My Heart's Always With You Now

As Soto and I walked back to my car I decided to take a chance to look at him again. Just the way his Black pants and red shirt clung to him almost made me want to let out a small gasp. I started the car as we both got in and moved around some of my junk out of the way.

“Sorry.” I said with a small blush. “I don’t usually have passengers in here so it’s never really clean.”

“No don’t worry about it.” He said with a small laugh. “I’m sure my car is probably dirtier.”

I laughed lightly again and pulled out of the alley-way. “So do you want me to stop by your place really quick so you can grab some clothes or anything?”

“Yeah sure that’d be great. Just follow this road and then take a right.”

“Alright.” I picked up my speed a little bit more and took his directions to his house.

“So…” he said as he turned in his seat to look at me. “What kind of music are you into?”

I turned on my blinker as I took the right turn and followed down some road. “Well mostly just punk rock but I’ll listen to bands like Metallica, Pantera, and Guns ‘N Roses too. What about you?”

“Yeah the same. I’m in a band too.” He smiled at me as he pulled up his sleeve to show a tattoo that read Mental Fiction in black bold letters with a picture of a knife sticking out of a brain.

“Ahh very nice.” He smiled at me and then pulled his sleeve back down. “So where do I turn or stop?” I said still trying to figure out which house was his.

“Oh sorry it’s this one right here.” He pointed to a large house at the end of the corner and I couldn’t help but let my jaw drop a little bit. It was at least 3 stories high and about 50 feet wide with blue shutters on the windows.

“Woah…this is your house?”

“Yeah.” He said with a fake smile. “Home sweet home.”

I pulled up into his driveway and stopped the car. “Do you want me to go in with you?” He let out a small sigh and shook his head.

“I appreciate it but I have to do this on my own. I doubt he’s even here anyway.”

I nodded my head to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “Alright. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He smiled back at me and then opened the car door. “I’ll try to be quick.”

I watched him walk up the sidewalk to his front door and slipped inside silently. His house was really nice though which suddenly made my stomach turn cause he was about to see my house A.K.A The Dump.

I messed with the radio dial as I waited for him to come back and about 5 minutes later I saw the car door opening and he got inside placing his suitcase into the back.

“Did you get everything you needed?”

He nodded his head and shut the door behind him. “Yeah. Come on let’s just go I want to get out of here.”

I pulled the car back into reverse as I pulled out of the driveway and drove back in the direction of my house. Soto was still pretty silent on the ride home and was just looking out of the window.

“So…” I said to try and break the silence. “What happened? Was he there?”

He still didn’t say anything for a second as he kept peering out of the car and then after a moment he spoke. “No…but he left this on the table with a note.” He pulled a ring out of his pocket and held it out for me to see. “I’m sorry things ended this way…but I need something more. Good-bye.” I looked at the ring in his hand as he held it open for me to see and then I glanced back up at him. Tears looked like they were threatening to fall from his eyes again so I closed his hand that was holding the ring and put my hand over it too.

“Come here.” I put my arm around him as he laid his head on my chest and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. “It’ll be alright So…it’ll be alright.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist as I kept driving and closed his eyes. Pretty soon before I knew it he had fallen asleep before we even made it home. I looked down at his sleeping state and watched his chest slowly move up and down with a light sound of his breathing. I can’t believe such an awful thing like this happened to him. He seems to wear his heart on his sleeve which only gets taken away from him and broken. Well I won’t do that to him. I promise you that Soto.

After about 10 minutes later of driving through Oakland I finally pulled onto the road which led to my house. Crack dealers and prostitutes could be seen on the corners and gangs in their low-riders cruised on past me in their own cars. God I can’t wait to get out of this god-forsaken place.

I pulled up into my driveway and pulled the car into park as it came to a stop. Soto was still asleep against my chest so I ran my hand through his hair to try to get him to wake up a little bit.

“Soto…” I said as I ran my fingers across his cheek. “Soto we’re here.”

He opened his eyes about halfway and smiled up at me. “Alright…” He sat up pulling his arms from around my waist stretching them slightly and yawned. I smiled at him again as I watched him and he looked at me a little sheepishly.

“So this is your house huh?” he asked me as he looked up at the house.

I took in a small gulp and nodded slowly. “Yeah…this is it. I’m sorry it’s nothing compared to yours. I’m kinda broke so I can’t afford anything else.”

