I Need You So Bad

Dear Diary,

So yes, I hated Brady. The fact of maybe loving him someday was terrifying. The fact of loving Tom was real. I don't understand, in the movies the girl always chooses the right one. Well old movies that is... Now it's different. It's bittersweet, it's more real.

-How I paid my dues-

For the next 2 weeks or so, I've been stuck with Brady and his car rides.

Unlike me, his family was rich.

My observation of Debra was totally correct, oh and she told me not to call her Debra anymore. It is Debby, she claims that her mom was one of those goody-two shoes type people. Debby was a rocker in an all girl rock band in the late 80's to 90's. Whenever she came over, mom would literally make popcorn and be starstruck by Debby's stories. They were all extremely interesting and amusing. We laughed our gut out too.

Debby is a great story teller, sure she'll smoke every once and awhile but we didn't mind. I wasn't very high end with the smoking thing. Even if I was, I would be too scared to even say anything.

So anyways, Brady's family is loaded. They live in the crappy two story nice average looking home because Debby and Cameron were modest, they were to rebellious to do the "rich thing" (that's what they called it) and buy a freakin huge-ass house. They took up Cameron's mother's house after his mother left for Europe. So, here they are... Living next door to me.

I liked our new house. It was one story unlike the rest but it was nice. I never thought that one day I would live without my father. But here we are without him, it was total luck that my mom got a promotion after she signed the divorce papers.

She got really lucky when my Catholic grandparents who blamed themselves for my dad's "mistakes" held guilt in their souls, they gave my mom half of their money and the other half on a will going to me. My grandparents were old... And old people have old money. Well, let's just say Grannie and Pappie were smart in saving all that old money.

Their old money holds a currency to about 1.2 million dollars. And since my dad was their only son, we were able to get the money. But my mom didn't accept the money, now because of my mom's rejection... I am the heir to my grandparents fortune of 1.2 million dollars. I felt uncomfortable when they told me, it was basically them telling me, 'Hey! You're going to be a rich brat!' I don't want to be a rich brat. But like the moral of the book Animal Farm held, 'People in power will succumb to the power they hold.' So we decided I should get it when I turn 18, it can be college money! With 1.2 million dollars, no student loans for me! Anyways yes, my mom worked enough to afford us this house.

Comfy and farm looking, I was scared at first thinking maybe there was an unknown ghost but hopefully by the gut feeling, there wasn't.

I went on Facebook today. I had about 102 friends... 102, they only added me for homework because they were probably too busy sleeping to bother get the homework down from the board and some added me because they were somehow obsessed with having the most friends. Here in California, they do all Internet.

I was really surprised too, I had to ask Tom to help me how to use the site. It was a bit complicated but with Tom teaching me, everything was easy. He's really good at everything... Except for sports. He admitted that he really sucks, and now thinking about it... I don't think he's telling me the truth. Anyways, here on my friend request was Tom's Facebook.

I accepted it right away, I then Facebook stalked him. It felt weird, it was as if he was watching me from his Facebook picture. I looked into his about me stuff, it didn't give me much since he doesn't have any interest on it. No favorite movies, or hobbies, or even inspirational people. It was just music people on there, they were bands that I didn't even know.

I sighed and went off his page. About 3 more people from the new school gave me a friend request. I ignored it and just left it there. I then engulfed myself in my bed and slept, thinking about Tom but at the same time dreaded the time tomorrow with Brady in his big ass car.

"Morning." I said to my mom.

"Good morning. Brady's here." She said, I gripped tightly onto the strap of my bag.

"What?" I asked a bit angered that she let him in even though she knows how I feel about him.

"Yea, I invited him in for breakfast." she said.

"Okay.." I said hesitantly. I walked out behind the wall to see him on the couch waiting. He wasn't eating anything, there he was just sitting there elbows on knee while leaning down. His hands were clamped together and his eyes wandered the room.

I cleared my throat, he looked at me with indifference.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yea." I said and signaled us to leave.

As we walked out, "Thanks for inviting me over Mrs. Byramel." he said.

"No problem Brady. Take care of Lindy for me." she said in a sing-song voice.

"No worries. Bye." he said politely and reassuring then we left. Embarrassment flushed to my face, my cheeks were probably tinted right now. Take care of me? She asked Brady to take care of me? Are you kidding me? After all the BS I told her about him she asked him to "take care" of me?

"Your mom seems nice." he said while driving.

"Yea." I said.

"Speak louder." I looked over to him and glared at him. I saw his stupid smirk.

"No." I defied. He looked over to me his smirk became a crooked smile. I glared at him in distress.

"I'm sorry, please speak louder?" he asked mockingly. I was so angry... So I did what I usually did when I was angry. I cried. This was what my mom did too, whenever she was super angry and distress she would cry. It made fighting with her satisfying because it felt as if I won but saddening because my mother was crying. Brady freaked when tears implored my face. I even saw it with tears in my eyes.

"Hey.. Hey come on." he said. I cried more and more.

"I was just joking around with you. Chill out." he said, he still seemed indifferent. Here he was with me, the cry baby. I kept crying, I could even hear my sobbing. I then covered my face with my hands. I felt the car stop.

I raised my face to see him leaning back and just looking at me.

"Why did you stop the car?" I asked still crying.

"Because, I can't take you to school looking like that." he said, his finger pointed at my nose. He then started leaning into me. What the fuck is he doing? I felt as if he was going to molest me... His hands were out reached towards me too. His face was coming near, so I did the only thing I knew as self defense... I smacked him right on the cheek.

He gasped in pain and pulled back, "Ow!" he said.

I was in shock. My red eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry... I just, you were leaning in!" I exclaimed very panicked.

"Yeah. To do this!" he said and pulled down the visor and flipped open the mirror. I felt so guilty.

"Are you going to sue me now?" I asked.

"Are you going to cry again if I do?" he asks. Is he kidding me? He was holding his face, still.

"Yea.." I said timidly.

"My god, speak louder." he said calmly.

"Hey, don't use god's name in vain!" I said.

"We already sinned enough, saying 'my god' as a curse would not kill me." he reasoned. He was true but I didn't care anymore.

"So, are you?" I asked.

"Am I what?" he asks.

"Are you going to sue me?" I asked.

"No. I don't want to ever see you cry again." he said. It felt bittersweet because he could've meant it both ways.

He could be saying, 'You are hideous when you cry.' which I was really sure he meant it that way or he could be saying, 'Girls shouldn't waste their beautiful tears...' Of which I highly doubt he meant.

"Gee.. Thanks." I said sarcastically and wipe my face with my sleeve.

"Here." He handed me a tissue so I can blow out all that snot from my nose.

"Thanks." I said and I was about to take it until he pulled it back. I reached to grab it but he continued playing around. Before I knew it I was out of my seat and I was wrestling him for the paper tissue, and before I knew it my lips were on his... Totally accidental. My eyes went wide and I pulled back so quick that I banged my head on the roof and hurt my back to the window. Ewww! I kissed Brady.

"Well... That was fun." he said awkwardly. Who's awkward now?

"That was an accident." I claimed.

"Uhhuhh.. Sure. What girl would wrestle for a paper tissue." he said scoffing. Again... I cried.

"My god!" he said.

"Hey!" I corrected him.