Slightly Bruised and Broken From Our Head on Collision

When we actually get into the room where it’s being held I suddenly feel tiny. We file into our places and I see Kyle in the plastic box thing on the other side of the room. I’ve never been in court before but it looks just like it does in the TV shows and movies. Alex looks terrified and when he spots Kyle he sort of grabs my hand and squeezes. A judge walks in and everyone stands up, I follow suit and my knees creak a little. For some reason that makes me nervous and when everyone sits down again I’m counting to ten in my head over and over.

Once the judge has read out what Kyle is being charged for (3 counts of rape and 2 counts of harassment) Alex, Blake and Sarah are all asked up to the podium thing. They ask Sarah for a statement first because her attack was first. She walks up to the microphone and coughs slightly. She looks up at the judge and takes a breath, and then she begins.

“On the 17th of July last year I was raped by Kyle Burns. I was at a friend’s party when he walked in. I asked a couple of people who he was and no one seemed to really know. I found out his name after the attack. There was alcohol at the party and of course,” she pauses a little and swallows.

“I had drunk some. When Kyle came over to talk to me, I wondered what made me special. He looked like he was older than us and I didn’t understand why he would even look twice at me. I didn’t even understand why he was here, how he even knew about it. But he kept getting me drinks and he was so sweet, I just went with it. I started feeling really dizzy so I told him that I should probably stop drinking and just get water. He volunteered to get me some. I later found out that along with alcohol there was also drugs in my bloodstream. Kyle had put them in my drink. He asked me if I wanted to lie down and I agreed. When we went upstairs I collapsed. The drugs started working and I couldn’t move. I wasn’t unconscious. Just paralyzed. So when he started undressing me in this random bedroom I couldn’t fight back, all I could do was try to scream and wonder why my voice wasn’t working.” Her voice cracks a little and she clears her throat again. I look up at Kyle and I see that he’s just looking straight ahead. It angers me that she couldn’t even fight. She didn’t even have the chance to try and get out of it. I concentrate back on Sarah, and she’s continued.

“By the time he had finished with me I was covered in bruises and cuts and I still couldn’t move. I asked my friends afterwards where he had gone and they said after I went upstairs with him he had disappeared. It took them an hour and a half to find me and when they did I was sobbing in a ball on the floor.” Sarah looks back up at the judge and I’m surprised to see she’s emotionless.

“Kyle Burns stole my innocence, he stole my trust and he stole whatever good emotions were left in me. When he raped me that evening and walked away, he left an empty shell. I hope he goes to prison for as long as possible.” She gets down from the podium and sits back down next to Blake. I look back up to the judge and see him shuffling some papers. I wonder how many times a week he gets this type of thing.

The judge asks if Kyle’s lawyer wants to say anything, but by this point I refuse to listen to him. I don’t want to hear anything but Blake and Alex’s stories now. Kyle’s lawyer says something about not being able to say no so Kyle couldn’t of known if it was consensual or not. I tune out and focus on Jack’s hands tapping against his thigh.

“Blake Davidson to step up please” I tune back in with a jolt. The judge is motioning for Blake to step up and read his statement. He walks up to where Sarah was and starts his statement slowly.

“About three months ago I got into a relationship with Kyle Caleb Burns. I didn’t know anything about him, and I was set up by a friend on a blind date. When I first saw him I couldn’t believe that he didn’t already have a boyfriend or something, but then I started to get to know him and I realised that I wasn’t surprised anymore. I was just grateful.” Blake already has tears in his eyes.

“To start with he was a gentleman, he was sweet and he’d randomly turn up at my door in the mornings with breakfast and coffee. I loved him. But after a couple of weeks I realised that I couldn’t do it anymore. I wasn’t ready for commitment and I needed to sort out my family life first.” Blake looked to the judge and explained.

“My family only found out I was gay two weeks ago when I told them about the court case.” The judge nods slightly and Blake continues.

“So I broke it off with him, and that’s when he started to get violent.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see Alex nodding.

“I kept getting messages and phone calls from him, and even when I changed my number he found ways of contacting me. I didn’t understand it. I tried to break it off as nicely as possible and I explained as best as I could to him. But he just wouldn’t leave me alone. One day when I got home from work the curtains was open, and I realised that I hadn’t left them like that. I didn’t understand until I got inside. Kyle was on my sofa and he stunk of alcohol.” I glance up at Kyle and it looks like he’s crying. Maybe it’s a trick of the light.