He shook his head at me and took my hand in his. “Hey I don’t care alright?” he kissed my hand and than ran his own across my cheek. “I’m just glad you’re going to be with me.”

I smiled back at him and then nodded my head. “Alright well then I guess we should go inside before something happens. This area isn’t really safe at night.”

“What do you mean not safe?” he asked as he grabbed his suitcase out of the backseat. “Like there’s drive by’s and shit around here?”

I nodded my head to him and put my hand to my lips to show him to be quiet. “Look right over there…” I whispered and pointed to about 3 guys staring at us from their house window. “There’s always something going on.”

He glanced at them for about a second and then looked at me. “How the hell did you know they were there?”

“Well if you’ve lived in this area for as long as I have you have to learn how to notice even the smallest things around you. You’re in downtown Oakland now. Nothing’s safe…well as long as you leave them alone anyways.”

His eyes had gotten a little wider and he reached for the car door. “Alright then, I guess let’s just go inside now before something does decide to happen.”

I couldn’t help but laugh lightly to myself and followed his orders. We walked up the steps to my house and I stood in front of the door before he went inside.

“Alright now before we go inside I have to tell you something alright?”

He raised his eyebrow at me a little bit with a curious look. “Alright. What is it?”

“Alright well my dad is um…well he’s kind of a drunk so if he says anything to you just ignore it alright? He’s out of his mind and doesn’t know what he’s saying 99% of the time.”

He nodded his head and smiled at me. “Jared you don’t have to worry about that alright? I’m used to hanging around drunks anyway. You remember who my dad is right? He’s a fucking lunatic himself.”

I took in a deep breath and unlocked the door. “Alright well I’m just saying that I warned you.”

I opened the door quietly and put my hand to my lips again showing him that we had to be quiet. “My room’s just upstairs.” I whispered to him. “I think he’s passed out anyways.” We tiptoed around the couch that as I guessed my dad was passed out on with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. Whoo what a surprise. I tried to guide us both through the darkness and finally after almost slipping on a beer bottle we made it to the stairs and up to my room. I turned on the light as I shut the door behind him and locked it. My room wasn’t anything special I guess you could say. Just a bed, dresser, and a few rock band posters hanging on the walls.

“Wow…” he said as he put down his suitcase and made his way over to the picture of me and The Rev together. “You actually met him?”

I walked over to where he was standing and put my hands in my pockets with a smile. “Yeah I’ve met him a few times actually. We’ll hang out when he’s in the area at Johnny’s or something.”

“Johnny’s?” he asked me.

“Oh Johnny’s is a bar in Huntington.”

“Oh.” He looked away from the picture and then looked back to me with a smile. “I really appreciate what you’re doing for me Jared. It’s really nice of you to just take in a complete stranger.”

I smiled back at him and shook my head. “No don’t even sweat it. I know what it’s like to have no where to go sometimes. It sucks.”

“Yeah…” he said as he looked down a little bit and then back up to me. “But it still means a lot to me.”

I blushed lightly at his gaze over me and then sat down on the bed. “Well I know this is gonna sound really stupid so you can’t laugh alright?”

He sat down beside me with a smile and put his hand over mine again. “I promise I won’t laugh. Just tell me.”

I scratched the back of my neck trying to cover up my blush again and smiled at him. “Well it just seem that… I’ve just…oh I don’t know like I’ve known you for a long time already. You really know how to make a person feel comfortable around you.”

He smiled at me a little wider and made his grip on my hand a little firmer. “Well I really like you Jared. I mean you’re probably one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met you know?”

“Really?” I said a little bit in shock. “I can’t be, I mean come on you’ve always got people hanging over you. Surely they treat you like you’re a king or something.”

“Well they do.” He said with a little more insensitivity. “But it’s really fake. They hang all over me because their scared to live their own lives. They always want someone to tell them what to do or think and to tell you the truth it gets tiring after awhile. I’m kinda glad I get to get away from them for a little while. I mean surely they can find someone else to lead their lives anyway.”

I sat there a little stunned to tell you the truth. “Wow…I never knew.”

He chuckled lightly and then laid down on my pillow. “Nah don’t worry about it. Not very many people do.”

“Well.” I said as I laid down beside him as well. “What are you going to do tomorrow then? Want to take the day off from being god and hang out with me?” I smiled at him which made him laugh and he nodded his head.

“Sounds good to me.”