Desire to Survive

It had been two weeks since the little dead girl had appeared at our camp, and over the course of those two weeks, about a half dozen more walkers had shown up at our doorstep. The tin can noise makers proved effective, there being no bites whatsoever amongst our group. Despite this, Shane had gotten more and more touchy on the subject of moving our camp somewhere else.

“We need to get out of here before you kill us, Rick,” He would constantly say, ranting about how something bad was eventually going to happen due to our location. Rick would argue back that our camp was perfect where it was and we were bound to get a few stragglers anywhere we went.

Along with this, Ben announced that our canned food supply was already running low so we had to rely on more and more freshly hunted meat. Although we couldn’t complain about more meat, Daryl and I were the only ones who were sufficient in hunting, and even we weren’t always successful in bringing home the bacon.

Daryl had come into my tent to wake me up at about five in the morning, barking at me to hurry and get dressed to hunt. I was already awake of course, sitting up in bed and attempting to recover from another horrid nightmare. I agreed groggily and in less than thirty minutes, we were hiking quietly up the forested hills behind camp.

I enjoyed hunting, I really did. I might have called myself good at it. But I was nothing compared to Daryl’s skills. He could spot rabbit tracks from twenty feet away, and shoot a squirrel between the eyes from farther back than I could throw a ball. I was astonished every time I hunted with him.

“See that?” He grunted quickly and pointed to the floor, breaking the heavy silence. I looked to where he was motioning.

“Yeah.” I said. Honestly, I had no clue to what he was pointing at.

“Tracks. Looks like raccoon.” He whispered. I strained to see what he saw.

“Come on.” He said to me after a second.

“How old do you think those tracks are?” I whispered, pacing after him through the crunching leaves.

“I reckon they’re ‘bout a few hours old.” He said quietly, loading his crossbow. “Raccoon ain’t the tastiest of meats, but it’s meat.”

It turned out the little beast had headed about half a mile North and had taken residence within the branches of a tree. Of course, Daryl had seen it far before I had, and it hit the floor dead with an arrow stuck in its side before I could process what was happening.

“Why am I so slow?” I grumbled, slinging my bow over my shoulder. He looked at me while retrieving his arrow and putting the plump raccoon into our game bag.

“Eh, you’ll get better eventually.” He told me. “Just need practice.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I asked. He slung the bag over his shoulder.

“Naw.”

What an ass…

So far in our game bag we had a few squirrels, two rabbits, and the raccoon. He told me we could look around for about half an hour more before heading back to camp. Although we were having extremely good luck this particular morning, it was still barely enough meat to sustain a group as large as ours. Plus, I was getting bored.

“Hey Daryl,” I asked after five more minutes of quiet. He slowed his pace a bit.

“Hmm?”

“What was Sophia like?” I asked, looking around in the trees for signs of life. I looked to him and saw him straighten and stiffen his shoulders.

“Sophia?” He asked, barely audible.

“Yeah, Carol’s daughter.” I clarified. He spun around to me with an annoyed look in his eyes.

“Girl, don’t you think I know you’re talkin’ ‘bout? Course I do! I hunted her down for days! Weeks! Just to get that poor girl back to her momma.” He told me, waving his arms for emphasis. I stepped back out of surprise from his tone.

“Yes but, what was she like?” I asked. He slung his bow over his shoulder slowly, still looking at me like he was ticked.

“Quiet, but sweet. Good intentions. Didn’t deserve to be in a world like this.” He finally informed me quietly. “Really liked that little girl. Her momma has nobody now. Shame.”

“She’s taken a liking to Adam.” I said. He turned and started to walk and I followed.

“That’s good. Woman needs someone to care for. Can’t wait on her husband no more cause he’s dead. Asshole deserved it. Now her baby’s gone. Must be in pain.” He told me over his shoulder as we walked.

“So she was turned?” I whispered.

“Mhm, Rick had to shoot her. We were all sad she turned, but the man did what he had to.” Daryl said. I was quiet for another minute.

“Have you lost anyone?” I prepared to hear him yell that it was none of my business, because that’s just how Daryl was. To my surprise though, when he did turn to me, it wasn’t to yell.

“We all have.” He said. “My brother Merle.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I don’t really miss him. Too much like my father.” Daryl shrugged. I was interested in where the conversation was going and how open he was being. I didn’t suppose anyone had heard his life story.

