Moments

**Tammie’s POV**

Sitting on the plane, I looked out the window and sighed deeply. I’d be leaving the rainy days in with Lou, Kait, Danielle, Jackie and the rest of the guys. I’m leaving the nice days out, where we’d walk around and meet fans. The days where we’d pull bulky hats out and just run around trying to stay undercover. A tear fell from my eye, but I brushed it away and turned away from the window. I took my iPod out and listened to music, eventually falling asleep after takeoff.

“Tam, we’re home.” Someone said, nudging my shoulders. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Lou smiling brightly at me, telling me it was just a dream. But I saw my mum smiling down at me sadly. I sighed, unbuckling myself and standing up, grabbing my bag and walking off the plane and into the airport in Texas. Probably as far from home as I’ll ever be. I sighed, remembering the last time I was here.

**Flash back**

“I’ll miss you, Tamantha.” My friend Madison said to me. I smiled and laughed at her nickname for me as I hugged her. “Keep in touch?” I asked her. She nodded, smiling and hugged me. I hugged her little sisters, then heard my mum call me. I waved as I turned and walked through the security stuff, heading towards the plane to London where I’d be living from now on.

**End of Flash Back**

I did keep in touch with Madison. We talked on Facebook and Twitter all the time. I’m glad I’ll be seeing her again. And since I’ll be moving back into my old house, I’d be right down the street from her… ready to surprise her. That’s the one thing I’m looking forward to right now, seeing Madison after so long without her.

The car pulled into our driveway and I looked up at our house and smiled. I grabbed my backpack and jumped out of the car, running inside and seeing that boxes were already everywhere. I ran up to my room, dropped my backpack and ran back down and out the door, jogging to Madison’s house. I ran up the three steps and knocked frantically on the door. The door opened and I saw her dark brown hair, so I threw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her neck. “I missed you so much!” I squealed, hugging her tightly. “Tamantha! What are you doing here!?” She asked, smiling and hugging me back. I pulled away and smiled at her. I pointed down to my old house, another truck pulling in with more boxes. “I moved back.” I told her. She smiled but then it fell. “What about… Kait and… Lou?” She asked me. I bit my cheek; I’ve been trying to stop thinking about him. “I… Um, want to help?” I asked, pointing at the house again. She nodded, calling to tell her mom where she was going and slipped on some sneakers, following me to the house.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to look at her. “What’s wrong? What happened?” She asked me. I sighed and looked down at my feet. “I… We… I left… him.” I told her. She gasped and asked why. “I’m… pregnant.” I said, a tear falling from my eye. “Oh my God…” She said and hugged me. “But… why did you leave?” She asked again. “He doesn’t need a baby. It would ruin his image.” I said softly. She sighed and looked at my stomach. “Did you talk to him about this?” She asked me. I shook my head. “Does he know?” She asked. I nodded. “You should have talked to him. See what he thought. What if he wants you and your baby?” She asked. I bit my lip. “I see what the fans say about Harry and Jackie… and I’m not sure if I could handle all that.” I said, tears welling up in my eyes. “I can’t get an abortion… and being with him would just make them all look awful…” I told her. I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked at her. She sighed and hugged me. “You’ll be okay.” She whispered. I shook my head and hugged her tightly. “I’ll never be okay without him with me.” I told her. My phone rang, pulling me out of my thought. The ringtone is an old song, a great one. “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles. Meaning that Lou was calling.

**Flash back**

“I’m going to set a ringtone for me,” Lou said, holding my hand tightly. “So that whenever I call you know it’s me.” He finished and kissed my lips. I laughed and said, “Then I’m setting one for you, that way you know to not ignore it.” He laughed and smiled widely; pushing his fingers in between mine and locking our hands as we walked down the street. He took his phone out and I took mine, swapping them. He set my ringtone quickly, but I was still looking for a good one. I looked at one and smiled widely at it, setting it as mine quickly. “What’d you set mine as?” I asked, taking the phone. “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” He told me, smiling widely. I laughed and kissed his cheek. “That’s cute.” I told him. He nodded and asked what I set his to. I laughed and said, “Oh, you’ll find out eventually…” he rolled his eyes at me and stopped in front of my house. “Call me?” He asked me. I nodded and kissed his lips before running inside. I fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed Lou’s number, moving to a window to look outside to see his reaction. I heard his phone ring and bit my lip to hold back my laughter as ‘Sexy and I Know It’ blasted from his phone. I saw him smile and laugh a bit. I giggled as he clicked a button. “Very creative.” I heard him say. I laughed and smiled again. “Isn’t it?” I asked him. He turned and smiled at me. I saw him roll his eyes and he winked at me. “I’m gonna get going,” He said. I nodded and said, “Bye. I’ll catch you later.” He nodded and hung up before blowing me a kiss. I blew one back, he caught it and put it in his pocket before walking away.

**End Flashback**

I fumbled for my phone and looked at the caller ID; Lou♥. I sighed and pressed the answer button, pressing the phone to my ear. “Hello?” I whispered. I turned away from Madison and took a few steps away. “Tam? I didn’t think you’d answer…” He said. I smiled a bit and said, “Didn’t we set the ring tones so that we’d know to pick up?” He laughed a bit and said, “Yeah, I guess but… I still didn’t expect you to answer…” He told me. I looked at the ground and shoved my hand into my sweatshirt pocket. “Come home.” He whispered. I shook my head. “I can’t, Lou. I’ll… One Direction’s image…” I told him. “I don’t care. I don’t care about what they think. I love you and I want you and our baby with me.” He told me. I sighed. I could just go home, but… we already have everything here and I know he does care. “Not now, Lou.” I said, still staring at my feet. “Why not?” he asked. I sighed. “Lou, I know you care. You care because of the guys, not you. I’d ruin their image as well as yours.” I told him. He sighed and I could imagine his hand running through his hair. “Tammie… Please… I love you, so much. I need you here with me.” He said, I could hear the pleading in his voice. “I’m sorry…” I whispered and pulled the phone away from my ear, pressing the ‘end call’ button on it and letting the tears fall from my eyes.

Madison came over and hugged me, leading me into my house where we went to my room to see all my boxes there. I pushed the tears away and opened a box, starting to set everything up.

We finished in a few hours and Madison went home. I sat in my bed, trying to sleep. My phone on the ground, plugged into the wall charging. I heard it vibrate and I opened my eyes, looking at the screen. A text from Lou. I sighed and reached over, taking the phone and opening the text. I read it and bit my lip, begging the tears to stay, to not leave my eyes. But they did, and they always would. Because the love of my life texted me, and he called me, and he kept trying to stop me. And no matter what I do, he’ll always love me back. And here I am, fucking everything up. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Right, for the band. I don’t want them to lose fans, or to get bad publicity. Which is what I would bring them. At least Jackie is a cute girl, sweet, caring… I’m just a bitch.

I read the text again, “You’re always welcome in my arms. I love you, -Lou xx.” More tears fell out of my eyes, I dropped my phone on the ground and tried to wipe them from my face with no use, they’d always fall. No matter what I do, until I’m back with him, they’ll fall down from my eyes to my cheeks and always be traitors. I don’t know when, but eventually I fell into and uneasy sleep from exhaustion.

*~*~*~*