The Blood In Your Veins Is Twenty Below.

Ronnie's POV

Unfortunately, the day went by pretty quick. I hadn’t seen Max or any of his friends since this morning. Soon enough I was outside waiting for Max. That asshole made me wait 15 minutes. I think I actually felt steam coming out of my ears when I saw him. He obviously enjoyed seeing this due to his obvious smirk. “What the fuck took you so damn long?” I asked, or yelled, however you want to put it.

He did his famous eye roll, something I never grew fond of. “Giving some bitch the time of her life.” A smirk crept on his face after this. “You probably don’t know what it feels like to give or receive pleasure from an actual human being.” He lifted up his left hand and laughed lightly, “you’re kind of repulsive.”

This caused a scoff to come from my mouth, “Fuck you.” This kind of stung at my heart. I hate how much of an effect he has on me. I don’t think he knows either.

“Uh no thanks. I think I’d puke with disgust before I could even.” Max looked at me while I just rolled my eyes and shot him a deathly glare. I didn’t feel like showing him how much his words hurt me. I couldn’t give him that kind of power. He’d use it against me and I’d be even more destroyed.

Max already knew where my house was for he lived two houses away from me. We hardly ever saw each other outside of school anymore. I did my best to avoid him. Of course there were some days where we would make eye contact usually when my dad and I got into an argument and I passed by his house to get away from my dad while he was outside having a smoke. Occasionally he would shout something at me but that didn’t happen too often. He never came over to me whenever he saw me like how he did in school. Thank god he didn’t either, those were probably the times where I was most vulnerable.

We finally reached my house after sitting there the whole time through awkward silence. As I got up from my seat, he began to rise up to trailing behind me. Trying to be civil with him, I smiled in his direction. When I didn’t get one in return, I kind of slumped down. There was no use trying to be nice to me, he never accept my kindness. He’d always returned it with a straight face or glare.

As I unlocked the door, he stepped in and looked over the living room. Obviously seeing how different it looked from the last time he came over. You could spot beer cans and whiskey bottles, as well as a couple baggies once containing drugs. Shit, my brother didn’t clean up after himself when he left to wherever he goes during the daytime. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I saw Max appearing surprised. “You do drugs?”

My head shook quickly as soon as those words left his mouth. “No um they’re my brothers” I mumbled, barely audible.

Max walked forward looking at me. He stood where the couch sat as I realized I should show him to my room. I brang him over to my room sitting there in silence when we got there. He seemed to get kind of timid for a little while. I wonder what he was thinking, of course I didn’t ask him he most likely wouldn’t tell me anyways. Plus it would look like I cared about him or something, and I guess I somewhat do, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Finally we began to do out project. And we were actually getting along. We laughed a bit and it began to feel like old times. It gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. He was unusually acting really nice not like the douche bag he always puts out to be. It made me feel good, the first time in a while.

"Remember when we were in grade 8 when we had those awesome hair cuts?" Max laughed out. Laughing with him, I nodded. I don't know what we were thinking. Max's hair was blonde contrasting with the black hair he had now. And I had red and black hair. Plus the actual cut we had didn't suit us at all. It was uneven and looked like we just cut it ourselves.

I smiled at him, looking at his eyes. They were a deep green colour that I felt I could get lost in forever. He looked away awkwardly. Sighing, I rolled my eyes. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want every guy in sight. But I wasn't going to tell him that, he'd either start an argument, find it funny, or believe it thinking I didn't like him that way. Which was the problem because at this very second I was second guessing that. After this time I spent with him, I was really starting to like him again.

“Hey can I ask you something?” he spoke. I nodded confused on what he was going to say. “Why is there so many bottles around your living room?” I dreaded that question, unaware if I should tell him the truth or lie. My mind was fighting with me but I came to the conclusion that I should just be truthful.

“Uh well my dad is an alcoholic so whenever he is home he ends up leaving his bottles all over the ground.” I was looking down the whole time.

“Oh” he paused, looking anywhere but my eyes, “He’s really changed over the years hasn’t he?” slowly I nodded.

Max’s face went straight for a couple of seconds before turning into a slight frown. His eyes were how they appeared to look like today in class after he insulted me. I could see the sympathy written all over his face. I didn’t want his sympathy. I don’t need anyone's sympathy. He didn’t give a shit before in fact he was one of the reasons that my life constantly felt like a living hell.

“I’m sorry..” Just as I was about to reply he spoke again, “I didn’t know that..” Of course you didn’t know that Max. You’ve been a complete dick ever since grade 10.

We just stared at eachother for a couple seconds, keeping still. Until he made a movement, he brought his hand up and put a strand of his hair behind his ear and glanced at me. The strand gently fell back down into it’s original spot. Instinctively I reached my hand up and tried to help. But I was surprised by his reaction. He jumped up and his expression of sympathy now turned into one of rage. “Don’t fucking touch me, you faggot!” he yelled at me.

Feeling the confidence to stick up for myself that I had all day. I decided I would right now as well. “I have a fucking name you know! Don’t act like you’re better than me, you’re so up your own ass about everything, Max!” I yelled right in his face, kind of shocked that I actually said that. Nonetheless proud, still feeling kind of upset though. His additude completely change over a matter of seconds.

“Shut the fuck up you worthless little bitch!” He arm reached out and he shoved me to the ground, “You will never amount to anything. No one could ever love something so disgusting.” He said simply standing over me. His glare was so harsh, I couldn’t look him in the eyes.

My eyes were fixed on him as I thought about what he just said. I was so angry, I was fuming. How could he say something so heartless? My lip started to quiver and I could feel my eyes glaze over. My fist started to clench as I tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn’t look him straight in the eyes anymore. I didn’t want him to see me cry. He’d take that as weakness. But I was so furious and felt so much despair. As hard as I tried to hold them back I couldn’t any longer. They started to fall without permission as I tried desperately to wipe them away, failing miserably. I shield my eyes with my arm.

After moment of silent weeping he spoke again.“I-I’m sorry” Max looking at me in the eyes one last time before rushing out of the house leaving me to sulk in my own misery.