“Your father. What was he like?” I asked. I held my breath. I honestly didn’t know how far I could get without him yelling at me.

“Wasn’t the greatest. Lots of drugs, lots of drinking. No job, no money.”

“That sounds terrible!” I said to him.

“He was abusive to my mother and I.” Daryl shrugged.

“Not Merle?”

“Nah, Merle was his favorite. Took up drugs with him. I’m actually happy they’re gone now.” He snickered. I was silent, not knowing what else to say. I didn’t know Daryl Dixon that well, but I knew for a fact that he wasn’t this open to anyone.

Another ten minutes or so later, the silence of the grey morning was broken again by his gruff voice. “See them mushrooms growin’ by that stump?” He pointed to a large, dark fallen tree with little white sprouts around it. I nodded quietly. “Pick ‘em. Put ‘em in this pocket. They’re edible. I’m gonna go look over there, I think I saw another raccoon.” He informed me.

“Ok.” He handed me the game bag and I set to work plucking the white fungi and putting them into a separate pocket in the bag. I barely heard him sneak off amongst the trees, in search of whatever he saw.

When I finished with the first cluster, I moved to the opposite side of the trunk to another cluster. I was deep in thought about what I had just learned about my hunting partner. His father sounded like a terrible person. Raised him all wrong. No wonder Daryl acted like he did.

There was a little rustle of leaves on the forest floor behind me, but I knew if it were a squirrel or rabbit, it would be gone too fast for me to grab my bow. Instead, I continued my work. The rustling got louder. Daryl must’ve been back from wherever he went.

“Did ya get anything?” I asked, turning around slowly.

But it wasn’t Daryl. A massive walker had snuck up on me and was now leaning to make a grab for me. It hadn’t hissed or grunted like normal walkers did simply because it was missing half its lower jaw and tongue. My heart jumped into my throat and my stomach dropped to my toes, but somehow I couldn’t make out a scream.

I spun out of its way just as it made a dive for me, its massive body making a hefty thud onto the floor. It was up and making another dive for me in seconds and, characteristically, I tripped and rolled onto my back. The huge walker toppled onto me now, and I shoved my forearms against its filthy neck to hold it back.

I was staring into the thing’s foggy yellow eyes and brackish bloody maw as it weakly snapped at my face. The weight of the walker made my chest hurt and his bloody, stiff overalls scraped against my legs. Wispy hair fell in front of its disheveled face. I made a whimper, feeling my arms go numb and beginning to shake.

The walker thrust its weight against my arms, snapping for my face savagely and my arms couldn’t take much more of it. With my ability to scream obviously out of order, I did my best to make some sort of noise. I reached for my knife in my boot with one arm, but the thick fat of the undead blocked my way.

My arms were giving out; they ached and shook wildly. Suddenly, rancid blood sprayed my face as one of Daryl’s arrows busted through the skull of the walker from behind. The massive beast convulsed and went limp on me. Then, I saw Daryl struggling to shove the thing off me. I helped, and when it was pushed aside, he dropped to his knees beside me.

“You alright?” he asked me, mildly concerned.

“I think so.” I whispered, finally finding my voice. Daryl grabbed my chin, lifting it up and checking my neck and shoulders for bites. I sat still, still in shock. He grabbed my arms, looking them up and down then put them down gently.

“Be more careful next time. Let’s go home.” He grunted and helped me up. We were silent for the entire hike back to camp.

When we arrived at the campground, I caught a glimpse of Kaden emerging from his tent with a fishing pole. I was still shaking from the attack so I wanted to run to him and hug him and not let go. To my surprise, he saw me first and briskly walked to where I was standing.

“Hey Oak, how was the hunt?” He smiled, resting the end of the long blue pole next to his foot.

“It was… Fine. Had some good luck, the group will have a bite to eat tonight.” I sighed, avoiding eye contact. If he saw how shaken I was, he’d know something had gone wrong.

“Good. Hey, you wanna go fishing with me? Thought I’d contribute to the food issue a bit.”

“Isn’t fishing more Andrea’s cup of tea?” I asked, itching my cheek. When I pulled my hand away, there was dried blood on it. With a shock, I realized my face was still splattered with smelly walker blood from Daryl’s arrow. I tried to discretely wipe it away.

“Yeah, but she’s on watch. Plus, I’d rather have you there.” He said. It was enough to make me give in. Maybe fishing would calm my nerves. Besides, Kaden would protect me if another walker sprung from behind.

