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Serendipity's Diary

All Your Fault

Dairy Entry #1
Mood: Reminiscent
Date: Who gives a shit?
Ryan, this one is addressed to you.
Fun fact about me: I had always been a cocky bitch. I had a big mouth and strong opinions. I said what I meant and invited anyone who didn't like that to bend over and kiss my short, belligerent ass.

Until there was you. I let you steal that from me whenever you were around, leaving me vulnerable, shy and stupid. You stole my control. I never knew how to feel about that.

The funny thing was that you and I were barely even friends. I was just another girl for you to play around with while you were bored in Literature Studies. I was okay with that.

In case you ever got to wondering, these are some things about me that you would know if you and I were friends:

1. My favorite color is purple. I would have loved it had you known this and this alone.

2. I love music and I listen to everything. This was one of my conversation starters that I have yet to use. It would help if I knew what type of music you were into. Somehow you don't strike me as the regular rap type.

3. My favorite band is Queen. I know they're "old", but I heard you humming Another One Bites the Dust one day and I nearly kissed you. My favorite Queen song is Somebody to Love. Ironic, much?

4. I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!! I think you probably knew this from that fateful day on February 14th when you offered Ryn leftover chocolate and she said no. I guess I was your second choice. I digress.

5. I think your eyes are pretty. For me, looking you into those beautiful eyes is like looking into the light of the sun. It's not supposed to be done. I always did like challenges.

6. I have been planning for a while to kill you. Maybe I'm just bitter because you don't notice me. I know pre-meditated murder is a much longer jail sentence, but I definitely need a plan. Just in case you look at me with those eyes... Maybe I should stab you in them and get it over with. Ok, I didn't want you to know that one. I hope I haven't scared you away. I'm a nice girl, I promise! I just like to get my way.

7. I write poetry. Love poems. I promise they aren't all about you!!! Ok, most of them are. But you were NOT my obsession. You were... my inspiration.

Just a list of things I wanted you to know, in case you ever started wondering. If you actually cared, I would be flattered, surprised, and worried.

Flattered because you only paid me attention when I was starting to doubt your feelings for me and mine for you.

Surprised because it meant you thought of me as often as I thought of you.

I would worry because I would think you'd gotten a concussion playing football for our school. I would know that the only thing left for me to do would be to grab a bat and repeatedly knock some sense in to you.

If I haven't scared you away, Ryan, I hope you continue to read Serendipity's Diary. I hope you enjoy my sappy love poems and I hope you realize how much courage it takes for me to write my story, our story, down for all to see.

Because I don't know how much courage I have left. Life goes on, even without it. That is all your fault.

Searching for Serendipity,
Ryder
♠ ♠ ♠
I like this chapter. It's a little strange, like me, but I like it. Tell me if you see any screw ups with grammar and wording. I'm usually pretty good about that, but this is my first story and I'm nervous!!!
Thanks,
Errbear