Don't You Want the Way I Feel for You?

“Hunnie, can you stop?”

“No.” Darren replied and he continued to the pace back and forth in my living room. Lily and I had set up our Christmas tree earlier this morning and Darren and I were working on getting it decorated. Well, we had been until Darren got up and started pacing for some unknown reason.

“Dar, seriously, why are you pacing?” I said while hanging an ornament on the tree. He was starting to freak me out.

“Because I’m nervous.”

My hand paused over the box of ornaments and I looked up at him in concern.

“Nervous about what?”

“I have to tell you something.”

“You’re nervous because you have to tell me something. Okay I better buckle of for this one.” I turned around so I was facing him from where I was sitting on the floor by the tree. He just kept pacing.

“Darren.”

Pacing, still, back and forth.

“Hunnie, seriously what is it?”

Still pacing.

“Darren if you don’t stand still and tell me what it is you need to tell me, so help me I will throw away your 40th anniversary edition DVD of Mary Poppins.”

He finally stopped and looked at me in horror. Seriously?

“Talk.” I said narrowing my eyes.

He sighed and sat down in front of me on the floor. He started fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Darren…” I pleaded.

“Okay, okay. Alright…um…shit…”

“Darren what did you do?”

“Nothing! Seriously nothing I didn’t do anything it’s not something like that.”

“Okay if it’s not something like that then what is it?”

“Alright, I’m leaving.”

“Leaving where?”

“Here, California. I’m leaving California.”

I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. What did he just say?

“You’re leaving California…you’re leaving me? Are you breaking up with me?”

“What!? No! NO! That’s not what’s going on right now. I’m not leaving permanently just for a few weeks.”

“Why?”

“I’m..well…I’m going to be…on broadway.” He said breaking into a wide smile.

“Wait….you’re going…and…oh my god!” I said jumping up

“Darren! How long have you known this why didn’t you tell me?!?! This is amazing! God, Broadway I can’t believe it.” I said beaming

“I’ve only known for a little while but I wanted to wait before telling you because well I want to ask you something.”

“Ask me what?”

“Okay so,” he paused and raked his hands nervously through his curls causing them to become even more unruly.

“Darren, relax, it’s just me remember?”

“Right right I know I just, I don’t want you to get freaked out and I don’t want to push things and I just um-“

“DARREN.SPIT.IT.OUT.” I said raising my voice in frustration

“IWANTYOUTOCOMETONEWYORKWITHME!” he said loudly.

“Wait you want what?”

He sighed, “I said, I…I want you to come with me, to New York.”

“Darren, are you…are you serious?”

“Yes. I’m only there for a three week run and I leave the Monday before Christmas to start rehearsing. I know it’s sudden but I talked to Ryan about it and he’s pushed all my scenes up so we could film before I go and he said he could do the same for you since I asked about you coming with me.”

“Hun, just, okay, slow down for a second.”

Darren looked like he was ready to pass out due to how heavy he was breathing and how fast he was talking. He also had a mischievous smile on his face.

“You’re going to be on Broadway for a three week run, with rehearsals starting in two weeks?”

“Yes.”

“All of your scenes have been pushed up for shooting so you can do this.”

“Yes.”

“And…you want me to go with you.”

“Yes!” he said with a big smile on his face.

“Darren as wonderful and amazing as that sounds, you’re going to be so busy. Rehearsing and then eight shows a week, you wouldn’t even notice I was there sweetheart. My staying here while you’re there wouldn’t make much of a difference.” I said sadly

“Well you would be pretty busy too I mean you’ll have rehearsals and an eight show a week schedule as well.”

What did he just say?

“Wait…what?”

“Alright so this is probably the best Christmas gift I could ever think of.”

“Darren I’m not following.”

“When the casting agency of How to Succeed contacted me about doing the show I mentioned this great new comer we had here on Glee and they said yes they were familiar with her. I said that I would love to do the show and I would love even more for her to come out and do the run with me as a member of the company.”

“Darren…” I said as the pieces started coming together

“So my agent, called your agent, and then they both called the New York people and well, it’s all settled if you say yes and sign your name.” Darren pulled a thick stack of papers out of his bag, contracts.

“If I say yes to…what exactly?”

“Autumn…”

“Yes…” I said trying to hold back my screams of joy.

“Will you come be on Broadway with me?”

I think my heart just stopped.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and tackled Darren. I was laughing, I was crying, I think I almost broke Darren’s arm.

“You did, and my agent, and yours called, and Ryan and my schedule and oh my god are you real?”

Darren chuckled and said, “Yes, pretty certain I’m real and seriously everything’s set. You just have to sign…”

“GIVE ME THE PEN OH MY GOD.”

Darren let out a loud laugh and handed me the pen and the contracts.

“Have my agent and all my legal reps looked at this?” I said with the pen hovering over the dotted line.

“Yes they did, they’re just waiting on you.”

“Well okay!” I smiled. I signed on the appropriate lines and looked up eagerly at Darren.

“A Broadway baby at its finest.” He joked. I got up and wrapped my arms around him. He started rubbing small circles on my back.

“I can’t believe you did this.” I whispered

Darren pulled back and smiled down at me, “I just…I don’t want to be away from you for that long. Besides, what could be better than achieving my dreams while you achieve yours right beside me?”

“Did you know that you’re perfect?” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Babe, don’t cry.” He said and held me tighter

“I’m crying because I’m happy I swear.”

