The Blood In Your Veins Is Twenty Below.

Ronnie POV

My whole body ached as I awoke from the nap I had taken. Even though he only hit me in my gut area, I felt it throughout my whole body. It felt like my ribs had broken and every movement I made worsened the pain I already felt. Of course, I would probably not end up going to the hospital. I wouldn’t even tell my closest friends what went on at home, so why would I tell a complete stranger? Exactly, I wouldn’t. I have bad trust issues which isn’t too unbelievable considering what I’ve been through.

This whole day has been a living hell. I mean most days are hell, but this day was particularly worse. It was like the devil himself granted this severe anguish on me. It was like an everlasting hangover. I don’t know what I did to deserve this kind of life. I never did or said anything too mean to anyone. Actually I hardly talked to anyone anymore. It’s not like anyone tried to speak to me anyway.

Slowly, I got up out of bed stretching out my joints and trying to ignore the throbbing I felt everywhere. I was like I had just got done from a hard workout, but of course that wasn‘t true. Life was a hard enough workout for me. But unlike exercising, no matter how hard I tried, I never saw any results. I don’t remember the last time I felt truly happy.

Stumbling over to the washroom, I saw my reflection in the broken mirror in my room. The mirror was broken just like me. And there was no fixing it. That’s how I felt most of the time, like I couldn‘t be fixed no matter how hard I tried. I only got a little glance at my exposed skin, and it didn’t look good. But when do I ever?

I faced my bathroom mirror, finally seeing all the damages. This was usual for me. I hardly ever look at myself in the mirror anymore but my stomach sunk once I saw my reflection. There were bruising covering my chest, back, and legs along with the almost healed cuts on my once flawless wrist. The color mostly blanketed my chest and stomach, but there were also old bruises on my legs and back. I cringed not able to look at myself any longer.

I searched through the drawers in the washroom finding what I was looking for. The beautiful razor blade. The washroom light shined off the steel, making it look so promising. I tried to stop myself, but it glided across my wrist so naturally. The red fluid fled out of the incision, as I covered it up with a rag. It made the white cloth mark with the unsightly red coming from my veins. The gory wound made me feel numb. And that’s exactly what I needed at that moment. The only pain on my body I could feel was my wrist, outweighing the painful wounds and depressed emotions that seems to desist.

I walked out the washroom, feeling a lot more loose than I did before. I sat on my bed, looking around my unorganized room, and immediately got fixated on the hole in my wall.

This was the result of a heated argument that turned into a fight match between my father and I. That was the first time my dad came home completely hammered. I mean sometimes he came home dazed but this time he was out of it. He swung his fist at me, so instinctively I swung back. I know not to try that again. I hit his jaw causing his to stumble back and he flung right back at me, punching me square in the face. Which ending up in me falling back and the pressure of the strike made me hit the wall with so much force it created a hole in the wall. I was passed out for an hour, waking up with a throbbing pain throughout my whole head. Internally and externally.

The numbness that my cuts caused now stopped and I began to feel useless again. Holding back tears from the unbearable memories, I laid there trying to fall asleep because in my dreams I felt like I was worth something.

Light sounds came from my window, my eyes shooting open. The sound continued. I could see the swaying figure outside my window. I was way to terrified to see who it was. The figure knocked again groaning out my name.

Cautiously, I got up from my bed and slowly went over to the window opening the curtain. There stood Max. He looked totally out of it. His eyes were hazy and wouldn’t focus on one thing. The jeans he wore had a huge gash on the knee, along with the dirt stains all over his Iron Maiden shirt. He looked utterly terrible.

Why was he here though? He clearly wanted nothing to do with me today at school. He was only here because he was drunk and didn’t know he was doing. I look for another minute, too afraid to let him in. Ever since my dad has been getting drunk, I was frightened of being near anyone that was. Which makes sense, but my emotions got the better of me and I opened the window, “Max, wh-what are you doing here?”

His head turned my way, trying desperately to focus on me. Once he saw w he was staring at, a bright smile appeared on his face and he climbed through the window. He rushed towards me pushing me back on the bed and stripped to his boxers. My body burned once I hit the bed. His nearly nude body climbed into bed beside me snuggling up to my side. It happened so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. So I just laid there completely still.

