Holding Onto What I'm Feeling

"Carly?" I heard Bert call. I was leaning against the wall of the ally, trying to catch my breath. I felt slightly better after throwing up, but not much better. I saw Bert appear at the entrance of the ally. "There you are. Are you ok?"

I forced a small smile and looked at Bert.

"I'm fine," I lied. I saw Bert look at the ground. He looked back at me with concern.

"Did you throw up?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "But I'm fine."

"Well," said Bert. "Come back inside the diner and I'll get you some water or something to drink."

I stepped away from the wall.

"No, that's ok," I said, smiling. "I think I'll just go home."

"If you want to go home, at least come back inside so that I can tell Jeph and Amanda you're ok," Bert said. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to seem like a bitch.

He placed a hand on my back and started leading me back to the diner. I reluctantly went back inside, and Bert and I made our way back to the booth and I saw that Jeph and Amanda were still sitting there, both looking worried. As soon as they saw us, Jeph's eyes were back on me and I started feeling sick again.

"Are you ok?" Amanda asked. I nodded my head and forced a smile.

"I'm fine," I said. "But I am feeling a little weak, so I'm going to head home."

I glanced at Jeph. Shit. Why couldn't he stop staring at me?

"Sorry we're going to have to cut this short," said Bert, who still had his hand placed on my back, rubbing it gently. "Maybe we can do this another time."

"Yeah," said Jeph. He still kept his eyes on me. "That would be great."

I now felt like I really needed to throw up. I quickly placed my hand over my mouth and Bert looked at me.

"Shit," said Bert. "Are you feeling sick again?"

I nodded my head.

"Sit down for a second while I get you some water," he said. I could have cried. I just wanted to leave and go home. But I sat down and tried not to look at Jeph. My stomach felt slightly calmer, so I uncovered my mouth.

"So," said Jeph. Fuck. He was talking to me. "Your name is Carly, right?"

I looked at Amanda, then back at Jeph and I nodded my head.

"Where are you from?" he asked.

"New York," I said quietly. Jeph nodded his head and just stared at me intently. I could tell by the look on his face he was trying to figure something out.

"Did you ever used to live here?" he asked after a moment. I was about to answer, when Bert reappeared with a glass of water.

"Here you go, Carly," Bert said, setting a glass of water in front of me.

"Thank you," I said. I took a sip.

"Carly?" Jeph again. I looked at him. "Did you used to live here before? I swear I have seen you somewhere before."

I felt myself tense up and it was becoming harder to breathe.

"I-I," I tried to talk, but it was becoming increasingly hard with the lack of breath. I looked at Bert. "I c-can't breathe."

And then everything went black.