Can't Believe That I Survived

* Anna POV *

"So, tell us more about your obsession with Ronnie Radke, Anna." Jack smirks evilly as I turn my eyes away from the road to glare at him.

"Shut up. I'm not obsessed." I snap as I pull my car into the carpark of The Palm - my favorite restaurant. It's damn expensive, though. 
"He's way older than me, and he's not even my type."

Jane stifles a giggle. "Seriously, An? You sooo areee! You write to him like, everyday!"

I let out an aggravated sigh and unbuckle my seatbelt. As I get out of the car and step out onto the concrete, I slam the car door as hard as I can.
"I don't send half the stuff I write, so why should it matter?"

I walk hastily to the restaurant, the two siblings on my heels. 
But before I can open the door, long arms stretch around my waist from behind me. 

"Aw, come on Anna. We're just having some fun." Jack's soft voice seeps into my ears, his chin resting on my head.

I scrunch up my face. "Fine. Stop pestering me, though. It may be fun for you, but not me," I spin around to look at him as he raises his head off mine. "Okay?"
He nods slowly, before licking his lips and raising an eyebrow under the abundance of hair covering them.
"What is your type, anyway?" 

I give him a questioning frown, but before I can say anything Jane interrupts by groaning loudly and pushing past us, opening the restaurant door. 
What was that?

"I'll do it myself then, shall I?!" she huffs, not bothering to hold the door open for us.
We laugh and enter the building, the distinctive smell of steak and seafood welcoming our noses.

We check in and find our table, but as I am being seated I freeze. 
My heart starts beating faster and faster when the figure's hazy eyes meet my gaze, and then flick away instantly.
I suddenly feel a surge of hate rush through my body as the familiar face become's one of nervousness and regret.

"...Are you alright An?" Jane questions as she sits, obviously concerned. 

I shake my head slowly."You see that guy over there?" Her and Jack both follow my angered glare and give me confused looks, but nod anyway.

"He's the biggest ass on the face of Earth." I say simply, then sit down.
"Who is he?" Jack asks curiously, placing his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.

"He's my ex."  Their jaws drop simultaneously.

"That's David? I was not expecting that," Jane states, her eyes traveling from his sand colored shoes, to his light washed out jeans, to his plain white t-shirt, and finally landing on his shaggy light blonde hair. "What did he do?"
 
You mean who," correct. "cheated on me with some whore," I speak in a bland tone. "But anyway! We're here to have a good time, so why don't we just forget ab-"

"Anna?" I cringe as a familiar voice hits my ears. 

"David." I turn to look at the speaker, my head filling with so many memories. 
David's grey eyes bore into mine, none of us saying anything for a few seconds.

"You look... Amazing. I haven't seen you since..." he trails off and his eyes flutter close as draws out a deep sigh. "I'm so, so, so, sorry. You don't even know h-" 

"I don't want to hear it, David. It's been years. Just forget it. Move on, like I have." I fold my arms over my chest.

His face becomes saddened and he looks at his shoes. "I can't. For 2 years I've been trying and failing. I lost the most beautiful girl in the world. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I was stupid." 

"You can apologize as much as you like, but I don't care. I don't love you anymore. You lost my trust, and that's something that can't be replaced." 

A look of defeat takes over his features as he starts to walk away. "O-okay. I'll... G-get going then..." he stutters, his voice cracks at the end as he makes his way over to the small group of people he was with, then out the door.

"Jesus Christ, An! How could you do that to him? He was so sweet!" Jane orates, clearly disgusted with my actions. 
How could he do that to me, more like. 

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Jack playing with his phone, not seeming to be paying attention to us.  

I sigh.
"You don't know the story..."
Her golden eyes motion for me to go on.

Long story short Jane, I walked in on him screwing his sister's best friend.
"Well-"

An angry grunt comes from the other side of the table. "Can't it wait for another day?" Jack snaps as he looks up from his phone, annoyance audible in his voice. "Let's just order some food and have a good time. Yeah?" he smacks his phone onto the table and looks away from me and Jane's shocked stares.

"What?" he asks carelessly.

"I think someone's jealous." Jane whispers to me with a smirk, but loud enough for her brother to hear.

Jack glares at Jane and shakes his head at her vigorously. Her grin just grows and she winks.

I'm his best friend, he's not supposed to be jealous. He must have a girlfriend anyway. 
That I've never met, nor heard him talk abut.
A secret one...? 
No. He's my best friend. He wouldn't keep that from me. Why would he, anyway? I've met his past girlfriends before. So why keep this girl a secret, for 4 years? Maybe he's had more than one. What happened to his last girlfriend, anyway? I haven't seen her in years.
Maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend. 
What the hell has he been doing for 4 years?
Maybe Jane knows what's going on.

So many ideas run through my head.  I need to find out. 

"What's wrong, Jack?" I lower my voice and scoot up to him. 
Usually Jack doesn't get so emotional over... Well, nothing that I'm aware of. Yet.

His shoulders slump and he turns his eyes to the table. 
"Something didn't exactly go to plan. Don't worry about it." he says mysteriously. I can't not worry about this. What's he hiding?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The entire week Jack has been acting strangely, and it's really concerning me. I want to know what he's hiding. I've been trying to get through to him but he won't open up.

He seems majorly pissed off. Or hurt. Disappointed? Tense? That something that went wrong must have been extremely important to get him in this state. 

He doesn't say goodnight anymore before he locks himself in his room.
He doesn't sit down for breakfast, just takes his bowl and isolates himself in his room for the whole morning before going to work.
He doesn't try to talk to Jane or me.
This sudden mood swing is starting to annoy me.

