Our Life, Our Girl

Dean had taken me to museum after museum. He took me everywhere even in the shitty weather. He even took me ice skating. I had to beg him to get on the ice, but when he did he was better then me. He said the ice skating was only because he still was drawing me naked on Friday's. I tried not to think about that on any other day other then Friday.
Today, he was standing outside of my class with the face telling me he'd been trying to get a hold of me and couldn't. That happened frequently. My phone was either buried in the depths of my bag or off or both.
"Hey," I said after bolting out the door when class was dismissed. Since he didn't catch my by surprise, this time, I was able to mask some of the excitement I felt knowing he was here. To see me. Without me knowing. I didn't want to scare him off, but he made me happy and excited.
"I have a favor," he said to interrupt my thoughts of excitement.
"Sure what?" I asked as I headed towards the exit. I was done with class today.
"It's a big favor," he said and I nodded.
"What is it?" he caught my arm and dragged me away from the bus stop I was headed for. Of course his car.
"Sam is at Stanford," he told me.
"Yes I know this Dean," I said. He usually didn't ask favors so I was surprised.
"He can't stay where I stay. They do drugs and some are on parole," he told me opening the door to his car.
"So you want him to stay with me?" I asked and he winced.
"I don't ... I just ... he already bought the ticket because he knew if he'd asked first I'd say no and it's only three days and I-"
"Dean, my apartment is open to you and your brother," I said without thinking. I wanted Dean there. I wanted him there permanently but I couldn't say that. Dean talked about Sam all the time and I knew he wasn't a bad person. "He can stay." Dean sighed relieved and started driving towards my apartment.
"You need a new couch," he then said and I looked at him.
"Why?"
"Or six air mattresses."
"What?" I asked and he shrugged and parked. He grumbled something and I found myself following him up to my apartment and then having him shove his hand into my pocket to fish out my keys. I blushed and he thankfully didn't notice. He lay down on my couch which he barely fit on.
"See?" he said and I set my stuff down.
"See what?" I was lost.
"I barely fit," he said and I sat at the counter and pulled out some of my homework.
"I know ..." I said still unsure where he was going with this.
"Sam is a viking," he said and I shook my head.
"A what?"
"A moose," he said and I went and stood over him.
"What on earth are you talk about?" I asked and he stared up at me with green eyes. Worried green eyes. My gaze slipped to his plump, damp lips in time to see his tongue wet them again. I couldn't stop staring.
"My brother is taller then I am. He won't fit," he finally blurted out and I was able to turn my attention back to his eyes.
"You could have said that at first," I told him with a smile. He grumbled something else. "How are we supposed to get a couch here?" he shrugged.
"I've got money though."
"Okay, but do you have a truck or something?" I asked and he nodded. "Oh you do?"
"My friend said I could use his pickup."
"When is your brother coming?"
"He should get into O'Hare around dinner Thursday, so you'll be at work, but he'd eat there. He likes lame food like that. Rabbit food," he said and looked up at me. "Is that okay?" I was caught off guard. Dean just did things and either waited for me to say no, which I never had to do, or have me say way I wanted to do. Never had he asked. I loved that he didn't hesitate. He did was he wanted or did what I wanted.
"It-it's fine," I stuttered. His smile showed relief.
"Can we get one now? And I think a pull out would be best."

The truck's engine was loud and the Led Zeppelin was cranked louder as I scribbled art history notes in the passenger seat. He was driving to Ikea because the couches were cheap and in stock. Therefore I had decided to take my homework with me. I could feel him watching me as we drove, but I pretended not to.
We'd taken the yellow line out to the suburbs where his friend Ash met us with the truck. Ash eyed me but said nothing as Dean shooed me into the truck. We didn't have much time because I had work in a few hours.
"Finish?" he asked as we parked. I shrugged.
"I take shitty notes regardless," I told him. Half the time I couldn't even read my own writing. I needed these notes though because we could use them on the test. I found it hard to care about art history though. I wanted to paint, not learn about it.
"At least you take notes. I never did," he said in attempt to lighten the mood but I just shrugged. He took that moment to cut the engine and drag me into the brightly colored store. It reminded me of Legos.

"Come on Cas we got the couch and you gotta go," he dragged me back to the couch.
"I don't want to go to work," I whined as we got in line to purchase it. I had been having fun running around and playing.
"We will come back another day," he said as I sulked. The couch we got was simple and cheap and pulled out to a bed. "When do you get off work?"
"Eleven," I told him and he nodded.
"I'll get you and bring it to your apartment then. You can sleep or whatever though. I'll be quiet," he said and I laughed. I could be exhausted and still find it hard to sleep knowing he was wandering around my apartment.

