Me and God
6
As of now I am enrolled in college. my mentor is a pansexual who informs me religion is not so mandatory at all. I've been meaning to tell him about himself.
My inner circle now consist of friends who help me in my path to deliverance. I’ve gotten better. I’ve met three young men. Ryan, Antonio and Claude. Antonio is 21 and is married. Claude is 20 and personally still fighting. Ryan is 19 and is a comedian. These young men have shown me a brighter side to a Christian lifestyle. They joke laugh and pray and I personally enjoy being in their company.
I’ve been walking the road of fleeing from my bisexual temptation which sometimes requires me to stay from my gender all together from time to time. In times of distress I resort to Ryan. The first time I met Ryan I made a secular joke with him.
"So, what does it feel like to be a virgin?"
"It feels good" He said.
My reaction was crazy. I felt as if I had got slapped with a salmon.
I couldn't believe it. I didn't ponder in that question any longer until we got back to his place.
He lived in an apartment, alone. We had just left his friends house from watching Pineapple Express.
(Not the best movie if your choosing what lukewarm role you want to take.) as we were walking I asked to hear his redemption story about why he feels as such.
We get back to his place. We were settling down. He was standing at the fridge drinking water from a water bottle and I was nervously prancing around with a Christopher Columbus curiosity and then I asked him a question "Top or bottom?" I said. He stopped everything he was doing, he began choking and looked at me when he came to. "Your kidding right? You can be serious." I laughed and walked in his room and sat on the edge of his bed. He paused before making any sudden moves. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Since that awkward moment we've been friends. We prayed before meals, before bed. We stayed close. Not close as I've gotten with my past male friends, but close. it felt like a sibling relationship. Like philoe love. Where I don't have to worry about what his attentions are.
When I first met Antonio he introduced himself as Angle and his brother as Hero. When I found out the truth I was a bit hurt, however when they explain it to me I finally understood. When they were born again they received new names. I haven’t received mine yet but I’m getting there. I no longer live at home I stay on campus. It allows me to get up and get out when I don’t feel the need to be sedated. This feeling of freedom is good but until I get free spiritually I won’t be content.
Last weekend Angle introduced me to his wife as beautiful as she was I managed to keep my eyes up as she spoke. I distracted myself with their lap top and avoided pictures all together. There are times when I find myself getting swept away with my situation but I refuse to be discouraged. I close my eyes and cite Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. It keeps me at peace. Its that parent that helps me up when I fall. It keeps me going to where I feel the fire burning.
I work in the central center of all of our college events. Our entire scheduling is don't online. SO for the first time I worked on a Sunday. It was extremely laid back. Many student organizations have Sunday morning service here and its extremely soothing to hear wonderful tune. Leaving home was one of the most wonderful things I could've done I would've never been able to get such exposure in my life. At first I began not wanting to go to church and now I'm still looking for the right one. Its like dating or finding love. Its takes time, patience and endurance. I'm excited to get to my destination.
My inner circle now consist of friends who help me in my path to deliverance. I’ve gotten better. I’ve met three young men. Ryan, Antonio and Claude. Antonio is 21 and is married. Claude is 20 and personally still fighting. Ryan is 19 and is a comedian. These young men have shown me a brighter side to a Christian lifestyle. They joke laugh and pray and I personally enjoy being in their company.
I’ve been walking the road of fleeing from my bisexual temptation which sometimes requires me to stay from my gender all together from time to time. In times of distress I resort to Ryan. The first time I met Ryan I made a secular joke with him.
"So, what does it feel like to be a virgin?"
"It feels good" He said.
My reaction was crazy. I felt as if I had got slapped with a salmon.
I couldn't believe it. I didn't ponder in that question any longer until we got back to his place.
He lived in an apartment, alone. We had just left his friends house from watching Pineapple Express.
(Not the best movie if your choosing what lukewarm role you want to take.) as we were walking I asked to hear his redemption story about why he feels as such.
We get back to his place. We were settling down. He was standing at the fridge drinking water from a water bottle and I was nervously prancing around with a Christopher Columbus curiosity and then I asked him a question "Top or bottom?" I said. He stopped everything he was doing, he began choking and looked at me when he came to. "Your kidding right? You can be serious." I laughed and walked in his room and sat on the edge of his bed. He paused before making any sudden moves. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Since that awkward moment we've been friends. We prayed before meals, before bed. We stayed close. Not close as I've gotten with my past male friends, but close. it felt like a sibling relationship. Like philoe love. Where I don't have to worry about what his attentions are.
When I first met Antonio he introduced himself as Angle and his brother as Hero. When I found out the truth I was a bit hurt, however when they explain it to me I finally understood. When they were born again they received new names. I haven’t received mine yet but I’m getting there. I no longer live at home I stay on campus. It allows me to get up and get out when I don’t feel the need to be sedated. This feeling of freedom is good but until I get free spiritually I won’t be content.
Last weekend Angle introduced me to his wife as beautiful as she was I managed to keep my eyes up as she spoke. I distracted myself with their lap top and avoided pictures all together. There are times when I find myself getting swept away with my situation but I refuse to be discouraged. I close my eyes and cite Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. It keeps me at peace. Its that parent that helps me up when I fall. It keeps me going to where I feel the fire burning.
I work in the central center of all of our college events. Our entire scheduling is don't online. SO for the first time I worked on a Sunday. It was extremely laid back. Many student organizations have Sunday morning service here and its extremely soothing to hear wonderful tune. Leaving home was one of the most wonderful things I could've done I would've never been able to get such exposure in my life. At first I began not wanting to go to church and now I'm still looking for the right one. Its like dating or finding love. Its takes time, patience and endurance. I'm excited to get to my destination.