Punk's Not Dead
Only Woman Bleed.
Summer of 1975
The evening was a cool one, I often felt the chill of the gentle breeze in the air. Sid was gone on tour with Nancy and The Pistols, and they wouldn't be back until October. I couldn't go because I had a job here, and I didn't want to let my boss down. I did occasionally hang out, and get high with Lilith. Weekends were for that actually, but that's another story.
I was at my father's apartment for the day, and I felt a little uneasy. My father was drunk, and he was miserable because it had been almost three years that my mom had left. As melancholic as it is, I found myself not caring about my mother at all. She was the one who walked out on us on Christmas. She obviously did not want anything to do with me if she could just easily leave me there, when I was still very young and needed a mother. My drug problem got worse after that day when she left.
Since Sid has left with Nancy and The Pistols, I've been doing a lot better...
I was just about to leave my father's place, when he called me to his bedroom. My heart began racing. My dad was very drunk by now, and I knew he could be very different when he was drunk. Usually, he was violent and abusive. I remember when my mother would be the victim of his rage attacks...It was horrible. I could never sleep on those nights.
I finally got to my father's bedroom, where he was sitting on the bed, watching the new T.V. he bought the other day. A drink still in his hand, he motioned for me to come sit next to him. I decided to do what he demanded, as I was afraid of him hurting me if I didn't. All I really wanted was to go back to the apartment I rented with Lilith. It was a small one bedroom apartment, and she lived on the floor in my bedroom. So we shared it. It was just enough for us just right now.
My father put an arm around me and pulled me in closer. I shuddered slightly.
"Wot? Don' like cuddlin' with yer dear ol' dad now do ya? What happened? Ya too old fer that now?" he was very intoxicated by this point, and I just wanted to go home.
"Ya know, ya look like yer mother did when she was yer age. She was a looker." he took another drink, and pulled me in closer.
With out warning, he pinned me to the bed and began kissing me. I tried my best to keep my face away from his. It was almost impossible, and I just started panicking more and more. Struggling beneath was getting more difficult, and I could tell my father no longer cared what he did. He began ripping off my t-shirt, and my pants were gone not long after. I started screaming, kicking, punching...my attempts were in vain. I couldn't believe my own father wanted to rape me. Tears poured down my cheeks as he continued his vicious game.
I got the upper hand slightly for a moment, as he was busy unzipping his own trousers. I kicked him in the groin, and pushed my way from him. My father was howling in pain, and I grabbed my clothes quickly. I knew I didn't have much time before he was up again. I ran out the room, and to the door in the kitchen. Unfortunately, there were many locks on the door. I had a difficult time with many of them, which resulted in my father grabbing me by the hair and throwing me across the room.
I hit my head against the cupboard. It was a very fiery pain, and it was unimaginable if you've never hit your head against something very hard.
As I hadn't gotten dressed, he now had advantage over me. He slid deep inside me, making me feel an intrusive pain. I tried screaming, but all he did was cover my mouth. I tried my best to bite him, but all I could do was cry as he thrust viciously into me. This wasn't supposed to happen. My own father wasn't supposed to rape me.
Finally, whether it was an hour later or not, I did not know, he stopped as he was spent. He left me on the floor, and walked out of the house. I laid there as I continued crying for a long while. Hours later, I finally gained the courage to get dressed and go to the hospital. When I was there, I told them I had been mugged and raped.
I just could not tell anyone that my own father had raped me...
The evening was a cool one, I often felt the chill of the gentle breeze in the air. Sid was gone on tour with Nancy and The Pistols, and they wouldn't be back until October. I couldn't go because I had a job here, and I didn't want to let my boss down. I did occasionally hang out, and get high with Lilith. Weekends were for that actually, but that's another story.
I was at my father's apartment for the day, and I felt a little uneasy. My father was drunk, and he was miserable because it had been almost three years that my mom had left. As melancholic as it is, I found myself not caring about my mother at all. She was the one who walked out on us on Christmas. She obviously did not want anything to do with me if she could just easily leave me there, when I was still very young and needed a mother. My drug problem got worse after that day when she left.
Since Sid has left with Nancy and The Pistols, I've been doing a lot better...
♠ ♠ ♠
I was just about to leave my father's place, when he called me to his bedroom. My heart began racing. My dad was very drunk by now, and I knew he could be very different when he was drunk. Usually, he was violent and abusive. I remember when my mother would be the victim of his rage attacks...It was horrible. I could never sleep on those nights.
I finally got to my father's bedroom, where he was sitting on the bed, watching the new T.V. he bought the other day. A drink still in his hand, he motioned for me to come sit next to him. I decided to do what he demanded, as I was afraid of him hurting me if I didn't. All I really wanted was to go back to the apartment I rented with Lilith. It was a small one bedroom apartment, and she lived on the floor in my bedroom. So we shared it. It was just enough for us just right now.
My father put an arm around me and pulled me in closer. I shuddered slightly.
"Wot? Don' like cuddlin' with yer dear ol' dad now do ya? What happened? Ya too old fer that now?" he was very intoxicated by this point, and I just wanted to go home.
"Ya know, ya look like yer mother did when she was yer age. She was a looker." he took another drink, and pulled me in closer.
With out warning, he pinned me to the bed and began kissing me. I tried my best to keep my face away from his. It was almost impossible, and I just started panicking more and more. Struggling beneath was getting more difficult, and I could tell my father no longer cared what he did. He began ripping off my t-shirt, and my pants were gone not long after. I started screaming, kicking, punching...my attempts were in vain. I couldn't believe my own father wanted to rape me. Tears poured down my cheeks as he continued his vicious game.
I got the upper hand slightly for a moment, as he was busy unzipping his own trousers. I kicked him in the groin, and pushed my way from him. My father was howling in pain, and I grabbed my clothes quickly. I knew I didn't have much time before he was up again. I ran out the room, and to the door in the kitchen. Unfortunately, there were many locks on the door. I had a difficult time with many of them, which resulted in my father grabbing me by the hair and throwing me across the room.
I hit my head against the cupboard. It was a very fiery pain, and it was unimaginable if you've never hit your head against something very hard.
As I hadn't gotten dressed, he now had advantage over me. He slid deep inside me, making me feel an intrusive pain. I tried screaming, but all he did was cover my mouth. I tried my best to bite him, but all I could do was cry as he thrust viciously into me. This wasn't supposed to happen. My own father wasn't supposed to rape me.
Finally, whether it was an hour later or not, I did not know, he stopped as he was spent. He left me on the floor, and walked out of the house. I laid there as I continued crying for a long while. Hours later, I finally gained the courage to get dressed and go to the hospital. When I was there, I told them I had been mugged and raped.
I just could not tell anyone that my own father had raped me...
♠ ♠ ♠
This is the last dream sequence. Maxigan wakes up next chapter.