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Serendipity's Diary
Yet Another Cliffhanger
Diary Entry #43
Mood: Wondering
Date: April 16th, 2012
I realized today that a few entries have been torn out of Serendipity's Diary. I had a choice to try and recreate them or move on. I decided to go with the latter, as much as it breaks my heart. So on with the entry!!!
Today was the first time I’d seen Ryan in four days, on account of my being absent two days last week, his being absent one day, and the weekend. It was funny, him not being there that one day. He’s always at school, even on the days when I desperately wish he would be sick. Or busy for some reason. Or dead. Just joking… sort of.
Anyway, today something slightly embarrassing happened. I was standing in the hallway outside our science class with Kerah and Sarabella, waiting to go inside. Ryan… materialized behind me, not noticing that I was alive, of course.
But Rah and Belle were going to make him notice.
My back was facing the door that leads in from our school’s courtyard. “Turn around,” Sarabella said to me. I turned to see him walking, joking with a friend. He didn’t hear Bella tell me to turn around or see me turn, so it’s all good, right?
Wrong. “Nope!” she said. “Turn around! Look at him!” Of course, Kerah had to join in. So they were there, trying to physically turn me in the middle of the hallway. He walked by, not taking notice in the situation.
Later, we stood in the hallway once again, and he passed by again! Damn it, Ryan! Are you determined to embarrass me, too?
This time it was a lot less brutal. This time Belle waited until he’d walked by and called my name.
“Ryder!” I looked up. She pointed at him with a smile. I gave her a look that said, “Try that again and I will mess you up.”
Of course, I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day, unless you count passing in the hallway. Remember when he’d called my name and made me smile, even after I’d decided that I was no longer into him? This was the exact same spot.
This time he passed without so much as a look in my direction.
We still had Lit. Studies, though.
Nothing much happened. Our new seats in Literature Studies don’t sit us right next to each other, but across a small walkway. Close enough for him to call my name and look away like I so desperately wish he would.
He didn’t. In fact he ended up moving to sit behind Rosaleen and Sophia, who sit directly behind me. I was working with them, causing me to have to turn around. Giving me a perfect view of, you guessed it, Ryan.
Now, Sophia and Rosie are hilarious! But my laugh is loud, overdone. Not on purpose, but that’s the way it is. I guess that’s what I get for spending so much time with Belle and Rah. Anyway, as they sat making me laugh, I could see your eyes drifting over to me.
At one point, I was laughing and he was just sitting there. Watching me. No cocky smirk, no smile, no wave. He just watched. I would have smiled or something, but I was having one of those “laughing-so-hard-I-don’t-give-a-shit-how-unattractive-I-look” laughing sessions. Being insecure because he was staring was the furthest thing from my mind.
But I couldn’t help but notice… there was something in that stare. Something between complete disgust and… some emotion or feeling that I can only describe as the complete opposite of complete disgust.
I left chorus early today to go to the dentist. There were multiple people shouting goodbye to me. I felt special. The one voice I didn’t hear?
Guess.
Ryan’s. He didn’t say a thing to me. Just like he hasn’t spoken to me in weeks, and that’s only including the name game. We haven’t spoken for real… since the beginning of this entire ordeal.
It’s pathetic.
But something keeps pulling me back to that stare. Something between complete disgust and the total opposite of complete disgust.
Well, which was it? Will I ever know? Will I know soon? I’m not really the most patient person on earth.
Ah, Ryan. Once again you leave me at yet another frustrating, unintended cliffhanger in my story. I have only one thing to say to that.
I. Hate. You. And I hope you realize that you're not gonna be able to run me around like this forever.
Only until I find a reason not to like you anymore. So please, be a dear, and give me one.
Searching for Serendipity
Ryder
Mood: Wondering
Date: April 16th, 2012
I realized today that a few entries have been torn out of Serendipity's Diary. I had a choice to try and recreate them or move on. I decided to go with the latter, as much as it breaks my heart. So on with the entry!!!
Today was the first time I’d seen Ryan in four days, on account of my being absent two days last week, his being absent one day, and the weekend. It was funny, him not being there that one day. He’s always at school, even on the days when I desperately wish he would be sick. Or busy for some reason. Or dead. Just joking… sort of.
Anyway, today something slightly embarrassing happened. I was standing in the hallway outside our science class with Kerah and Sarabella, waiting to go inside. Ryan… materialized behind me, not noticing that I was alive, of course.
But Rah and Belle were going to make him notice.
My back was facing the door that leads in from our school’s courtyard. “Turn around,” Sarabella said to me. I turned to see him walking, joking with a friend. He didn’t hear Bella tell me to turn around or see me turn, so it’s all good, right?
Wrong. “Nope!” she said. “Turn around! Look at him!” Of course, Kerah had to join in. So they were there, trying to physically turn me in the middle of the hallway. He walked by, not taking notice in the situation.
Later, we stood in the hallway once again, and he passed by again! Damn it, Ryan! Are you determined to embarrass me, too?
This time it was a lot less brutal. This time Belle waited until he’d walked by and called my name.
“Ryder!” I looked up. She pointed at him with a smile. I gave her a look that said, “Try that again and I will mess you up.”
Of course, I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day, unless you count passing in the hallway. Remember when he’d called my name and made me smile, even after I’d decided that I was no longer into him? This was the exact same spot.
This time he passed without so much as a look in my direction.
We still had Lit. Studies, though.
Nothing much happened. Our new seats in Literature Studies don’t sit us right next to each other, but across a small walkway. Close enough for him to call my name and look away like I so desperately wish he would.
He didn’t. In fact he ended up moving to sit behind Rosaleen and Sophia, who sit directly behind me. I was working with them, causing me to have to turn around. Giving me a perfect view of, you guessed it, Ryan.
Now, Sophia and Rosie are hilarious! But my laugh is loud, overdone. Not on purpose, but that’s the way it is. I guess that’s what I get for spending so much time with Belle and Rah. Anyway, as they sat making me laugh, I could see your eyes drifting over to me.
At one point, I was laughing and he was just sitting there. Watching me. No cocky smirk, no smile, no wave. He just watched. I would have smiled or something, but I was having one of those “laughing-so-hard-I-don’t-give-a-shit-how-unattractive-I-look” laughing sessions. Being insecure because he was staring was the furthest thing from my mind.
But I couldn’t help but notice… there was something in that stare. Something between complete disgust and… some emotion or feeling that I can only describe as the complete opposite of complete disgust.
I left chorus early today to go to the dentist. There were multiple people shouting goodbye to me. I felt special. The one voice I didn’t hear?
Guess.
Ryan’s. He didn’t say a thing to me. Just like he hasn’t spoken to me in weeks, and that’s only including the name game. We haven’t spoken for real… since the beginning of this entire ordeal.
It’s pathetic.
But something keeps pulling me back to that stare. Something between complete disgust and the total opposite of complete disgust.
Well, which was it? Will I ever know? Will I know soon? I’m not really the most patient person on earth.
Ah, Ryan. Once again you leave me at yet another frustrating, unintended cliffhanger in my story. I have only one thing to say to that.
I. Hate. You. And I hope you realize that you're not gonna be able to run me around like this forever.
Only until I find a reason not to like you anymore. So please, be a dear, and give me one.
Searching for Serendipity
Ryder
♠ ♠ ♠
"Entries torn out" refers to the crash. Unfortunately, those entries are lost. I may try to recreate them, but in the meantime we're just going to keep going! Comment and subscribe!XOXO,
Errbear