Desperately Reaching for Something in the Dark

It was weird waking up the next morning and the first thing I saw being Alex playing with Charlie on the floor in the bedroom Charlie and I shared.

I sat up, crossing my legs and making sure to be as quiet as I could so I didn’t make them stop. The smile on Charlie’s face was enormous and you could tell she was definitely happy.

“Shit,” I muttered as my cell phone started viciously vibrating from the bedside table. I grabbed it and saw it was a text from Rikki. I haven’t talked to her in almost two weeks. I guess with the whole telling Alex about his daughter situation made me forget about my best friend back home.

Rikki: Hey, girly! Haven’t heard from you for a while. Anything going on I should know about? ;) Love you!!

I laughed to myself before replying.

Arianna: Sorry, been a bit busy with Alex and Charlie. And no, nothing’s going on. But you’ll be the first to know when something drastic happens. Promise. Love you!

I put my phone back on the table and got off of the bed, joining the two others in the bedroom on the floor, sitting next to Alex, both of us watching Charlie as she stood up and ran out of the room.

“Do you have a clue what she’s doing?” He asked, causing me to turn my attention over to him from the doorway.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure, to be honest. Wanna go find her?”

He stood up, holding out his hand to help me up before I could even think of standing up. I grabbed his hand, tingles shooting up my arm as our hands touched. As cliché as that sounds, it’s completely true. Butterflies erupted throughout my stomach whenever we hugged or I was even around him. It was sad, really, how bad I still had it for this boy.

Our hands were still connected as we walked through the house trying to find our daughter. After going through all the bedrooms from upstairs, I started to get worried. She never did anything like this before. Alex noticed that I was getting worried and he squeezed his grip on my hand tighter, in attempts to assure me that everything was alright.

“Don’t worry; I’m sure she’s downstairs watching SpongeBob.”

Relief rushed through my body when she was, in fact, doing exactly what Alex said. I let out a sigh of relief and tried to let go of Alex’s hand, but he pulled the grip tighter again, not letting me let go.

Instead, he pulled me by my hand into the kitchen. After turning on the light he pushed me backwards until my back hit the counter. He detached our hand and took a step back, looking at me from my head to my toes.

I began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. “W—what are you l—looking at?” I mentally cursed at myself for stuttering.

“Just looking at a pretty girl.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. Like we had no past… no daughter… no anything. It was almost like we were strangers just meeting.

“Oh, uh, okay.” I said, turning around and grabbing a box of Fruit Loops from the cabinet above the sink. “Do you want some?”

“Sure.”

I grabbed three bowls and poured cereal into each one, then poured in enough milk in two of them. One of Charlie’s weird things she does is eats the cereal dry, and drinks milk out of a cup while eating the cereal. I told myself she got that from Alex.

“Charlie! Come to the table!” I yelled from the dining room. I heard the pitter-patter of her feet as she ran into the room, climbing on the chair and sitting down.

“Fruit Loops!” She exclaimed, digging her hand in the red plastic bowl and pulling out a handful of the colorful cereal, putting them one by one in her hand.

I placed mine and Alex’s bowl on the table on the opposite side of where she was sitting and called for him as well. I sat down and began to eat while he made his way to the dining room and sitting down next to me.

Once we finished, Alex took Charlie up to our bedroom and got her changed while I cleaned up the bowls from breakfast. When I got them all cleaned and dried, I put them back in the cabinet and ran up the stairs to get out of my pajamas and into an outfit for the day. I ended up settling on a tank top and a pair of shorts.

I met up with Charlie and Alex back in the living room. Alex was still in a pair of basketball shorts and an old white v-neck t-shirt with a hole in the shoulder.

“I forgot clothes to bring.” He awkwardly laughed. “I just brought these to sleep in.”

“Well, I was just planning on going to the grocery store and getting a few things and maybe going to the park by the school. You could go home and change and meet us at the park?”