“I love you sweetheart, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Darren. I love you too.” I placed a light kiss on his lips and he looked back at me with laughter in his eyes.

“What?” I said

“Oh nothing, I’m just excited for New York, because this is not your only Christmas gift.”

“Darren how could you possibly give me anything else?”

“Oh you’ll see….”

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“You know I’ve never been in New York for the holidays?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes I am!” I laughed while I started transferring pairs of socks from my suitcase to the dresser drawer. Darren and I had gotten in around 2 am that morning. We had opted for a red eye so we could get in, sleep for a while, and not lose one of our days off before our rehearsals started on Monday. We had gotten to our suite that we’d be staying in for our time in New York and immediately passed out on our huge comfy king sized bed. It was now right around ten AM and we had ordered some breakfast and were finally unpacking.

“Your family never took you to see the tree? I mean Rockefeller Center, Toys R Us, Central Park, The Rockettes, none of it?” Darren said looking horrified.

I shrugged my shoulders while I hung up a few dresses and sweaters in the closet.

“Well, we’ve always lived in California, my whole family lives up and down the state and we’ve never really had reason to come to New York.”

“God, I mean, wow.”

“For a Broadway lover I’ve had to stick to national tours and LA productions. To be honest I’ve never seen a Broadway show in New York.”

“You don’t say…”

“And that’s so crazy that I’m going to be in one before seeing one. Yeah so I guess I’m kind of a New York newbie, so much to see and do in the next month.”

“There certainly is…”

“Why the mysterious tone sir?”

“No reason.” He said smiling.

“I know you’re lying but for now I don’t care. I feel gross and grimy I need to shower before breakfast gets here.”

“Okay, love you go shower. I’m going to finish unpacking and make some calls to my agent and our parents letting them know we got in okay.”

“You have my mom and dad’s number?”

“Oh please, Claire, Robert and I are like best buddies now.”

“Weirdo….”

I made a face at him and went into the bathroom to shower. The fact that my parent’s totally adore Darren makes me smile so much. We had gone to have dinner with them a few days after Darren told me about my huge Broadway Christmas surprise and they’d been totally thrilled by Darren. It’s like he’s already a member of the family.

“Maybe someday…”

I took my shower and then put on one of the hotel’s plush white robes. I was just finishing drying my hair when I heard a faint knock on the door. I turned off the blow dryer and quickly ran a brush through my hair. I opened the door to see Darren standing behind a cart with silver dishes and a pot of coffee on it.

“Food!” he exclaimed.

“Oh good I’m starving!” I said stepping out of the bathroom.

“You wanna get dressed before we eat?”

“No I’m fine.” I said sitting down at the table and started in on my French toast. Darren just stood and stared at me.

I tossed my hair behind my shoulders to avoid getting it in my breakfast and looked over at him when I noticed he was still standing there looking at me.

“Problem?” I said laughing

“You’re going to sit there like that and eat breakfast with me?”

“Am I offending you with my lack of makeup or something?” who put Darren in jerk mode?

“Um no but you’re going to drive me crazy with the lack of clothing. Don’t think I don’t know what’s under that robe…” he said smirking at me as he sat down across from me. I blushed deeply and looked down at my food.

“Darren…”

“I’m just being honest.” He said still smirking at me from behind his coffee cup.

“I’m going to eat my breakfast and ignore you.”

“Okay…”

I jumped when I felt his hand sliding up my inner thigh. My knee hit the underside of the table with a loud thud.

“Jesus that hurt!” I said glaring at him.

“What are you looking at me like that for? I didn’t do anything I’m all the way over here.” He said innocently.

“Oh don’t even start Mr. Perfect goody two shoes.”

He laughed and went back to eating his eggs. I finished my breakfast and went to go get dressed.

“We’ll see just how innocent you are later tonight.” I said over my shoulder. I heard Darren choke a little on his coffee and smiled with satisfaction.

To be honest I’ve been considering sleeping with Darren for a while now. I really do love him and I can see a bright future with him, but I don’t want to push him. I know how much he’s been hurt and I don’t want to ask him to do something he’s not ready for. All in good time I suppose.

.

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Darren and I spent the day being total New York tourists. We walked around Times Square, saw the Christmas tree, went ice skating in Rockefeller Center and had lunch as The Hard Rock Café. We were stopped a few times by fans to sing autographs and take pictures and they told us they were all so excited to see How to Succeed. Darren and I headed back to our room to freshen up and decide what we were doing that night. I stepped of the bathroom in my towel and started going through the clothes I bought.

“Dar, what should I wear?”

He appeared from his bathroom on the other side of the room wearing a shirt and tie.

“Oh okay dressy it is.”

“I’m taking you out tonight.”

“To where may I ask?” I said smiling.

“Dinner and a show perhaps?”

“Darren, everything is sold out.”

“Oh really? Then I guess these aren’t fifth row center orchestra tickets for wicked and front row orchestra tickets for Jersey boys.”

“What!?” I squealed.

“That’s right baby, dinner and Wicked tonight and lunch and Jersey Boys tomorrow.”

“I can’t even…this…and you…I just…oh my god.”

“Put on the one shoulder black dress. You look stunning in it.”

I walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“You completely and totally spoil me.”

“It’s because I love you, and I’ll keep loving you until you won’t let me anymore.”