Desperately Reaching for Something in the Dark

We were leaving in a week. Exactly one week. This trip was so much better than I could’ve asked for. With Charlotte finding out who her dad is, Alex and I reconnecting, and being around people I absolutely adore was definitely something I was going to miss when we leave.

Today was June 21st, in other words; Charlie’s 4th birthday.

I’ve been running around since 8 o’clock this morning making everything as perfect as it could be. It was currently noon, and Charlie was out with my parents while I decorated for her party. We decided it’d be a surprise.

The doorbell rang and I ran over to open it. Alex stood there the present we both got Charlie together in pink wrapping paper in his hands.

“Thank God you’re here!” I exclaimed, taking the box from him and sitting it on the floor. I hugged him and kissed his cheek as I let go. “I’m stressing out, big time. The party starts in 3 hours and I still have to pick up the cake, fill up the balloons, hang up streamer and get myself ready.” I rambled on. “Why didn’t you come earlier?!” I joked around, slapping his arm.

He laughed, pulling me into another one of his amazing hugs that I would miss when we had to leave. I took in his scent; Axe and whatever type of soap he uses. He smelled good. “I had to get ready myself, you know. It takes time to look this good.”

I scoffed and slapped his chest; something I decided that I enjoyed doing a lot more than I probably should have. “You’re ridiculous.”

“All joking aside, we can get this done in time, I promise. We’ll start with the balloons and streamer outside, and then I can go get the cake while you get yourself all pretty. Sound good?”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the backyard. “Come on.”

Blowing up the balloons with Alex was definitely… different. He tried his hardest to make some type of sexual comment every 5 minutes or so that just resulted in laughter from me. He’s always been like this ever since he and Jack became best friends. Once we had got all the balloons filled up, we started hanging them around the backyard and in the house, taping them up to the outside of the house, the fence, and on the walls inside. Next was the streamer. I had bought four different colors—pink, blue, orange and red—which were all Charlie’s favorite colors. She always said something along the lines of “I can’t just have one!” whenever she was asked what her favorite color was.

Almost an hour later, we were finished decorating. All the tables in the backyard were covered by a white tablecloth and the grill was out on the deck, all ready to go for when the party started and my dad would start cooking, and we sat the presents from me, him, my parents and Alex’s parents on a table on the deck.

Once we were finished with the decorating part, I plopped down on the couch in the living room, my body sinking into the soft, navy blue cushions. Alex stopped at the back of the couch, laughing as I sprawled out as best as I could with the small piece of furniture.

“You look comfortable.”

“I’m not.” I sighed. “But I’m too lazy to go upstairs to take a shower.”

“Is that you discretely telling me that you want to be carried upstairs?” Alex smirked. I nodded. “Why should I do that?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“…Because you love me?” I questioned, looking over at him and smiling. He sighed and walked over to the front of the couch, bending down so I could easily climb on his back. His hands wrapped around my thighs to keep me positioned as my arms went around his neck. “Thank you, Lex.” I made sure to express how much I appreciated what he was doing so I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the skull tattoo behind his ear.

“Lex?” He questioned, tightening his grip on my thighs, “I haven’t been called that in a long time.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I guess it was your thing. Kinda like how the only person you let call you ‘Ar’ was me.”

“Is it still my thing?” I asked as we entered the room Charlie and I shared.

He nodded. “Do you want it to be?”

I sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’d like so, yes.” I told him before he sauntered over to me, gently pushing my back against the bed. I crawled up the bed a little bit, putting my head on a pillow before he climbed over me, hovering his body over mine by his arms.

“Do you remember how many good times we had on this bed?”

I nodded. “And the bad. Remember that time my dad found you on top of me under the sheets? God, he flipped.”

He laughed, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine before responding, “Yeah, I do. We weren’t even having sex, just kissing. Maybe it just looked like we were from the door.” We both laughed. “I’m sure your dad hated me for a while after that.

I turned my head to see what time it was. 2 o’clock already. “Shit, we’ve got an hour left. You need to go get the cake.” I tried to get out from underneath him, but he put his legs on the outsides of mine, pinning me underneath. “Come on, Alex, we have stuff to do!”