“I asked him to leave, I mean he broke into my house, I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do. And he refused, I tried to take the bottle of vodka away from him but he started shouting and swearing and hitting me. I tried to get away but he just pinned me down.” A tear rolls down Blake’s cheek and he pushes it way angrily.

“Then he raped me. The whole time I was screaming at him not to and trying to get away but I couldn’t. Once he was finished he walked out of my house and left me on the floor. I was bleeding and crying and covered in bruises and he left me there. I didn’t call anyone because well, I didn’t know who to call for one, and I had no one to call. By the time I had the courage to tell anyone I found out that someone else had been raped and I realised that I had to stop this from happening again.” Blake looks up at Kyle and aims his words at him.

“Kyle Burns took my dignity and left me broken. I didn’t leave the house for weeks because of him and when I did I had developed severe anxiety and depression. All this came from him and I hope he goes in jail and doesn’t get out for a long long time.” He looks back to the judge and lets out a breath.

“I’m stronger than he’ll ever be and I hope that Alex and Sarah are too.” The judge nods and dismisses him and Blake walks away from the podium smiling. I take a breath and look at Jack. He looks as nervous as I feel. I take his hand and rub his knuckle. He looks me in the face and gives me a half smile. Kyle’s lawyer has nothing to say about Blake’s attack and quickly lets the judge continue.

“Alex Gaskarth to step up please.” Alex stumbles up the steps slightly but recovers. The judge smiles at him and I can tell that Alex will be just fine. The judge motions for Alex to start.

“On the 29th of August I was raped by Kyle Burns. We have been in relationships before on two occasions, both times he was abusive in the relationship and both times I found it difficult to get out without him harassing me.” Alex takes a deep breath and continues.

“I got back into a relationship with him for a third time about a week before the 29th, and I helped organise the party that he raped me at. He came and apologised for being abusive before and I believed him. Then we went to the party. To start with it was fine, we were just flirting and just having fun and stuff.” He glances up at Kyle and gulps. He looks back down at his hands and carries on.

“Then this other guy asked me to dance, and I said yes. I mean it was just a fun time, it didn’t mean anything. But Kyle got angry at me; he told me he wanted to speak outside with me. I agreed and he said he didn’t like the way I was acting, when I tried to defend myself he started hitting me and shouting. I tried to walk away but he pulled me into this shed and locked it behind us. I told him I didn’t want to. I told him I wanted to break things off, I didn’t know what to say to stop him so I just kept saying no. He raped me in that shed and every time I tried to get out he would hit be and kick me. At one point he broke two of my ribs, and he took some shears from the side and dug in into my leg. He was hell. When he was done he told me that I couldn’t tell anyone or he’d kill me. I said I was going to tell people and that he was sick and he hit me over the head with the shears.” Alex has tears running down his face now and I want to reach for him, but I stay put.

“When I woke up I couldn’t breathe properly and I had cuts and bruises all over me. Kyle had sprained my ankle, broken two of my ribs, broken my nose, split my lip, grabbed my upper arms so hard I had internal bleeding, given me slight concussion, scratched my back until I bled and where I was lying in the dirt they got badly infected, but most of all he made my anxiety 20 times worse and made me hate myself.” Alex sniffles a little and tries to pull himself together. He gulps and looks at Kyle.

“Kyle Burns didn’t just rape me that night, he took my trust and he took my dignity. I hope one day he feels the pain he inflicted on me.” Alex looks back at the judge and thanks him before walking back to Blake and Sarah. When the judge asks for any evidence against it no one says anything. He then dismisses Alex, Blake and Sarah and calls Jack and me up for evidence for the harassment. I panic but hold my own. I glance at Kyle on the way up and wonder why he’s smiling.

Half an hour and mine and Jacks statements later, the judge says that we all need to leave for half an hour as him and the jury make a decision. When we get outside I hug Alex hard.

“You were great up there.” I whisper to him and he says the same back to me. We break apart and he sits down shakily. Sarah and Blake sit down next to him and I’m surprised when Blake rubs his shoulder.