Holding Onto What I'm Feeling

Jeph's P.O.V.

I can't fucking believe this. Carly has been back for a little while now...And Amanda knew! She knew. She even told me that Carly was back, but I hadn't believed her and then she told me she lied about Carly being back. Why didn't anyone tell me anything? I was so mad.

"Jeph?" I turned around quickly to see Amanda standing behind me looking worried.

"What?" I asked. She looked down before looking back at me.

"I want to apologize for lying to you," she said.

"Why did you do it?" I asked. "Why did you lie?"

"Well Carly didn't want you to know," Amanda said. "And I guess I was being a bit selfish. I didn't want you to know Carly was back so that I'd have a chance with you."

I shook my head and walked past Amanda, back into the hospital. I walked up to the desk.

"Can I see Carly Manning?" I asked.

"Hold on," the secretary said. She got up and walked off somewhere. A few minutes later, she came back with the doctor from earlier.

"Hi," said the doctor, outstretching his hand for me to shake. "I'm Dr. Greene."

"Jeph," I said.

"Ok," said Dr. Greene. "Well, you're in luck because Carly is awake now."

"Good," I said. I wanted to talk to her immediately.

"I just want to ask that you don't do or say anything that could stress her out in any way," said the doctor. "She had a panic attack, if you were wondering. We really don't want her to have another one right now."

I just nodded my head.

"I think I'll wait a bit to see her," I said. I wanted answers, but I wasn't going to risk Carly having another panic attack. "Things are a bit complicated right now."

"Ok," said Dr. Greene. "If anyone else does want to see her, she's in room 119. They can just go right in."

I nodded my head and went back into the waiting room. I plopped down next to Bert.

"You can go and see her if you want," I said. "She's in room 119."

"Ok," he said. "So. You want to tell me why you're so upset?"

"I'll tell you some other time," I said. "It's complicated."

I saw Bert nod his head and stand up.

"Bert," I said. He looked at me. "Don't ask her about it. She had a panic attack and I don't want her to get stressed out and have another one."

"Ok," he said. I watched Bert walk away and thought about how I was going to confront Carly. I wondered what was going to happen now.