I Need You So Bad

How a Year Passed.

Dear Diary,

So, the accident was in comparison of how Nazis invaded Poland. The bomb ticked.

-How a year passed-

After the accident I begged my mom to stop the car rides.

It ended.

I never spoke to Brady again I only see him around but I would never speak to him or even acknowledged him. I hope I never need to ever again.

Tom and I got really close over the whole school year and summer. We were going to be Juniors this year. Over the summer he made a band. The guys that joined were amazing and really cool.

There was Davis, Eddie, and Lisa who was a kick-ass at keyboards. She was really cool, she held that rocker chick vibe to her too. I liked her hair, it was pink!

Anyways the band was on a roll. Only two weeks after coming together they had a gig already. I was happy about Tom's success with the band. We became best friends... I only wished we became more.

I fell deeper and deeper in love with him the more time I spent. Everyday it felt horrible not being able to tell him I feel. It was heart-wrenching. We spent sunsets together and still, we were nothing more than friends. He tells me everything which was really sweet.

Everything about him was compatible to me. We were perfect for each other too. And knowing that it wasn't going to happen, it sucked so much.

Tom always played songs while we hung out. It was nice and pleasant. I couldn't ask for more. He was really sweet and encouraging, he always knew the right things to say… from trashing or advising it was always right and comforting.

I tried to get over him so many times, I tried liking this one guy but it didn't work. Nothing can stir my heart more than Tom.

"So, are you ready for today?" I asked him. We were in his room, I helped him pick out clothes for the gig he had tonight. I was coming along too.

"I'm pumped. I can't wait to play that new song today." He said. I smiled, he looked so cute all hyped-up for a song.

"I bet. You worked really hard on that song." I said while sliding the hangers to decide which shirt was good and which shirt was not.

"So, my stylist… what have you picked out for me to wear?" He asked.

I blushed and my lips turned into a smile involuntarily. When I turned around, my face was 2 inches from his chest. His pale beautiful chest. I breathed out, my breath went on him… I saw goosebumps form on his skin. I gulped… what should I do? I didn't want to move, I didn't want to ruin this moment… but I had to end it.

I stepped back slowly, sliding my feet on the ground in the process. I then tripped, his arm shot out and his hand was wrapped around my lower back pulling me up. My body then crushed into him… he was shirtless. My head was leaned back so that it forced me to look up at him.

I was mesmerized. I was mesmerized by his soft locks, his sky blue eyes, his tall structured nose, and his beautiful lips. I felt his breath pass my ear, it made me form goosebumps. I stared at him and he did the same to me…. we were in the moment.

I never wanted to leave the moment… but then his phone went off. We stood back into our normal stance and he ran his fingers through his hair, I knew what that meant, he felt nervous. He always did that when he was nervous.

He gave me a light smile and went to the phone.

I turned around and continued my hunting. The only thought that was in my mind was, "If only.."

~

"They are so good!" I heard one of the girls say in the crowd.

"The lead singer is really hot." Another girl gushed. I became furious! HE'S MINE! Back off you bitches!

"Nahh, I think the drummer is hot." Her friend said, I smiled. I like that girl more than the other. I looked up at the stage.

I was devastatingly in love with him. If only he knew. When they finished I drank up my hot chocolate and went towards the backstage. When I got to their door I heard my name being spoken. The door was slightly open so I was able to hear exactly what they were saying since the room wasn't that big either.

"Dude… I really think Lindy is in love with you." Eddie said to Tom. My heart stopped and blood drained from my face. No… this is not happening.

"Nah. We're just friends." I felt my heartbreak when I heard those words from him.

"No… trust me.. I'm a female, I know how us female feel and I know that Lindy loves you. You should see how she looks at you." I heard Lisa say and then I heard a can of soda popping open and gulping.

"No… she's just happy for me. She's my friend, she's my best friend." Tom said, I felt like crying so bad. I covered my mouth from making a sound.

"Dude, clear your eyes and open your heart… she loves you. It's one thing for one person to tell you that but three, then it must be true." Davis said.

Of course Davis would say something that poetic. My heart was slow, which is bad. I held in my breath hoping that I wouldn't cry. I wanted him to believe them but at the same time… I wish he didn't. I don't know what would happen to our friendship if this happened.

"Guys… even if she loves me… I can't feel the same for her. Right now, my love is on this… the band… the music. I have no time for girls, not even Lindy." My heart broke and became shattered glass on the floor.