I bang my fist on the hard wood door. "Jack! Please talk to me! Open the door!" 

My ears pick up a slight muffled reply, but the door remains closed. 

I tap the wood a few more times.
"Come on, Jack. You've been acting like this for a week already. I'm really worried. I've never seen you like this." 

Silence.

I give up and slide down the door and onto the floor.
I cross my arms over my knees and rest my head between them.

I'm genuinely worried about this. Never, ever, in the 4 years I've known this boy, have I seen him this way. Sure, he's quiet, but not like this. 

I don't know what to do. I just sit, looking at the wall in front of me.
"You're hurting me..." I murmur at it but aiming at Jack, knowing he can't hear me but still wanting him to. Why is this boy so difficult?

I decide not to aggravate him any further than he seems already, and slowly get off the floor and make my way to my own bedroom to get ready for work.

I was living in Mr. Harold, the grocery store owner's apartment for about 5 months, before my Auntie Sal came to the rescue.
Auntie Sal had lived with my mother for her whole childhood, but since she is only a few years younger than mom, she was very well aware of her sister's drug and alchohol habits that had started in her early teens.
Mom moved out by choice when she was 16, and Sal never saw her again.

Before she tracked me down and took me in, I had never met her. Nevertheless, raised me like her own child, and her biological kids accepted me into their family. 

That's also how I met Jack. Mary, Auntie Sal's daughter, who is a year older than me - seventeen at the time - was Jack's girlfriend, and he'd used to visit us regularly. We became good friends, and when Mary dumped him we became closer than ever.

At eighteen years old, I was extremely independent and quite bright, considering the 4 years of school I had lost, and seeing as Auntie Sal's husband was a lawyer and we were a wealthy family, she bought my café as a moving-out gift. I was fucking stoked, to say the least.

The whole day I couldn't stop thinking about Jack, and I've realized that Mary was one of the only two girlfriends I'd known about. I can't understand why.
He's the nicest guy I've met. Ever. Not even David was as sweet, caring, or sensitive.

"Mother, where are you today? You took a piece of me the day you went away." 
Ronnie's soft voice drifts through my car's speakers as I quietly sing along.
I'm not the greatest singer, but I still enjoy it. 

Ronnie hasn't written back yet. 
I mentally slap myself. Really? I actually think he's going to write to me again? Pfft. 

As I pull up to our flat, I read the time on the digital clock beside the steering wheel. 6:47 pm. My flatmates should be home, that's if one in particular even left his room today. 

I roll my eyes as my thoughts lead back to the 'Jack situation'. I shake my head and step out of the car.

The strong scent of garlic bread enters my nostrils when I open the front door. I always loved Jane's cooking. 
Someday I should turn the café into a restaurant. Jane's already hired as head chef. 

"Evening, Mizz! Ai hope-a you laike ze Itialiano cuisine!" Jane's attempted Italian accent makes me giggle, as I follow the delicious smell into the kitchen. 

"Smells wonderful, Jane! You're such a good cook." I say enviously, inhaling deeply as she pulls a tray of garlic bread out of the oven.  
"You better quit your stupid job right now and become a chef!" 

She puts on an offended look and places her tray on the bench to cool down.
"Journalism is important, An! Without it, you wouldn't know of any rapists lurking about! You wouldn't know what the weather was like tomorrow! You..." she pauses for a minute, and then shows a devilish grin. "You wouldn't now where Ronnie was-"
"Okay, okay! You've made your point." she laughs as I cut in quickly.

I glance at the steaming pot of bolognaise sauce and my mouth waters. "When am I going to be able to devour this fantabulous meal?" 

"As soon as mopey-pants gets his ass out here." she rolls her eyes as she hands me knives, forks and plates to set the table with.

"Oh yeah, about that. Do you know what's going on with him? I'm really concerned. It's not like him." I frown, placing everything neatly on the glass table-top.

She just shrugs. "Remind me why I'm even living with him now? He's twenty-four. He doesn't need his sister taking care of him his whole life." 

So she just ignores my question entirely? I mentally roll my eyes. Usually Jane is the one I come to for information, she never shuts up. Maybe she genuinely doesn't know anything. I decide not to question her further, so I just pout in thought.

"Will you get the teenager out of his cave so we can eat?" 

I nod and trudge down the hallway, stopping at my room on the way to take off my coat and shoes.

I press my ear up to the wood of his door before knocking.
"Just- yeah... Look, can you just do this for me? It's all I'm asking- Come on...How much? ...I don't have that!" 

Is he on the phone? Who's he talking to? 

An exasperated sigh comes from the other side of the door.  "Please- I've told you! ...Yes! No, I can't pay for it all-Jesus Christ!" A muffled crash comes from inside.

...?
I decide to stop being too nosy do what I came here for.
"Jack. Dinner's ready." I knock a few times.

"-I'll call you later... Mmhm. Just think about it, yeah? Thanks." 
"Fucking hell." I pick up another quiet bump and an annoyed voice.

The door opens and there stands a shirtless Jack. I have seen him half-naked so it's nothing new to me, but I couldn't help but look...

"Done staring?" Jack snaps and pushes past me. What the hell?

I hope it's not illegal, what he's trying to get. No, Jack doesn't do drugs. What else would it be? Maybe he didn't get a shirt he ordered. But he has enough money for a shirt, no doubt.
I'm completely stumped. Jack isn't a huge money spender nor does he have anger issues. This is really getting to him.

I might ask him tonight. Or tomorrow.