Don't Forget About Me.

When Alex next awoke he already had a smile gracing his lips at the anticipation of seeing the face of the only man he has ever loved, but the smile instantly vanished when Alex realised that he was no longer at home in his comfortable bed.

He was...well...he was nowhere.

He quickly rose to his feet and began to slowly spin on the spot, taking in his surroundings, trying to find any sort of detail in the infinite white. There was no walls, no ceiling – no floor. He was nowhere.

“J-Jack?” He called out, and for a seemingly empty room, Alex’s voice carried as if the place was fully furnished, not a single echo was produced from his voice, just a flat average sound.

“Ah, Alexander. Glad to see you’re finally awake.” The unfamiliar voice caused Alex to spin faster than he’s ever moved before in his life, where he found himself face to face with a middle aged woman whose greying hair was placed on the top of her head in a tight bun. She was wearing reading glasses which were perched on the tip of her nose, along with a long white lab coat which was buttoned up so only the neck of a grey blouse was visible at the top, she was wearing black flats and was carrying a clipboard on which she was furiously writing notes.

When she had finished her extreme note taking, she looked back up at Alex with an expecting stare, it wasn’t condescending, simply curious, but he could tell that she was waiting for him to say something, which he would do if now wasn’t yet another occasion on which his brain refused to produce the words he currently needed. So after a few minutes of arguing with his subconscious that he actually needed to talk to this woman, he managed to stutter out a small sentence.

“W-where am I?” The woman’s lips curved into the smallest smiles at the question as she began to write again before looking back at him.

“You’re in limbo, dear.” She spoke in a soothing tone – almost motherly. But that didn’t stop the words making Alex’s heart pound any less shocking.

Limbo?

He was – he was dead?

That’s what limbo means right? But how – he hadn’t died – he knew he would’ve felt it if he had died – then what? His hands began to shake as he thought of all the possibilities in his head, none of them making any more sense than the last, he refocused his gaze back to the woman waiting patiently in front of him. He took a few deep breaths to calm the tears that were quickly gathering in his eyes before speaking again.

“I- I’m d-dead?” As the words left his mouth Alex’s palms began to sweat at the possibility of his life being over when he hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye to the man he had finally gotten back.

Jack.

How would he handle this? What would he do? Hell, he’d only just moved in, he hadn’t had the chance to put his name on anything, he was going to be homeless again, and it was all Alex’s fault, again. Alex was brought back from his thoughts by the sound of the woman laughing softly. “Why is she laughing” Alex kept thinking to himself, “How is this funny?

“No dear you’re not dead, not yet anyway” Despite the situation, Alex couldn’t help but feel comforted by the woman’s soothing tone, it almost took away from the importance of the words she was saying. Almost.

“What do you mean “not yet anyway”? Who are you? Why am I here?” The anger began to rise within him, this wasn’t fair, why was this happening to him? He tried not to take his anger out on the woman, but when she was the only human – well – only anything for as far as Alex could see, and it was kind of hard to avoid. She stood there and observed him for a few moments, which only made Alex’s blood boil further.

“Speak to me! Why am I here!?” His voice began to crack half way through his demand as his emotions began to get the better of him, he clenched his fists at his sides and willed for the tears to go away as he waited for her answer. She seemed somewhat un-phased by his outburst, but waited for him to calm down all the same.

“Dear, you’re in a coma at Maryland General Hospital. And you have a big decision to make, but first, would you like me to fill you in?” With fear that speaking words would cause him to blow up at a woman that has shown him nothing but kindness, Alex simply nodded his head whilst closing his eyes and exhaling through his nose, only to be greeted when reopening his eyes, by the sight of two black leather chairs that were facing each other and had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The sight startled him, but the shock quickly disappeared as he realised not much should surprise him considering the situation he currently found himself in.

“Please,” she spoke again, “sit.”

She gestured to the chair nearest Alex as she herself took the seat closest to her. Once comfortable, she looked up at Alex with the look of expectancy she had held but a few minutes prior. He was hesitant, but after deciding he really did need to find out what the hell was going on, he slowly lowered himself onto the seat, deciding to perching himself on the edge, in case – for whatever reason – he needed to leave the conversation abruptly.