I lay with my head at the foot of my bed watching Dean through the open bedroom door. I was so tired. When he was taking the old couch upstairs to this guy Chuck I had been trying to study more only to be woken up by Dean and told to go to bed. Now I was watching him through half closed eyes as he finished fixing the new couch.
"...Cas ... gonna go now ... Cas."
"Hmm?" I murmured not opening my eyes. I felt the blanket being pulled over me.
"...not your pillow Cas."
"Stay," I mumbled.
"I'm gonna go now ... Thursday ..."
"Stay," I said louder and opened my eyes part way. He was in the doorway with a small smile.
"Goodnight Cas, go to sleep," he said and then he was gone.

************************

"You alright Cas?" Taylor asked. I had barely said anything all night. I got a D on my art history test. My notes were fine, they were just no help. The teacher didn't like the angle I took on my essay questions and by the end I didn't give a shit.
"Fine," I said and resumed cooking. I also hadn't seen Dean since the couch and that bothered me for entirely different reasons. At least there'd been a short message from him on the answering machine which I almost deleted after listening to a third of a long winded message from Gabe. He and Sam would be here are seven. I glanced at the clock. Half past six.
"Expecting something?" he asked and I flinched.
"Dean and his brother," I said quietly and Taylor smiled.
"So there is a thing with Dean?" he asked. I wouldn't put it past him and Becca to be making bets on the relationship I had with Dean. I glared at him.
"No. It's strictly friendship," I told him. Again. I ignored him as he made a reference to how we spend our Friday's. I'm still naked and he's still there, but it's art class. There is no touching. He came close by accident and I almost panicked, but there is no touching. I rang the bell and shoved the food at the waiter the moment I caught sight of Dean through the swinging door. Taylor laughed.
"Little Castiel is blushing," he called out as I waited for the next order to come through.
And Dean would request me to do it. The order was simple and I wouldn't have minded except I knew that he knew that I was making his food. And they were going to eat it. And Sam didn't even know me. This was my first impression on someone who was going to be living in my house for three days.
"Careful or you'll chop off your fingers!" Ian snapped. I barely glanced at him. I was excellent at chopping vegetables and would never cut my fingers. He was jealous.
"I thought he didn't eat here," Taylor said from across the kitchen.
"He brought his brother so I guess it's an exception," I said as I finished up their orders. I was surprised Dean was actually eating too.
"Or he wanted to see you again."
"Or he brought his brother," I shot back and he laughed. This was extremely unpleasant. At least I was pretty sure Sam wouldn't come with Dean to art tomorrow. He wouldn't.

I took extra time washing my hands and then putting my coat on. After Dean and Sam had eaten work went by way too fast and now I was nervous. "Finally Cas!" Dean called from the parking lot as I slipped out. He walked over to me with Sam following at his heels. And Sam was tall. He had a good couple of inches on Dean and made me feel incredibly small.
"I'm Sam," he said extending his hand which I shook. "And I really liked the food. It made sense why we were there when I learned you worked there. I was worried Dean had like gotten hit in the head or something since he didn't even complain about the food once."
"Shut it Sammy or I'll imitate you're face when you started eating. He hasn't had human food in months being a poor college student who didn't even come home for the holidays."
"You didn't either," he snapped. "And it's Sam." Dean rolled his eyes.
"Let's just go to your house before Mr. Grumpy Pants gets his panties in a twist as well," Dean said and Sam glared, but said nothing. The car ride was quiet.

I changed out of my work clothes and Sam went to take a shower. Dean was flipping through my art history book which he must have picked up off the floor. I'd thrown it at the wall earlier.
"Don't look too much into the fighting. I love Sammy more then anything. It's just hard when I haven't seen him. The arguing seems more real I guess you could say," he said without looking up. I nodded. I needed food. "So a D?" he asked and I stiffened.
"He didn't like my angle," I said quietly. I shouldn't have taken the defensive in pointing out flaws in style or artists, but it was easier then agreeing with pieces I found repulsive to look at.
"Teachers are always like that. They say have your own opinion, but if they don't agree with it then you fail," he laughed and I shrugged. I didn't really want to think about it anymore.
"You're staying here right?" I asked blushing after the words were out.
"Yeah of course, especially since Sammy is here," he said and I didn't question what he meant even though I really wanted to. Would he stay if Sam wasn't? "AC/DC?"
"What?" I asked shoving sandwich into my mouth. He pointed at my shirt and I nodded. "Thunderstruck has gotten me though a lot of paintings," I told him and he nodded with approval.
"Hope you didn't use all the water Sammy," he said as Sam emerged from the bathroom.
"No I left some, but does Cas wanna shower?" he asked and I shook my head. I'd shower in the morning. "What do you have class?"
"Only one class at noon," I said. It was about an hour long and after I just headed to the art studio.
"We should go out for breakfast then," he said and Dean groaned.
"I don't wanna get up early!" he whined and Sam rolled his eyes.
"Then I'll go with Cas alone," he said and Dean huffed.
"Fine, but bring me back something," he said and shut himself in the bathroom.
"I hope that's okay with you," he said and I nodded.
"It'll be nice," I said. I did want to get to know Sam better.

