Holding Onto What I'm Feeling
"I really need to talk to you about something."
The next day, I felt brave enough to go out without a hat or sunglasses. As I left my apartment building I saw Amanda walking towards me. She smiled at me when she got closer.
“So this is where you live,” she said. “I’ve been hoping to run into you since I last saw you. You didn’t give me your number or address.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, giving Amanda an apologetic look.
“It’s ok,” she said smiling. “Hey, are you busy?”
“No,” I said. Which was true. I was really just going out to walk around.
“Good,” she said, smiling again. She looked a bit nervous too. “I really need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh, ok,” I said. Maybe that was what she was nervous about. “Do you want to go talk up in my apartment?”
“Sure,” she said. I turned around to head back into my apartment building. Amanda followed behind me to my apartment. I unlocked my apartment door and walked into the small living room.
“Have a seat,” I said, gesturing to the small couch I had. “Are you thirsty?”
“No,” Amanda said. “I’m fine.”
I sat on a chair I also had in the living room, facing the couch and Amanda.
“So,” I said. “What do you need to talk to me about?”
“Well,” she said. Now her nervousness was more noticeable. “This is kind of hard to bring up. You know you’re still my best friend and I wouldn’t do anything that would effect you unless you were ok with it, right?”
I nodded my head.
“Ok,” she said, taking a deep breath. “When you left, I started spending more time with Jeph. Getting to know him and helping him try and feel better. It took a while, but he finally started to not be as down about it. He started getting over you. And I noticed I felt differently about Jeph. I fell in love with him. I was going to ask him out that day I saw you in the diner. But then I got scared. I was worried Jeph knew you were back and that I wouldn’t have a chance with him. But then you told me you hadn’t told him you were back yet. Now, I’ve been thinking about, and I still want to ask Jeph out. I just want you to be ok with it.”
I just stared at Amanda. I had my hands clasped tightly together on my lap and I could feel my throat tightening.
“Carly?” said Amanda. “Are you ok?”
I forced a smile.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m fine.”
“Do you care if I ask Jeph out?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“No,” I lied. “Go ahead.”
Amanda smiled at me.
“Thank you so much!” She jumped off the couch and hugged me. “It means so much to me that you’re ok with this. I gotta go now, but now that I know where you live I’ll probably see you soon.”
“Great,” I said. I got off my chair and followed Amanda to my apartment door.
“See you later,” she said as she opened the door.
“Bye,” I said, smiling. I closed the door after Amanda had left and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and felt a tear slide down my cheek. I’m so stupid. I should never have left Jeph.
“So this is where you live,” she said. “I’ve been hoping to run into you since I last saw you. You didn’t give me your number or address.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, giving Amanda an apologetic look.
“It’s ok,” she said smiling. “Hey, are you busy?”
“No,” I said. Which was true. I was really just going out to walk around.
“Good,” she said, smiling again. She looked a bit nervous too. “I really need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh, ok,” I said. Maybe that was what she was nervous about. “Do you want to go talk up in my apartment?”
“Sure,” she said. I turned around to head back into my apartment building. Amanda followed behind me to my apartment. I unlocked my apartment door and walked into the small living room.
“Have a seat,” I said, gesturing to the small couch I had. “Are you thirsty?”
“No,” Amanda said. “I’m fine.”
I sat on a chair I also had in the living room, facing the couch and Amanda.
“So,” I said. “What do you need to talk to me about?”
“Well,” she said. Now her nervousness was more noticeable. “This is kind of hard to bring up. You know you’re still my best friend and I wouldn’t do anything that would effect you unless you were ok with it, right?”
I nodded my head.
“Ok,” she said, taking a deep breath. “When you left, I started spending more time with Jeph. Getting to know him and helping him try and feel better. It took a while, but he finally started to not be as down about it. He started getting over you. And I noticed I felt differently about Jeph. I fell in love with him. I was going to ask him out that day I saw you in the diner. But then I got scared. I was worried Jeph knew you were back and that I wouldn’t have a chance with him. But then you told me you hadn’t told him you were back yet. Now, I’ve been thinking about, and I still want to ask Jeph out. I just want you to be ok with it.”
I just stared at Amanda. I had my hands clasped tightly together on my lap and I could feel my throat tightening.
“Carly?” said Amanda. “Are you ok?”
I forced a smile.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m fine.”
“Do you care if I ask Jeph out?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“No,” I lied. “Go ahead.”
Amanda smiled at me.
“Thank you so much!” She jumped off the couch and hugged me. “It means so much to me that you’re ok with this. I gotta go now, but now that I know where you live I’ll probably see you soon.”
“Great,” I said. I got off my chair and followed Amanda to my apartment door.
“See you later,” she said as she opened the door.
“Bye,” I said, smiling. I closed the door after Amanda had left and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and felt a tear slide down my cheek. I’m so stupid. I should never have left Jeph.
♠ ♠ ♠
I'm really sorry about taking so long to update! Please forgive me? Feedback please?~Sally