“Now, would you like me to start with why it is you are in a coma in the first place, dear?” Alex again responded with the smallest nod of his head, to which she sighed and continued,

“Well, let me start by saying, you have been in this condition for two months now, you are stable, but as you are soon to find out, the time you have been unconscious has been rather necessary, but that is a story for later, as you requested, I’ll start from the beginning. I am afraid to say, Alexander,” she made a quick detour from her explanation to briefly glancing at her clip board before looking back at Alex and smiling, “sorry, it says here you prefer to go by Alex, anyway, I’m afraid to say Alex that exactly two months today you were hit by a drunk driver on your journey home from Mr Barakats’ house. It was late – one-thirty-seven-am to be precise – and you had been travelling along the dirt track you often used as a short cut home. Having not expecting anyone else to be on the trail as it is normally deserted, you let your guard down – so to say – and as you were coming up to a T junction the other driver came straight into your door, knocking you unconscious instantly as your car began to roll before resting on the passengers’ side.

“I’m also sorry to say that the other driver survived with minor injuries and after realising the damage he had caused – even in his intoxicated state – restarted his car and left you in your own vehicle where you weren’t found until seven-fifty-two am that morning.

“No one knows who the man who hit you is, and chances are dear he won’t be found, but you have been here ever since that day, and,” the woman smiled at the information she was about to share, “I thought you may like to know, that said Mr Barakat has only left your side once a week over this period of time, and that was only when he has was physically removed in order to maintain his hygiene.”

Alex was taken aback at how detailed this woman’s account of what had happened was, almost like- like she had been there watching...

Alex shook the thoughts from his head as he realised what the woman had just finished saying, “Jack was (is?) here! He’s alive and he’s here, and he cares!” Alex scolded himself for his last thought “Of course he cares, he corrected himself. “he’s your best friend”

The woman allowed Alex time to process the new information before clearing her throat with a small smile gracing her lips to capture his attention. His head instantly snapped forward, and he looked at her like you would expect a student to look at a teacher, waiting; just waiting for their mind to be filled to the brim with facts.

“Now,” she began, “I suppose you would like to know what happens next, and why exactly it is that you are in limbo, am I correct?”

With yet another repetitive small nod, Alex simply replied “Yes.” To which the woman just replied with a small nod of her own and a slight smile before beginning again,

“Well, it seems that we seem to be having a slight problem on Earth, the global population is rapidly increasing, and the higher power is concerned as to how the planet is going to cope if the numbers continue to rise so vastly,” Alex’s face held a look of confusion even greater than the one he had held during his freshman year maths class, the woman simply laughed her soft laugh before continuing,

“Don’t look so confused dear, you’ll understand in a moment. Anyway, as I was saying, the numbers are getting worrying large, and in the past we have been known to let spirits in situations such as yourself return to Earth once their body has healed with no questions asked. But now, with the situation being as it is, we are beginning to monitor who we let back – cruel as it may seem, you must understand it is necessary dear. Do you understand so far?”

“I-I think so.” It wasn’t a lie, as farfetched as it seemed, Alex had allowed himself to become open minded to the happenings he found himself at the centre of, so at this point, Alex believed everything the woman was telling him – or at least the idea behind it.

“Good,” she smiled, “now, maybe I should explain the monitoring process. You see dear, we have to analyse a persons...devotion to living. There are some spirits that we send back who have lost everything important to them, and although we do expect an extreme grieving process ranging from a few months up to a couple of years, some of the spirits we send back – although given another chance at life – simply spend the rest of their living years wallowing in self pity and allowing their chance to go to waste, whereas others realise how precious life really is, and instead of mourning their loss to the extreme of it holding them back at life, they control their loss and instead make the best of what they have left. Which is how we monitor spirits now, we see how well they would cope in such a situation.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex interrupted, “but, uh, what exactly does this have to do with me, if you don’t mind my asking?” There wasn’t any arrogance behind the question, but all the talk of death and second chances had began to make him feel uneasy, and he just really wanted to know why he was here.

“Not at all dear,” the woman smiled, “you see, when you were involved in the accident, although badly damaged, your body could survive if we so decided, but we needed to make sure that you were worthy to return. You are lucky, in that your situation is not as major as others, you suffered no loss back on Earth, it was only you that was injured, but no matter the severity, every spirit must be monitored. So you see, the surroundings in which you have found yourself for the past two months, that was our little way of seeing how well you would cope if you were to have everything of value removed from your life. And I must say Alexan- Alex, we were most impressed with the results you produced us with.