About a fourth of a mile behind our camp, down a shallow, densely vegetated hill, was a wide river that flowed quietly. Our group members would often go down to the river in two’s and three’s to bathe, gather water for cooking, and wash clothes and dishes. It was exceptionally wide and deep, so there were plenty of bass and trout to catch.

“You smell like walker juice,” Kaden chuckled as soon as he cast his line. My heart skipped a beat.

“Do I? I hadn’t noticed. Must be time to do laundry again.” I mumbled, casting my line as well. From the corner of my eye I saw him glance at me.

“We had laundry done yesterday… Oak, did you have a run in?”

“No, what are you talking about?” I asked, avoiding eye contact as best I could. It was sort of hard not to look at Kaden though.

“It’s ok if you did, hun. And I know you did.” He told me. I bit my lip.

“Alright, alright. Yes, I was attacked out on the hunt.” I mumbled with a sigh, sitting on the rocky bank.

“Are you ok?” He asked, sitting down next to me.

“Yeah, just a little shaken. It took me by surprise,” I told him and then looked him in the eyes. “If Daryl hadn’t been there, I’d be dead right now, Kaden.”

“I’m so sorry Oak. A girl like you shouldn’t have to go through all that.” He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I bet it was terrifying.”

“It was! It was so ugly and it stank and I didn’t know what to do. I froze up, I couldn’t even defend myself. I’m just not suited for this kind of stuff.” I said, hanging my head in my hands. Kaden rubbed my back softly. It was the most comfortable thing in the world.

“Nobody should be used to this kind of thing. The dead walking the earth, eating human flesh? Nobody at all should be able to take that kind of thing easily.” He told me, still rubbing my back. “The strong are able to adapt over time. You’re strong, Oak. You just need some time.”

“Thank you. It’s just so hard. And the nightmares…” I sighed. He nodded.

“Those are horrible. I know how often you get them, and how bad they are. When you came into my tent you looked terrified.” He said.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s nothing, Oak. You can come to me whenever you get a nightmare; at least you know I won’t bite,” Kaden laughed. I chuckled.

“No, you wouldn’t. The one I had though. It was worse than the others. It had my father in it.” I told him. He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He was a human, and I was so happy to see him. But when I ran and hugged him, he turned to a walker and began to tear my face off.” I grumbled.

“Oh, Jesus. Honey, I’m so sorry. You poor thing. If you ever need me, I’ll be there.” He cooed and pulled me towards him.

I leaned my head on his shoulder. I felt a million times better. Then again, Kaden always made me feel better.

Back at camp, we arrived just as Glenn and Ben came back from a supply run at a gas station in a small town about thirty miles West of where we were. They only found a two-pack of AA batteries and a couple cans of creamed corn on their run, but told us about another place they planned to hit.

“It’s only a block away,” Glenn hastily told Rick as the group surrounded him. “It’s a huge Wal-Mart. I ran to check if the doors were open, but they were barred from the inside. There could be people in there! Supplies! A new place to stay even,” Glenn smiled. We all smiled and chattered for a minute before Rick shushed us.

“How would we get in?” He asked, his ice blue eyes flashing.

“Roof. There’s a fire escape. It’d be easy!” He told us, practically hopping in excitement. He looked to Rick, suddenly very serious. “But one more thing.”

“What?”

“Walkers. Lots of them. Everywhere on the outside. It was difficult getting there.” He told him. Our chattering died as we thought about the risk it would be going there. We didn’t know what lay inside, and if the place were empty, which it probably was, it would be a waste of priceless gasoline to get there.

That night, I was alone in my tent. Adam had taken up residence in Carol’s tent, so now I had nobody to sleep next to. It was difficult not having someone with me. My mind offered me the idea of faking a nightmare so I could go sleep next to Kaden again, but I laughed at the idea of even considering it, despite how tempting it was. I didn’t want to bombard the man.

As if Kaden had read my mind, a large hand unzipped my tent and both his and Jive’s heads popped through the opening. “Oakley, will you be alright in here by yourself tonight? If not, you can come with me,” He offered with a genuine smile. I curled up in my sleeping bag and bit my lip as I stared back at him.

“I’ll be fine.” I whispered. For a faint second, I saw disappointment flash through his brown eyes and I suddenly felt bad for saying it.

“You sure?” He asked.

I hesitated. “Yes.”