Serendipity's Diary

Diary Entry #43
Mood: Excited
Date: April 20th, 2012
Okay, I'm so excited to write about this that I'm not even going to bother setting the scene.

Ryan and I were standing somewhere when all of a sudden, I somehow worked up the courage to poke his shoulder. I don't know how I worked up the courage to poke his shoulder. I don't know how I was able to do that, but I did.

He smiled and poked me back. We went back and forth like that for a while, laughing and playing. All of a sudden, Ryan grabs me, spinning me around. I have a thing about being picked up. I hate it.

But I was laughing and giggling like a little girl... until I realized that people were staring. I slapped his arm to get him to put me down, still laughing and smiling like crazy.

As he put me down, he leaned in to hug me and I hugged him back. As he pulled away, he kissed my cheek. And I was in awe.

Does anyone believe that this happened? Because it did.

Does anyone think it was in my dreams? Because it was.

This all happened in my dreams last night. I woke up all happy and shit, and then I realized that none of it was real.

You remember that thing I said about my dreams having a tendency to come true? We're throwing that out the window. You know why? Because things like that don't happen to girls like me. Not for real.

FML.

Mood: Excited Sadistic



Today we went to State Festival for our chorus class. This means that we sing and watch other schools from the wonderful state of South Carolina (she says sarcastically).

I began the day stating that our chorus... sucked. Everyone was all "No, we'll be fine."

As usual, I was right. We tanked. It was mostly the soprano part's fault, and yes, yours truly does (unfortunately) sing soprano. We messed up on two of our three songs.

When we finished, tensions were high. And Jessie was pissed.

I wasn't too upset, because I mean, what's the point? Getting too upset doesn't change shit.

Anyway, Jess got all upset about how people were blaming the soprano section and she was going on and on about it after the performance.

(insert mocking voice here) "People keep blaming the sopranos. The altos messed up too!"

Ryan was standing nearby. "It was the sopranos' fault." The first time he said it, I raised my eyebrow and turned back to listen to Jessie's rant.

She just kept on. And Ryan reiterated his point three or four more times. I stood saying nothing, listening to Jessie, who wouldn't shut up.

Then, she turned on Ryan. "No, it wasn't just our fault---"

He interrupted her. "I was making a joke!" But of course she kept on. And on. And on.

And after restating that he was making a joke, Ryan walked away, clearly offended.

"I'm sorry, she has no sense of humor," I said as he walked away.

I don't know if he heard me. Thanks for fucking shit up for me, Jess. I love you so very much.

Only now do I realize that he was trying to get a response of some sort, probably from me. I should have said something in the beginning. Am I allowed to hate myself for this?

Anyway, Jess had her face screwed up for the next 30 minutes while they evaluated our score.

In the end, we walked away from the competition with an "excellent" rating in our actual performance and a "superior" rating for sight-singing. The first superior our school has ever had.

Of course Jess decided to unscrew her face then. She even admitted that the sopranos were to blame. I guess I need to let it go. She's obviously bipolar.

We got back to school in time for lunch, Lit. Studies and chorus.

As we sat in chorus, I sat on the other side of the room from where I usually sit for just a second, on the side where Ryan sits. I was talking to friends when he walked past where I sat.

And he gave me this look, the same look he gave me when he was staring.

Sometimes I think that maybe he really does like me and he thinks I'm not into him. So the look could've meant, Why doesn't she like me?

Sometimes I think he doesn't like me at all. So it could mean, There's Ryder again.

Or could have something to do with the whole Jess thing. Why is she friends with that bitch?

All the possibilities. Will I ever find out? I don't know.

I decided today that the best way to tell if a guy likes you is to be direct. You just strut right up to one of your friends and get them to ask someone else to ask one of his friends what he thinks about you.

No, Ryn, we are not doing that. Sophia, that goes for you, too.

I've also decided that life would be perfect if people weren't so stupid, girls weren't so bitchy, and guys weren't so blind.

Searching for Serendipity,
Ryder