“You are the fastest person to recuperate from such a loss, you made an instantaneous decision to rebuild what you lost, no questions asked, which is what we like to see. Which is why, dear, we’re going to give you the choice on what happens next.” The soft smile never left her lips as she waited for Alex to absorb the bulk of information he had just been presented with, all the while said boy could feel the lump rising in his throat, and an uneasy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

“W-what do you m-mean?” He finally managed to stutter out.

“Well, because you have shown us you are capable of making the most of a terrible situation, we now give you the choice of which life it is you wish to lead. We can send you back to your previous life and you will simply wake up from your current comatose, your body will heal and then you shall carry on as per usual. Or,” Alex couldn’t help but gulp loudly at the option he already knew was coming, “You can continue to live in the Universe in which you have been sharing with the alternative Mr Barakat. If you should chose this option, your body will be deemed too weak to survive, the hospital staff will convince your parents to remove your life support, and you will simply fall asleep, it will be painless on your behalf, and you can return to the apartment in which you fell asleep mere hours ago.”

This was all too much.

He got to choose whether he died or not? What kind of a choice is that? He was surprised when he realised that the decision wasn’t going to be quite as easy as it should have been. He should have told the woman that he was going to go back to Earth, back to his family, and his friends, and Jack. But he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t help but think how much his presence had effected the life of his Jack. His wonderful boyfriend, Jack.

“W-wait, what about Jack? My Jack? Will he- will he remember any of this?” Relief washed over Alex as the woman in front of him gently shook her head ‘no’. He was just about to give his answer when another question rolled off of his tongue instead.

“What about Jack, as in my best friend Jack...does he- does he still have feelings for me?” he began to fidget with his hands as he stared intently at the woman, only to be disappointed as a look of sympathy consumed her elderly features.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, dear. I’m not allowed to share with you any information which may influence your decision.”

“Fuck.” Alex sighed under his breath, causing a slight giggle from his company. His cheeks became slightly pink at the thought of his Mothers reaction if she would’ve witnessed him cursing in front of an elderly stranger. “Sorry” he muttered, to which he received a quiet noise of approval in reply.

“How long do I have to think about this?” He questioned, looking back up to meet her gaze once again.

“As long as you need dear, as long as you are here with me you’re frozen in time, neither here nor there, you have plenty of time, because time does not exist.” Alex simply nodded his head and rose to his feet before strolling a little while away into the eternal white. When satisfied with the distance he had put between himself and his informant, he lowered himself to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them as he rested his chin on his knees and allowed his thoughts to take him.

How could he be expected to make such a decision? Go back to his previous life, with his friends, his family, his best friend, or go back to his alternative Universe where he had no-one but Jack. His Jack.

Sure his Jack wouldn’t remember any of this, but that didn’t matter, because he would remember, and the question is, well, would he be able to go back to being just best friends with his clueless partner in crime?

He sat there thinking through every possibility over and over again, trying to think of some way in which he would be happy with the outcome – selfish as it seems, he just didn’t know if he was ready to lose Jack again – yes, there was a chance that he could return to his previous life, confess his love for the younger man and they could be together just like they had in the alternative Universe, but then again, there was also the possibility that upon confessing his feelings, Jack would tell him that he had gotten over him, and thus potentially ruining any type of friendship they have.

Fuck, why was this so hard?

What seemed like hours later, although it had really been no time at all, Alex finally rose to his feet once again and made his way back to the two chairs, one of which was still occupied by the elderly woman who looked as though she hadn’t move an inch since he had left. He allowed himself to sink into the leather this time as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, finalising his decision in his mind before voicing it.

“I’m ready.” He told her, voice shaking under the pressure.

“And what would you like to do, Alex?” She leaned forward slightly, hands that had long ago abandoned the clip board were now clasped gently in her lap as she awaited his answer.

“I have a request to make first, if I may.” He spoke cautiously, as if scared to provoke a reaction out of the woman who had shown him nothing but compassion from the moment he had arrived here. Her eyes became weary, but she nodded and smiled at him all the same, encouraging him to continue. Alex explained his proposition, and the woman’s eyes filled with love at the request, to which she couldn’t agree faster, causing the first smile of their encounter from aforementioned boy.

“Are you ready to go now, dear?” She asked softly as she rose to her feet, Alex mirroring her actions as he nodded in agreement, eager to complete his task before returning to the place he belonged.

“Okay, all you need to do is close your eyes and focus on the place you wish to be, and when you’re done, close them again, count to three and you will be returned to your desired destination, understand?” She smiled at him lovingly from her position a few feet away from him. He closed the gap between them and pulled the elderly woman into an affectionate hug, with a small nod and a whisper of “thank you.”