Out of surprise, he reached for my wrist trying to concentrate on the newly cut skin. “Babyyy” he slurred out, sadly. Frowning, he kissed my flawed skin better. When he stopped, his leg went around my body and his arm found it’s way around my chest. I felt warmth radiate off my body. But this little skin to skin contact made my body hurt. I winced in pain trying to push him off my beat up body.

Pulling away, his eyes trailed up and down my sore limbs. That’s when he noticed all the wounds, his eyes nearly popped out of his head, “Wh-what the HELL happened to you?!” he practically yelled.

I laid there trying to figure out what to say. I could tell him the truth, that wasn’t something he needed to know. I’d just be another thing he could pick on me about and that’s the last thing I needed right now. Having the whole school know about what goes on at home. They’d think I’m weak, They would think I was trash. Then they would have to create a place worse than hell. Called my life. So I lied.

“Oh um I got jumped when I was, um, walking home from school.” Oh god, I sucked at lying, but fortunately he was so hammered he believed me, “but more importantly, why are you here?“ I continued.

“I wanted to see you, babyyy.” he spoke slowly and grabbed my crotch through my boxers, gently rubbing me. No one had ever touched me there, it felt so odd, but it made me feel a tingling feeling in my stomach.

I bit back a moan, as I arched my back upwards. But suddenly realization came to mind. This was Max Green, the guy that constantly brought down my self esteem and left me in the dust. He didn’t really care about me, he is just playing with my emotions. All he wants is a quick fuck. He just wants to get his dick hard and push me away again.

“Max, I’m not looking to be used then thrown away.” I said aggravated, pushing him away. “Don’t touch me, just fucking leave! You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.” I glared at him, he of course not noticing.

He looked at me trying to comprehend what I had just said, “Whaat? I’m n-not just gonna use youu.” he lied. But the next thing that came out of his mouth made me melt in his hands, “I love you, Ronnie.” Maybe I was jut being naïve, I should’ve just kicked him out right then. But my heart was telling me otherwise. So I believed him,

“I-I love y-you too.” I stuttered out, this was the first time I’ve ever said that to anyone in an intimate way. This was the first time I’ve even spoke of the word love in years. It seemed so foreign to me now. But I meant every word of it.

The smile on my face resulted in him crashing onto mine. Me not objecting, kissed back. It just felt right. To my surprise, he slipped his hand down my boxers and started to stoke my length. A soft gasp came out of my mouth as I moaned quietly.

“You like that?” he spoke a little more sober than before but still quite out of it. I groaned out, him taking that as a yes. His hands slipped to the waistband of my boxers, gently taking them off. Before he went any further, he looked at me in the eyes and said, “Are you a virgin?”

I blushed a deep shade of red, nodding me head confirming his constant teasing about my non existent sex life. There was a abnormal glint in his eyes and a smirk crossed his lips. I was fixated on his facial expression. I didn’t know what it meant.

But before I could put any deeper thought into it I was interrupted by Max all but shoving me onto my stomach, gripping my abused hips and slowly entering me. No prep, no lube. It’s safe to say, I was in pain. Not too severe. I bit the inside of my lip hard trying to weigh out the pain I was feeling.

As soon as he was in half way, he quickly shoved into me. This quick motion immediately caused tears to cloud my eyes. The agony was immense. Almost unbearable. He pulled out, making my insides feel a little better but that security soon went away when he quickly shoved back it. He repeated this process while I gripped the sheets in my tight grasp, nearly gnawing off my lip. It felt like I was getting ripped apart.

He didn’t seem to notice the situation I was in, Or care. “M-Max stop!” I breathed out desperately. But his pace didn’t cease.

“Shut up” he slurred, covering my mouth. He seemed to get rougher. Pushing in and out quickly. I felt his nails dip into my hips. The whole time through I got hardly any pleasure from the whole experience. This is not how I wanted to loose my innocence. But unfortunately that’s how it played out. He took my innocence, something that I grew to treasure, but now it was gone and there was no way of getting it back.

Eventually he reached his peak, cumming inside of me. I felt cold, contracting with the burning I felt. He slowly pulled out, releasing my hips and stoking up and down my sides with his soft fingers.

Before he could fall asleep, he whispered into my ear, “That was amaaazing baby, y-you were soooo tiiight.” He stretched out the words due to his intoxicating state. His arm ravelled around my waist, pulling me closer, his now soft length against my side. “I love youuu.” He practically passed out after that.

Now I understand what that glint in this eyes meant.