Bite My Tongue.

They had heard from Annie via Cara earlier in the night saying that she couldn't make it and that she had been 'detained'. It was hard to quantify what that even meant. Matt had even asked if she had been arrested, but Cara merely shrugged. It was seemingly hard to tell what Annie meant sometimes. So as the group of six managed to walk - a few of them drunkenly - from the venue to Cara's loft - six blocks away - they were surprised as they heard Annie's voice ring out from beyond the pooling light of the nearest streetlamp.

"Nice timing! I just got off work and got home to a party. I was wondering what might be taking you so long. Food's this way." Her voice was as light as ever and a few moments later, she stepped into the lamplight, hair pinned back, shadows dancing in the hollows of her skin. She wore a pair of Chuck Taylor's beneath a set of dark jeans that were spotted with paint and grease and a dark green tank top beneath a light denim jacket. She had a bottle of Guinness clutched in her left hand, and her keys were clipped to her belt loop, sparking in the lamplight. Josh felt his heart skip a beat. She made an outfit that was unbearably plain, look extremely good. He had to swallow, look away, distract himself.

"So, why were you 'detained'?" Dan piped and Annie smiled as she lead them toward the apartment and closer to the party.

"Someone called off work and they called asking me to fill in." She responded. "Extra cash, so, I'm not complaining."

"Are you always so 'brightside' about everything?" That was Matt. Annie actually chuckled at that one.

"Not everything. It's just extremely difficult to find what actually makes me angry." She responded. A few feet later, they reached a cooler and Annie kicked it open. Within the cooler were several iced beers. "Don't ever say I don't think ahead." She added as Cara squealed happily. "And I think we have pizza somewhere around here. I, on the other hand, am going to go get spliffed." She scuttled off in the direction of a group of people standing in a circle, passing what had to be a blunt.

Annie was joined soon after by Max and Josh himself, the others dispersing over the idea of food, alcohol and good music. Max was suitably impressed that Annie smoked, more surprised than anything and he did mention it to her later in the night, as the party was dispersing. "I didn't know you smoked."

"It isn't obvious?" She responded, giggling. She was much more hyperactive and easily amused after a few hits off of (several) blunts. The group had managed to make their way upstairs to Cara's loft and with a little finagling on Annie and Cara's part, there was enough space for everyone to crash on a relatively soft surface. The couch bed had been folded out leaving space for three people, and then there were Annie and Cara's beds, respectively as well as a recliner.

It was an hour before dawn when the group finally decided to pass out, most dropping wherever they had been sitting while they talked animatedly, and the last two standing - or sitting - happened to be Josh and Annie. The pair, realizing everyone else was asleep, became immediately candid.

"How do you always know what to say?"

Annie's eyebrow rose almost comically. "What do you mean?"

"You put things in perspective every time we talk." Josh continued, watching Annie to gauge her reaction. She merely shook her head.

"Sometimes all it takes is an outside perspective to make the world make sense." She shrugged. "Sometimes, you believe you're doing the right thing, that you're being a good person, that you're doing what you think you should, and you get so blinded by what you believe, you lose sight of the collateral damage to those around you. In the end, those who have been there for you through thick and thin are more important. Sometimes you need an outsider to remind you of that." She was quiet as she spoke, taking a sip of Coke from the can she had yanked from the fridge only twenty minutes prior, her eyes averting his. She smiled enigmatically, shrugging. "I've been through a lot more than I let on. I've had enough time to figure shit out."

Josh watched her carefully, studying the way her body physically reacted. She seemed so aloof, so focused on the conversation and not herself. She shifted a little, an uncomfortable wiggle that he didn't quite understand. The pair sat in silence for a few more moments before he confessed what he had done. "I broke up with her before the show tonight."

Annie's head shot up and she spun to face him. "How did that go over?" She asked.

"She's pretty gutted." He replied, shrugging. "But you were right. I don't deserve someone who doesn't treat my mates well. It causes too many issues and my mates are my family, y'know?"

Annie nodded. "I don't know what I'd do without Cara sometimes." She said. "I've been through a lot of shitty boyfriends and shittier life experiences and it helps that she's there when I need her."

Josh's eyebrow rose. Shitty boyfriends? "How so?"

"I keep finding dickheads." She said. "Assholes, douchebags, the like."

"You don't deserve that." He was being honest, more honest than he may have been in a long time.

"I know." She said, smiling sadly. "It's why I've sworn off dating for a while." Her shoulders shrugged and her eyes closed. They had been half-lidded for over an hour now and Josh himself was starting to feel the effects of the melatonin increase that the THC implemented. He was feeling sluggish, tired. Still, in her face, he saw the way she looked pained, as if it hurt to think about all she had been through. And somehow, he thought maybe, he could make it up to her.

"C'mon, luv, let's get you to bed."

"What, are you going to do? Carry me to my room?" It was the first sardonic thing he thought he had ever heard her say. He lifted her easily, chuckling at the sound of Annie's startled gasp. "I take that back." She mumbled, head caving against his chest. She was asleep before his foot toed open her door.

Stretching her across her bed, careful to slide her sheets over her thin frame, Josh slid into the bed beside her and watched her for a few more moments, wondering idly what she had meant when she mentioned her life experiences before he rolled to face away from her and tumbled down the rabbit hole and into the Wonderland.