He nodded. “Yeah, sure, sounds good.” He stood up and picked up Charlie, hugging her tightly against his chest, making her squeal and giggle. After he set her down on her feet, he walked over to me and held out his arms. I walked into his embrace and his arms went around my middle, hugging me the same way he hugged Charlie. Except I didn’t squeal. I gasped when his lips brushed my neck, sending another shiver down my spine.

“I’ll let you know when I’m on my way to the park.”

I was still in shock from what just happened that it took me a few seconds to collect myself and reply with an “okay”.

I stood there, still not moving, until Alex left. I let a sigh escape my lips. Charlie ran over to me and wrapped her small arms around my left leg.

“Mommy! What’s wrong?!”

I patted the top of her head. “Nothing, sweetie. Hey, do you wanna come to the store with me?”

She shook her head.

“We can get cookies.”

She let go of my leg and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the front door and outside to my car.

--

I pushed the cart down the aisle with bread and snack cakes—in other words, Charlie’s favorite aisle. Her face beamed when she saw all the snacks lying on the shelves and grabbed a box of Ding Dongs as we passed them.

“I want this!”

“What about the cookies?” I motioned to the package of Chips Ahoy Cookies in the cart already.

“Can I get both?” I shrugged my shoulders, nodding. “Thank you, mommy!”

“You better be good today or else I’ll give these to daddy and he’ll eat them all.”

“No!”

“Then be good.”

“Okay.” She said, holding her arms out for me to pick her up. I did and placed her in the cart.

I only had one item left to get, and that was a gallon of milk so I began walking to the aisle the milk was located and before I turned the corner I ran my cart into someone.

I looked up and saw someone that made my body tense up. Her hair was up in a messy bun, her eyes were red and blotchy and she was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I kind felt sorry for her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rachel.” I spoke. “I should’ve paid looked before I turned.”

She sniffed. “Oh, no, it’s alright. It’s my fault, too.”

“A—are you okay?” I asked her. I was a little worried, you’d say, because when I first met her yesterday, she was so prim and proper; clean-cut. In the past 24 hours she did a complete 360 degrees. Her entire demeanor changed.

“I just got off the phone with Alex, but I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

She nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Alright, if you say so.” I sent her a small smile before pushing the cart again, not giving her a second glance.

“Hey, Aria?” I turned at the call of my name, nodding to tell her to go on without actually communicating with words to her. “You’re a good person and… last night I said some things in the heat of the moment about you. So if Alex tells you anything… I’m sorry.”

She sad bad things about me? Hm, I wonder what they were. I’d have to ask him later. “Oh… okay. Thanks for telling me.”

--

“Alex?” I questioned as we sat down next to each other on the nearest bench and watched our daughter play on the slide.

He turned to face me. “Yeah?”

I was a little weary to bring up his ex-girlfriend, but I really, really wanted to know what she said. I took a deep breath. “What did Rachel say about me last night after dinner?”

He involuntarily cringed when I spoke her name but answered me anyway. “She basically called you a bitch because you didn’t tell me about Charlie until 3 years after she was born.”

“Anything else?”

“She—she thought it was selfish that you didn’t tell me. But I get why you didn’t. You didn’t tell me because you cared about me and my future. You loved me.” He informed me.

“I still do.” I mumbled quietly, silently hoping that Alex didn’t hear those words pass my mouth.

“I still love you, too, you know.” I looked up at him. The expression on his face was completely serious.

“Y—you do?” I stuttered, finding it hard to conjure up words.

He nodded, leaning forward and resting his forehead against mine. He slowly inched forward, and I did as well, until our lips were barely touching. There was an initial shock at first, both of us getting used to the feeling of each other’s lips once again.

I was the first to pull away, my eyes wide as I opened them and looked him dead in the eyes.

We stared at each other for a few more seconds before his lips were on mine again. This time, his arms moved to wrap around my waist as I melted into his touch. I brought my hands up and around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair at the base of his neck. The kiss we were locked in was simple, but had a sense of urgency to it. Like kissing me was the most important thing in the world.

“Ew! Mommy! Daddy! Stop that!” We pulled away to the sound of our daughter’s voice.