He then pulled away before closing his eyes and imagining the first place he needed to be, and upon finishing his task, closed his eyes and found himself in the only place he could ever imagine himself belonging.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of his lover soaking in his appearance, a lazy smile gracing his lips, eyes full of love and adoration.

“Mmm, morning ‘Lex.” Alex couldn’t help but smile, as he placed a soft kiss to his boyfriends’ lips before replying with his own, “Good morning, Jacky.”

“What do you want to do today?” Jack asked him, but Alex already knew exactly what they were going to do. They were going to lie here, in bed, all day, and Alex was going to explain his story to Jack, not leaving out the detail that it was him that he had chosen.

He had chosen his Jack, over his family and friends, and he didn’t regret it one bit.

So that’s what he did, they laid there and embraced each other as Alex recapped the entire ordeal to the younger man – not missing out a single detail, whether aforementioned boy had been present or not – right up to the final conversation Alex had had with his elderly advisor.

“What request did you make?” Jack asked, much like a child being told a bedtime story.

“I requested the opportunity to say goodbye.” Alex replied simply, which only caused Jack to respond with a confused look on his face, to which the older man laughed softly as he expanded his answer,

“I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing my family and friends again, no matter how much I wanted to be with you. So the woman allowed me to return to my body briefly in order to say a final few words to them.” Alex smiled at the memory he had obtained just hours before, completely content with the decision he had finally made.

“And what did you say to them?” Jack questioned again,

“Well when I first woke up, I felt the effects of not being ‘awake’ for two months, and let me tell you, my head was pounding like a bitch. But anyway, the first people I saw were Zack and Rian. When they saw me open my eyes they tried to call for the nurses but I convinced them otherwise and instead told them to call you – the other you – and my parents in, which after much hesitation they did. My Mum looked like she was about to burst out crying, but everyone composed themselves as I cleared my throat as best as I could in order to speak.

“I started with Rian and Zack, I thanked them for being my brothers, for listening to my endless rants and our crappy dick jokes. I especially thanked Rian for being the one to mother us when we got too shit faced to even remember our own names, I told them to look after themselves and you, and I told them that I loved them like family and I would never forget them.

“Then I moved on to my parents, I thanked them for giving me life, and for loving me and supporting me in ever decision I have ever made, and I told them not to be too sad about me leaving, that they should make the most of the time they have left together, because life it the most precious gift there is. And finally I told them to keep in touch with Rian, Zack and you, because I knew you would all need each other.

“And finally, I turned to you, my best friend, my brother, and I simply thanked you for existing, because I wouldn’t be me without you, and I told you I would see you soon, that I would wait for you. Because although you are two Jacks, on two Universes, I know you’re connected, and when his time is over on Earth, I know he’ll join us here. And then I told you I loved you, more than anyone or anything else in the world.

“I think they were all in shock at how well I had managed to speak my thoughts after two months of being unconscious, but in my last few moments their shocked expressions were replaced with those of excruciating heart break, and it took everything in me to not just stay there with them, but I knew I had to return to you. So with a final goodbye and a fuck load of tears, I closed my eyes just like the woman said, and then here I am, with you, right where I belong.”

Tears were slowly streaming down Jack’s face as Alex finished talking, and upon realising this, the older man raised his hand to the younger’s cheek as he used his thumb to wipe the droplets away.

“Why are you crying, Jack?” His voice was soft and soothing, full of curiosity.

“You shouldn’t have given them up for me, ‘Lex.” Remorse seeped through his words, regret at taking the Gaskarths’ son away from them, and he was surprised to see a soft smile make its way on to Alex’s face.

“Did you not just listen to anything I said, love? I wanted to give them up. Yes, my life began with my parents, and it became ever so much better when I met you, Rian and Zack, but it is you my life will end with. We’re going to grow old together Jack.

“In this Universe, I can rebuild my relationship with my parents; I can regain my friendship with Zack and Rian even. But if I were to have returned back to my home Universe, I would have never forgiven myself if I would’ve lost you by attempting to take our friendship even further. So in reality, this was the only option I ever really had.”

Jack leaned forward and exchanged all of his emotions through a tender but passionate kiss. It wasn’t needy, or sloppy. It was full of love, adoration, understanding and comfort.

“I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too, Jack.”