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My name is George Ryan Ross III, but I prefer to be called Ryan. I am 17 years old and I am bullied by day and praised by night. How is that possible? I'll let you into my little world-if only for a brief moment.

I get called a faggot at school. No one likes me-or who they think I am rather. I mean-yea-I like guys, so what? How does that make me any different from anyone else? It doesn't. People just don't seem the grasp this concept. They never have.

One the other hand, I'm popular. I write stories and poems. People like them. They praise me and call me a genius. I know some of these people who call me a genius via the Internet, but they don't really know me. I hide behind a user-name. I never dare tell anyone what my real name is. I don't know what to expect if I do tell everyone. I like the anonymity to it anyways. I enjoy mystery and suspense.

It's weird walking into school and people talking about how great you are without them knowing it and then shooting hateful words at you right after, but that weirdness gets me through the day. I love walking down the hallway and hearing one of the popular girls talking about how great my new poem was or asking a friend if she read the fourteenth chapter of my story that I posted only yesterday night.

People don't realize how much they love me. They won't ever understand. I still have trouble grasping it sometimes. But let's not talk about me anymore, let's talk about Brendon.

Brendon Boyd Urie was a character I had created. He was the main character of my first story, the story that made me famous. I somewhat grew up with him, starting the story from his childhood where he had to battle monsters in order to save the world. He wasn't perfect, of course, but he was damn near it.

When I wasn't writing, I was sketching out pictures of him, but I could never seem to get him right. I always made his lips too big or his nose too small. It was frustrating really. I found myself slowly falling in love with him as we grew up together. I found it harder to throw things in his way and then finally, I found myself scraping the whole story line all together and making a new one and gave him a love interest-Cody Rian.

Cody Rian was me in girl form-considering my readers were a majority of my classmates and they were all homophobic pricks. Everyone loved her though and was considered the epitome of perfection. Why couldn't people see me that way? Why?

If I had one wish, I'd wish for the life that I built out for Brendon and Cody. I have complete control over what people say to them in their world. In that world, I know I'd be happy, because I wouldn't be alone. But that won't ever happen. I won't be loved. I won't be happy. I won't be anything, but a username and a loser. Right?