Back 2 Good

Natalia

I wanted to die.

Dinner was supposed to be a happy, relaxed experience with my brother and the people he loved most, and it was at first. I really wanted to avoid The Maine on this trip if I could help it; I wanted that so badly that I actually hid in the bathroom during their set, even though they couldn't see me from where Jayce and I were standing. But because fate was a cruel bitch, I somehow ended up coming into full face-to-face contact with two of its members the very same night anyway. At least it wasn't John. Though I did wonder how long it would take for him to find out that Jayce and I were here. Would Garrett tell him as soon as they got back to their bus?

I seriously hoped not.

Nick could tell that I was in a bad mood. Which, if I was honest, I was being a super bitch. It had come to the point where he had warned Justin and Andrew to just not bother talking to me. He'd told Eric the same thing, but when was Eric ever one to listen? Plus, he thought he could turn my mood around. Most times, he would be right, but this time it was different.

Every waking thought I had seemed to somehow find a connection to the boy on the bus in front of the one I was on. I hated that everything always seemed to go back to him. I hated that it had been months and I still hadn't gotten over him. I hated that he had such an effect on my mood. And I really hated that that, in turn, had a negative impact on my brother and my friends.

I had to stop thinking about him. If only it were that easy.

Tonight was Nick's party-- the one that had been put together by his dear friends in The Maine. We were told by Eric that all of the boys were going to go into downtown of whatever city we were in today and they were going to find a bar where they could get completely wasted. All of this was, of course, after they played a show in a tiny venue that had no air conditioning.

Jayce and I were obviously not attending. I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do less, including swimming in a tank of sharks and bungee jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge without a cord. So our plan was to just sit on the bus, bored to tears, while we waited for the boys to return.

After the boys had finished their load-in and soundcheck, they returned to the bus to spend time with Jayce and me, even though I still wasn't in the best mood. That didn't stop Eric from falling next to me on the couch and lazily draping his arm over my shoulders, leaning in to plant a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I glared at him as I wiped his saliva off my face but he just grinned and started talking to Andrew.

Nick had been in a terrific mood ever since we arrived. He was constantly smiling and I knew it was because Jayce was right there. Anyone could see how in love with her he was and I was happy for the two of them, even though the circumstances involved weren't the greatest. Seeing them cuddling together on the couch across from me only reminded me how unhappy the third person in their triangle was, and how it was kind of my fault for dropping the bomb on everyone like I did. I'd no doubt embarrassed him by telling the whole party how blind he was for not seeing their affair.

I frowned as my mind drifted back to him again and I quickly got up from my spot to put in a movie-- anything to distract myself. The boys ended up commandeering the movie choice, therefore forcing Jayce and I to watch one of the lame action movies they'd forced on me at one of the many Bachelor Nights I had attended.

By the time it was over, the boys had to start getting ready for their show and then they left the bus, leaving Jayce and I alone. We had decided that we couldn't spend all night on the bus again; we would at least have to sneak into the show so that we could drink. The opening bands were always bands that were local to the venue they were playing that day, so they were kind of terrible.

Jayce stood up a little straighter when Rocket took the stage. The entire time they were playing, I looked between them and her. She was practically beaming with pride and Nick looked like he was having the time of his life, just like he always did. Though I think him knowing that Jayce was close by gave him a little extra fire.

After they finished playing, Nick came to join us in the crowd. There were a few people who came up to ask him for pictures, and I took that as my opportunity to get myself one more drink then sneak back to the bus immediately. The Maine was the last band to play and I really didn't feel like sticking around to watch them. Plus, I also didn't want to be a third wheel to my brother and his girlfriend. I stole Nick's Mac from his bunk and went into the back lounge to watch some old episodes of Doctor Who while I waited for everyone to return to the bus.

I had fallen asleep before the first episode was over so when they all came back, loud and obnoxious as ever, it woke me up. The boys were running around trying to put on fresh clothes and get cleaned up so that they could go out and meet fans for a bit before they went out. Jayce joined me in the back lounge, falling down next to me on the couch.

"Why'd you disappear?" she asked, nudging me with her elbow. I just looked at her. It was obvious that I didn't want to stick around to watch The Maine. I'd hidden in the bathroom for their set the first time but this time I just didn't feel like hearing them at all. She knew why I'd retreated to the bus. "What do you say we go get some pizza after the boys leave?"

My stomach growled at the mention of food and I agreed heartily. Unfortunately it was another hour and a half before the crowds finally died down and Nick came in to tell us that they were leaving and would be back in a few hours. Luckily, they had a day off tomorrow, or they'd never have been able to go out. Once we were sure they had all left, we sneaked off the bus and walked three blocks to a New York style pizza place.

We were eating our half supreme, half pepperoni pizza in silence when Jayce suddenly set down her slice and looked up at me. "We have to talk to them, Nat."

My eyes snapped up to her and she was just sitting there looking at me, a soft expression on her face. "I hope you're not talking about who I think you're talking about," I shot back quickly, a scowl on my face. I wondered where this was all coming from, but then I realized that she was probably dwelling on it just as much as I was.

"Yes, I am, and you know I'm right." She crossed her arms over her chest and, for a brief moment, she reminded me of my mother back when she used to scold my brother for his bad behavior.

I shook my head. "What's the point, Jayce? They hate us both."

"I refuse to have this conversation with you again, Natalia! There isn't a person on this entire tour who could ever hate you. The whole fucking mess was my fault, so if they hate anyone, it's certainly me." She was frowning now as if it was all hitting her again. "But, Nat, those boys are some of Nick's best friends. We can't hide from them forever. We have to make peace with them if we're ever going to move on with our lives."

I looked away from her stare and frowned to myself, knowing that she was probably right. I dreaded coming face to face with John, but I knew that the only way for us all to move on was to do exactly that.

Tomorrow was going to be hell.