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Serendipity's Diary
There Once Was A Little Girl
Diary Entry #23
Mood:...Liberated
Date: February 28th, 2012
Today was the end. Today I saw the way you looked at her, the way you laughed with her. I had to admit to myself. I think I blew it. I think I had the chance, even with her there, but I was too shy, too collected. Maybe you heard something that spoiled your opinion of me. But no, around you, I was a perfect little censored angel. You never heard me curse and I rarely ever spoke my mind.
I often said to myself, and anyone who inquired, "The beautification process is wasted upon those who care nothing for looks. It is lost in people who have their faces in books and not mirrors, who wear earphones instead of earrings. This is not the reason I often look bad, but the reason I don't give a shit when I do."
But during the time when I had feelings for you, I spent more time on myself than ever, and you never noticed. You never commented on my outfit, even though I picked it out specifically with you in mind. I don't know why I expected you to say anything, but it was yet another crushing defeat.
I could finally let it all go, I could finally let you go, but it stung just a little. She turned you down, but you still chased her. And I was chasing behind you both and still trying to catch my breath. Now a weight had been lifted and I was myself again.
You know how much I love Shakespeare, Ryan. This line appears in Shakespeare's King Lear, "There once was a little girl who never knew love until a boy broke her heart." Enough said.
It felt great to have self closure, but I knew that when I awoke the next morning I would have terrible morning sickness.
You know, morning sickness. That feeling you get when you have to wake up in the morning and see aloof used-to-be friends who stare at you awkwardly as if you don't notice. Or when you have to see the guy you used to like who doesn't like you back. It's when you realize that you have only one more hour with your music before eight treacherous hours without the one thing that validates your existence. The moment when you realize that not even the weird combination of Hollywood Undead, All Time Low, Panic At The Disco, Carrie Underwood, Queen and Building 429 could drown out your most depressing thoughts. Not to be confused with Monday morning sickness, which hurts like a bitch.
Morning sickness. No I wasn't pregnant, but I might as well have been.
It would have hurt a hell of a lot less.
Searching for Serendipity,
Ryder
Mood:...Liberated
Date: February 28th, 2012
Today was the end. Today I saw the way you looked at her, the way you laughed with her. I had to admit to myself. I think I blew it. I think I had the chance, even with her there, but I was too shy, too collected. Maybe you heard something that spoiled your opinion of me. But no, around you, I was a perfect little censored angel. You never heard me curse and I rarely ever spoke my mind.
I often said to myself, and anyone who inquired, "The beautification process is wasted upon those who care nothing for looks. It is lost in people who have their faces in books and not mirrors, who wear earphones instead of earrings. This is not the reason I often look bad, but the reason I don't give a shit when I do."
But during the time when I had feelings for you, I spent more time on myself than ever, and you never noticed. You never commented on my outfit, even though I picked it out specifically with you in mind. I don't know why I expected you to say anything, but it was yet another crushing defeat.
I could finally let it all go, I could finally let you go, but it stung just a little. She turned you down, but you still chased her. And I was chasing behind you both and still trying to catch my breath. Now a weight had been lifted and I was myself again.
You know how much I love Shakespeare, Ryan. This line appears in Shakespeare's King Lear, "There once was a little girl who never knew love until a boy broke her heart." Enough said.
It felt great to have self closure, but I knew that when I awoke the next morning I would have terrible morning sickness.
You know, morning sickness. That feeling you get when you have to wake up in the morning and see aloof used-to-be friends who stare at you awkwardly as if you don't notice. Or when you have to see the guy you used to like who doesn't like you back. It's when you realize that you have only one more hour with your music before eight treacherous hours without the one thing that validates your existence. The moment when you realize that not even the weird combination of Hollywood Undead, All Time Low, Panic At The Disco, Carrie Underwood, Queen and Building 429 could drown out your most depressing thoughts. Not to be confused with Monday morning sickness, which hurts like a bitch.
Morning sickness. No I wasn't pregnant, but I might as well have been.
It would have hurt a hell of a lot less.
Searching for Serendipity,
Ryder
♠ ♠ ♠
Keep reading! I'm working on making it happier;-)...I love you guys! Sooo much!
XOXO,
Errbear