I let out a sob and then ran away. I ran so fast and out the door that I couldn't hear Tom call my name from down the corridor. I ran a few block from the club where they played. I ran down two streets… I was lost now. I didn't know what to do, mom was pulling an all-nighter at work and I don't have anyone else. I pulled out my phone… I only had five contacts. Mom, Tom, Debra, Dad, and Brady… I never deleted Brady's number even though I never talk to him anymore or acknowledged him. But here I was… desperate and broken.

So I sucked up my pride and dialed his number.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey." I said.

"Who is this?" He asks. That stupid bastard.

"It's me… Lindy." I answered.

"Speak louder, please." He asks. I felt as if he had his smirk on.

"It's Lindy!" I said loudly, I was so frustrated and annoyed.

"Oh, why are you calling me?" He asks a bit concerned now.

"I need a ride." I confessed… my pride is in the gutter… along with my heart. I felt as if he was going to say no, I had that gut feeling too. "Please."

"Okay. Where are you?" He asks. I was taken aback and surprised but I didn't react.

"On Edinger and Madison." I said the street names.

"Okay. I'll be there in 5 minutes." he said and clicked off.

I didn't think he would pick me up or help me after what had happened a year ago.

"Are you okay?" He asked after minutes of silence. This year, Brady was going to become a Senior. Hopefully, he matured a bit since last year.

"Not really." I said staring out the window.

"Oh. Boyfriend problem?" He asked. I scoffed.

"I wish." I said… if I had a boyfriend problem it would've been with Tom… only if I was dating Tom.

"Be careful of what you wish for." He exclaimed. Great, he hasn't changed… he just got more talkative. I stayed silent. I didn't know what to do anymore… Tom broke me today. He doesn't love me… he wouldn't sacrifice his music for me. I'm just his best friend… nothing more, nothing less.

Tears fell down my face, I tried not to cry, especially in front of Brady again but here I was, crying.

"Hey.. hey. Whoa.. I'm sorry." He apologized.

"It's not you. I just.." I said and continued crying. My heart hurt so much. It was broke beyond repair… and it hurt. My heart and soul hurt. I felt so lonely and rejected, I felt like dying. I can't believe it happened but it did… I am heartbroken. I felt the car stopped, deja vu rushed through my mind.

"Hey.. it's okay." He said and patted my back. I felt him lean in, and then his arms were around me.

"Life is not fair." I said crying more. I felt his hand rubbing my arm as comfort…. he wasn't really good at it but it was an effort. At least he wasn't indifferent like last time.

"Yea, but how would we know if it's fair if it wasn't unfair." He reasoned. He was right but still.. it did not help.

"It's okay… I know it might hurt… a lot, but there are greater things in life. Maybe this was God's way of pushing you towards the right path." He said. I stopped crying.

He was right… maybe this was God's way of telling me that Tom wasn't the right one. Maybe he never was, maybe it was God's plan to lead me to the dressing room at that exact time.

It was His work for me to listen in and His way of giving me a sign. I might be crazy from all the crying I did but maybe Brady was right… no, not maybe… Brady is right. I looked up at Brady, I didn't realize this but Brady had dark blue eyes unlike Tom's which were light blue. His eyes were intent on mine, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. My hands cupped his shoulders as my cheek lied on it… It felts nice to be embraced in warmth when your heart went cold.

"Thank you." I said and pulled away from the hug.

"It's all good." He replied in a whisper. I smiled. "Don't ever cry again… I mean it this time." He said sternly.

I sighed and let out a light glee of laughter.

"You just don't want to see me cry because it's hideous." I said when I sat back down in the seat. He gave a slight smile, like as if he was meaning, 'Silly girl.'

"No. You're not hideous when you cry. You just look out of the normal." He said. Great, he means I'm a freak then. He muttered something under his breath but I wasn't paying attention.

"Just stop. Okay." He said and wiped my tear away from my cheek. His touch was cold and it felt nice on my hot inflating face. I nodded. He gave a slight smile.

Honestly, I think Brady looked really human when he smiles.

He never smiles a lot… even at school. I see him around all the time, I see him with girls at his every step and how he always ignores them which was strange.

He always seemed alone… and at lunch he was never seen anywhere.

He was really strange… but when he smiles… it was special.
♠ ♠ ♠
What do you guys think? I know I passed it fast.. but come on, the other entries were just introductions. This is where it really goes on.