He just chuckled, bringing his hand up and moving the hair from my face. His lips captured mine for a few seconds before pulling away and rolling off of me, fixing his shirt and giving me one last hug after I stood up and left to get the cake.

I was left with my own thoughts. All types of questions ran through my head. Did Alex want us to get back together? Did I want us to? But… would it last while I’m out in California and he’s on tour this summer?

I guess that’s one thing I’d have to worry about if and when we get back together.

--

Everyone was out in the backyard awaiting Charlie’s arrival. I was standing beside Alex, his arm draped around my waist and my arm around his middle. Jack, Rian, Cassadee, Zack, his girlfriend, Emily, Alex’s parents and a bunch of my family members were standing in the grass. Finally, the sliding door opened and Charlie had a huge smile on her face. She was dressed in a dress that had a white top and a pink bottom.

The first thing she did was run over to where Alex and I were standing and jumped into our arms. She squealed as we squeezed her tighter. “Mommy! Daddy! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” We put her back on the ground and she ran off to the table of presents. Of course she’d do that.

30 minutes later and my dad called out “Food!” and we all lined up near the grill, awaiting a hamburger or hot dog, whichever you preferred.

Charlie, Alex and I were sitting at a table along with my parents and his. She was sitting on Alex’s lap as everyone ate.

“Oh, Charlie,” I laughed, “you got some ketchup on your cheek.” I licked my finger before wiping it off, earning a cheeky grin from her in thanks.

After we all finished eating, it was present time after Charlie begged and begged the entire time. It seemed like she only cared about the presents, not her family being around—typical 4 year-old mindset, to be honest. She mostly got toys or something else she’d enjoy. Alex and I got her a huge dollhouse with a few Barbie dolls as well. Like she needed more of those. All in all, she got so many toys I don’t think we’d be able to take them all back to California with us.

After the presents were all opened, we decided on cake after everyone’s stomachs settled after eating the food from earlier. We sat Charlie at the front of the cake and Alex lit the four birthday candles atop of the Disney Princess themed cake she wanted.

“Happy birthday to you,” everyone began singing and she just sat back in her chair, grinning as we all sang to her. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Charlie, happy birthday to you!”

We all clapped as she blew out the candles on the cake. It was half chocolate and half vanilla—so again, you got to choose which type of cake you preferred. Charlie and Alex requested chocolate while I got vanilla. We sat down on the steps of the deck and ate our cake while Charlie sat in the same spot where we sang to her at.

“Today’s been good,” Alex commented, swallowing a bite. “Don’t you think?”

“It has been pretty good.”

“Charlie loved her present from us. Did you see that look on her face? My God does that child like Barbies.”

“I’m sure that was her favorite present of all.”

He laughed. “It’s only because it’s from us.” He smirked.

Then it became quiet between us. You could hear the noise from everyone else at the party talking, but where Alex and I were sitting, it was quiet and peaceful. Something you definitely need when Charlie is a handful 24/7.

“Do you know what would make today better?” Alex questioned, breaking the silence.

“Um,” I pursed my lips, thinking of anything. But I came up with nothing. “No. Why?”

“I do.” He took both of our paper plates and plastic silverware and tossed them into the trashcan, then came back. “Would you like to know what it is?”

I nodded.

He inched forward, his face a few inches from mine. “Would you, Arianna Rose Langdon, be my girlfriend again?”

I smiled. “I’d love to.”

Our lips met, sparks instantly flying around as our lips moved in sync with each other. His hand came up and he placed it against my cheek. He smiled into the kiss we were locked in as my arms went around his neck.

“Hey, have you guys se—” We separated as we heard Alex’s mother’s, Isobel, voice from behind us. “Oh, sorry about that.” And then she scurried off, back to where the festivities were happening.

Alex and I just laughed and he leaned forward again, kissing me once more.

I pulled away and said: “Charlie and I are leaving next week.” I didn’t even think before those words rolled off of my tongue.