We Can Be Forever

Are you ready? This is your chance.

She nodded, exhaling a long deep breath before making her way towards the stage. With every step, her heart threatened to leap out of her chest. The silence was deafening. Her head throbbed with excitement and there seemed to be no one else in the room but her. Even in the infinite darkness, she still felt suffocated by the bated breaths and the expectant invisible crowd. Her nails dug into her palm while the other hand gripped the microphone tightly. Was this really her moment? Could she finally prove herself to the world? Her face grew hot and suddenly her throat felt tight. NO! She made it too far to fail now. When you can't go left and you can't go right and the ground is solid beneath you, the only way is up. She stepped forward, lifting the microphone to her lips, and let her heart break free.

Baby, can't you see, I'm falling...
A guy like you should wear a warning...
It's dangerous, I'm falling...

She closed her eyes, imagining the flowers around her, the colors snaking around her while the seductive melody swayed her into a dance. For a moment, it felt like her feet were lifted off the ground, setting into flight towards a distant dream. Her body felt like liquid, losing itself in the song, a mutated counterpart to its original rendition. I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic? It made her feel drunk with some kind of pleasure, maybe the pleasure of being lost in her own world, created by her own voice, or maybe it was the pleasure of being where she has always wanted to be, doing what she loved.

Toxicate me now with your lovin' now...
I think I'm ready now, I think I'm ready now...

The loss of a dream has never felt so dangerously close before. She opened her eyes, feeling herself settle back down to earth and in front of her: light, people, silence. Their eyes were mesmerized, trapped in a haze and they have not left yet, while she has departed, ripped away from that seductive haze when the music ended. Suddenly, the deafening noise sang to her ears: clapping. Everyone stood up, clapping loudly though as though their own departure from the haze has brought them to the realization that all of the four judges, the people who would ultimately decide her fate, had already turned around. From the left most side was a handsome clean-shave man, hair standing up in almost a faux hawk manner. The solemn expression on his face made it almost hard to believe that he had been the first one to press the button. Next to him, a black man wearing sunglasses. Underneath his cool expression, he was still swaying to the dizzying effects of the music. He didn't know what it was when the melody first started playing, but when he heard the chorus, he had to turn around. The blond diva sat on his left, smiling genially at the girl who still has not processed that she has brought the crowd to a speechless silence and the judges to her feet. The young girl reminded her of another young girl back in her day, her best friend, eager to share her gift with the world with that same song. And next to her, the country star shook his head, as if to shake off the effects of the haze before he would say anything. He hasn't felt like that since college since he took his first shot of marijuana.

The girl on the stage looked around again, almost unable to understand why the crowd had gone silent again. Her thoughts fell back to her nightmare of being naked on the stage until she looked down at herself to see that she was still wearing her black dress. Fortunately, she had not tripped over its length during the song when she moved around. She was most definitely not bald, she thought, feeling her black hair matted on her forehead and sticking to the back of her neck because she had been too nervous. She resisted the urge to wring her wrists, a nervous twitch that would no doubt wear her arms down to the bone. She recognized the people in front of her, having learned their names before she came to Chicago. Going from the left, Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, and Blake Shelton. If they asked her anything about these people, she wouldn't be able to tell them much except that she knew the name of their songs.

"What is your name?" Or at least, that's the way her mouth moved.

She smiled timidly and answered, "Ruby Li."

"Where are you from, Ruby?" The gentleman to the far right asked, eying her with interest. She could tell he had a twang in his voice from the way his lips moved.

"I'm from Texas. Dallas, Texas," she answered more confidently this time. If these were the questions that were going to be asked...

"That was an amazing experience, Ruby," he started again, chuckling, "I never felt that high since college and I'll bet you that experience isn't something you can get with the cheap weed they passed around in my day."

"Oh Blake, wait till Miranda hears about this, she's going to kick your butt!" Christina laughed. "I would have to agree. You were on pitch the entire time and your voice was so unique that when I closed my eyes, it felt like water was moving over me."

"No way, baby," the black man said. Cee Lo grinned, "It was like sweet honey, sliding down my throat. Baby, you made everyone in this room want to make love to their sweetheart."

Ruby blushed, ducking her head. They kept talking and throwing compliments back and forth before finally, he, Adam, spoke up, "Ruby, may I ask you a question?"

Her eyes widen, unable to read his eyes. His face was like stone and she was almost afraid of what he was going to say. What if he-- "Why are you barefoot?"

She looked down at the ground, dismayed to see that her feet were not safely hidden from the crowd, but her toes were peeking out. "I..."

Her voice was failing her. Instantly, it felt like the ground was going to swallow her up or she was going to melt into a puddle on that stage. They can't know! No one will take her seriously. No one will believe her then. Her dream would fall apart and everything she had worked for would go to waste. Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm and when she looked up, she saw Carson, the man who had arrived to her home that rainy day. The throbbing of her head made it almost hard to make out the words on his lips, but she barely caught it: "Her feet had been hurting before the show started so I told her she can just be barefoot.”

Adam nodded, as though satisfied by the answer before moving on. Christina started speaking, giving her compliments and saying why she would be a valuable coach for the girl. Ruby felt like she would probably collapse if Carson hadn’t held her up. She felt bad, making him lie for her like that, but he understood her dream. Cee Lo’s words seemed to drift right past her. He wasn’t the one who could help her. He knew soul and beauty, but even he couldn’t save her.

Blake gave his piece before Adam started talking, “As you can see, everyone else is willing to work with you and guide you along your path, but Ruby, I will take you above and beyond. There’s so much pain in your voice, the loneliness is almost overwhelming and I bet that everyone else in the room can feel the emotions coming from your heart. I want to help you bring that to the world, so that not just the people in this room know about you, but every single person in the entire world will know you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe. It could work. She looked at Carson again and he smiled at her, gesturing patiently towards the judges. He mouthed the words to her, “It’s your time, Ruby.”

She looked to the judges and back to him. She knew what kind of trouble he could get into from lying when the coaches find out about her condition and she didn’t want him to get fired because of her. He brought her dream to her that day and she can’t sacrifice him. She shook her head and smiled sadly at him. It was like her dream was being handed to her on a silver platter if she accepted a deal with the devil and she can’t do that, especially if her good friend’s job and career is in danger for what he was doing. His face fell, realizing what she was going to do next, but he was powerless to stop her.

She turned towards the crowd, her hands moving slowly, and said, “Hi. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I’m actually deaf.”