"Sam's out," Dean said from my doorway. I was working on a sketch to transfer to canvas tomorrow.
"Flying can be exhausting," I said and he shrugged as he came in, shutting the door and flopping down on my bed. I watched him already feeling self conscious.
"I hate planes. You couldn't pay me to get on one," he said and I laughed. He took the sketch from me.
"They aren't that bad," I told him and he glared at me.
"A chunk of metal floating in the sky!? Witchcraft. Nope, never getting on a plane," he said and I laughed harder. "Thanks for laughing at my pain Cas. You're real nice," he pouted and handed the sketch back.
"Sorry, sorry," I said suppressing my giggles.
"I like this one better," he said and I assumed he meant the sketch. I shrugged.
"I'm not the biggest fan on still life's, but the colors in this one are pretty intense," I told him. We were doing a still life of an assortment of flowers. "Next is portraits," I said cutting myself off before I asked if he'd be the subject model.
"Mmm can't wait to see," he yawned.
"Go to sleep Dean," I said with a smile as he stretched.
"Yeah, yeah that's my line Cas," he laughed and sat up. "Just prolonging squeezing into bed with gigantor," he laughed and stood. I opened my mouth and he turned back to me. I blushed and didn't speak. "I'll be fine," he said.
"But ..." I trailed off unable to actually ask if he'd rather sleep in here where there was room. Maybe I should have offered my bed to him and Sam?
"I'll be fine Cas. Stop worrying, do your homework, and sleep. You need it," he said and I narrowed my eyes. He smiled.
"You go to bed Dean," I challenged and he laughed and came over to me and leaned in close.
"Goodnight Castiel," he whispered in my ear sending shivers down my spine making my breathe catch and my body scream out to grab him and never let go.
"Goodnight," I mumbled back as I turned extremely red and hot and felt every inch of me burn as he smiled and left.

***********************************

After spilling coffee all over the kitchen because I'd been watching Dean sleep, Sam and I finally got out of the apartment and down the street to the pancake house on the corner.
"Did you sleep well enough?" I asked.
"Yeah it was fine. Dean hogged the blankets, but I expected that," he laughed and I smiled.
"Good, I was worried," I told him and we ordered.
"I almost asked him why he wasn't in your bed," Sam said and I felt my cheeks burn. "From the way he talks I thought ... but he kept insisting that it wasn't."
"Yeah, just friends," I said quietly relishing in the fact that he talked about me.
"Do you want more then that?" he asked abruptly and I stared wide eyed at him. I didn't want Sam to tell Dean that I wanted more or that I daydreamed about more or that I jerked off in the shower thinking about how much I wanted to slide my hands under his shirt or lick his neck and I didn't want him to tell Dean that most of the time I was thinking about the soft way he smiled at me when he caught me staring, or his perfect full lips, or the way his muscles moved when he had carried the old couch out. "Sorry, sorry I just, the way he talks," Sam said quickly and I breathed a sigh of relief. "But I'm glad he does have you. It makes me feel better knowing he's not just wandering around out here fucking random men and sleeping in his car after all that," Sam told me and again I stared at him. "Sorry, I just worry."
"Men?" I asked. I'd been fixated on that word. I'd only let myself indulged in the idea that maybe he'd be bi.
"Of course he wouldn't tell you," Sam rolled his eyes. "He talks about it incessantly and just of course. It's Dean."
"Say what?" I wanted to know what Dean said about me.
"No, I'm not going to sit here and tell you everything that falls from his mouth when I'm trying to study. It drives me insane half the time. I'm glad he's calling more often but seriously all I hear anymore is Cas this and Cas that and Cas something and if I hear a description of your eyes one more time I might lose it," he laughed and then sighed. "But yeah Dean is gay. I think for like ever, but I really don't need details. He'll flirt with anything with legs, but he's only been with guys."
"And ... what happened?" I asked trying not to burst with happiness.
"Again, not my place to say, but the relationship got like borderline abusive. It started off casual, but when he decided not to go to college it got messy with the guy. He finally told me he'd had enough and I was terrified he was going to kill himself, but instead he left. It was June and I was leaving in the fall and he needed out, so he left. I couldn't get a hold of him until a friend of our dad's said he had shown up at the door." I would have never guessed anything like that. Ever. Dean always seemed, stronger, but then again it's easy to fake especially when you don't know the person that well or that intimately. "So when I first got a call and he talked about Cas the guy who had forced him into the ER after getting frostbite I almost cried with relief. His tone changed. So whether it's just friends or whatever, just thanks. He needed someone like you," Sam said and I could only smile. I wanted to skip class and just run home and crawl into bed with him and never let him leave. That only worked in daydreams though, so I guess I'd just have to tell him I had feelings for him and hope for the best? I wasn't sure. I was pretty sure he knew I was gay after the porn incident, but there was still that crippling fear of maybe he does just want to be friends. To stop thinking about it I started asking Sam about Stanford and being prelaw. It sounded like way more work then I'd ever want to do, but he seemed like he'd make a good lawyer and keeping the subject off of Dean made it a lot easier to eat my food.