Young, Dumb, and in Love

We grew up together from the moment we were born. My mother and his were best friends since high school. We celebrated the big holidays together. We spent every waking moment we could together. He was pretty much my first everything; first friend, first kiss, first guy I had sex with.

I can still remember growing up with him.

"Johnny, wait up!!" I called as he ran ahead of me. Mommy told us to go play on the playground and all he was doing was running from me. "Johnny, wait," I yelled.

"Come on, Meggy!" he called back to me. "We're almost there!"

"Where are you taking me, Johnny?"

"You'll see, just come on," he urged still running ahead of me. We ran until I was panting. He led us to a tree all the way on the other side of the park on top of a hill. "Here we go, Meggy," he said as he sat down at the base of the tree.

"What are we doing here Johnny?" I asked.

"This is going to be our spot, Meggy. When I get big and strong I'm going to carve our names here and then when we're real old we can take our children and grandchildren here and tell 'em this is our spot," Johnny smiled proudly.

I stood there for a moment and then laughed, "You're such a girl Johnny!!"

But he was right, from that moment on that tree was our spot. Whenever I needed some time away from my family or life, I would call him and we would meet at our spot to just talk and laugh. When we were 12 he carved our names into the tree. When we were 16 we gave our virginities to each other in a drunken episode.

I swayed as John and I walked towards the tree, giggling uncontrollably. "Johnny, do you think I'm pretty?"

He plopped us down at the base as he said, "I think... I think... I think you're beautiful, Meggy. Why?"

"No you," I hiccupped, "no you don't. I'm ugly, Johnny. No guy will ever like me."

"Well, I like you just fine," he slurred.

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you do-" I started to say before he cut me off with a sloppy kiss. It started out as just a way to shut me up, but it soon turned into a flurry of intoxication and hormones resulting in me waking up as the sun rose, naked, and curled into John's side.

I think it was after that that I really started to see him in a different light. Instead of seeing him as my attractively lanky best friend, I started seeing him as if we were going to live our whole lives together. That is until he cheated on me at a party the next week. Well, I don't think you can really call it cheating since we were never really official because we didn't talk about that night.

I had walked around the party for hours looking for John to no avail. He was supposed to meet me here. I asked our friends where he was and all of them refused to tell me. I went upstairs to use the bathroom when I heard a loud female moan coming from the room across the hall. I shook my head in disgust until I heard the voice yell out John and then John's voice yell out a curse word. I was so angry at John for ditching me for a random hookup that I barged in.

The chick started screaming at me while I just stared at John with tears of anger, betrayal, and sadness filling my eyes. "I guess 15 years of friendship is nothing in comparison to a hook up, huh John."

"Megan, wait it's not like that!" he yelled after me.

"It is definitely like that, John! Unless you can come up with a damn good reason for you ditching me for a one night stand, it is exactly like that! So do you have a damn good reason?" He stayed where he was looking like a fish gasping for water. "Exactly, John, so don't bother talking to me anymore. Have all the one night stands you want. I don't care anymore," I slammed the door behind me and left.

It was in those moments where I was storming home that it hit me: I loved John. I had loved John ever since we were little. He was my world, my best friend, my confidante, and he took my virginity without a thought. He disregarded everything we had and did a Mexican hat dance on it.

I didn't talk to John throughout the rest of high school. He tried to apologize many times, but I was firm in protecting my broken heart. I made new friends, had boyfriends, and moved on in life without John. After graduation I left, I traveled all over during that summer before college, went back home for a week, and then left again for college. In college I met the man who would heal my heart, Alexander, Zander to anyone who knew him well.

Zander and I dated seriously throughout all of college and for two years afterwards. On our six year anniversary he proposed, and I accepted. We decided we wanted to have our wedding in my hometown, so we moved. We were in my hometown planning the wedding for six months.

It was my wedding day, finally, and I couldn't wait to be married to Zander. We were just about to say I do when someone behind us screamed for us to stop. I turned around to be faced with the much more mature face of my used-to-be best friend. "John? What are you doing here?"

"You can't marry him Megan," he said. He looked as if he hadn't showered in a couple days. His clothes were rumpled, he had stubble on his chin, and his head was covered with a gray beanie.

"And why not?" I asked getting an attitude with him. I looked to Zander mouthing a sorry while mentally comparing them. Zander was the exact opposite with dark hair cut close to his head and so many more muscles.

"Because I love you," he exclaimed. "And I know you love me!" At this the crowd gasped.

"If I loved you, I would not be here right now about to marry Zander," I said getting angry.

"If you didn't love me you wouldn't have had your wedding at our tree, you wouldn't have scheduled your wedding for a time when you thought I wasn't going to be home, you wouldn't have come to every concert that was in the city you were in! If you didn't love me you wouldn't be about to cry right now."

I knew my eyes were watering because he was right. I tried so hard to forget him and not to love him, but I couldn't. Zander is what I needed. He loves me and has never disrespected or hurt me in any way. "John, what we had is in the past. Yes, I loved you, but I love Zander now. He is the one I choose."

"He is the easy choice and you know it! I love you with everything I have! We clash sometimes, I know that, but we are meant for each other! So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."

He was right, and he knew it. He knew exactly what to say to mend the damages he had done in the past, to make me forget what he did in the past. I turned to Zander. I took his hands and whispered, "Zander, I'm so sorry, but he's right. What you and I have is complacency. We're both afraid to try something else, hell I'm terrified to be with someone else, and we're not what the other needs. I'm sorry we had to find out this way, this late, but at least we did. So I love you, and I hope we can still be friends after this, but I'm going with him."

He smiled sadly, kissed my forehead softly, told everyone the wedding was off, and walked away. As soon as Zander was out of sight I ran into John's awaiting arms.

"You better not screw up this time, mister," I smiled at him as he was holding me up.

"Never in a million years," he whispered against my lip before kissing me. He then grabbed my hand and started pulling me somewhere.

“Where are you taking me now, Johnny?” I laughed feeling like a giddy school girl with her first crush, which I kind of was.

“Wherever life takes us, Meggy,” he smiled his devil-may-care smile that I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. Who knew where life would take us and as long as I had John with me I did not care one bit. We were Young, Dumb, and In Love.