Accidents Happen

Upon entering the house, I immediately checked the clock on the stove. Luckily for me, and I mean seriously lucky, it was only 8 a.m. My mom was sprawled out on the couch, blanket draped over her sleeping form. After shedding my bag, jacket, and shoes, I stealthily made my way up to my room, grabbing a change of clothes. I padded into the bathroom, turning the shower on full blast. I shucked my dirt-caked clothes eagerly, stepping under the hot spray.

I felt my muscles loosen up, but the water couldn’t quite wash away all of the grime I felt. I scrubbed my skin until I drew blood, letting it run down into the drain. I became frustrated with myself, just thinking about what happened last night. Having to wash myself just brought the thoughts front and center, the bits that I remember flashing in and out. Why hadn’t I fought more? Why hadn’t I grabbed something from my bag to injure him with? Why hadn’t I screamed more?

I felt my nails dig into the skin in my arm that I was scrubbing. It wasn’t intentional; my fist wanted to clench, but my arm happened to be in the way. I watched as my fingers slid away and 5 pink crescent shaped marks were indented into my pale arm. I sighed in frustration, slamming the water off. I grabbed a towel from the cabinet, hand hesitating over the razor placed next to it. I wrapped the towel around myself, grabbing the razor in a huff. I went to work on my wrist, feeling my stomach twang at the painfully delightful feeling. Blood dripped, making my skin feel sticky and stiff. My lips twitched upward, my eyes closed. The cool metal sliced through my skin easily, like a hot knife through butter. I felt my pain and frustration drift away, all my muscles relaxing.

I sucked in a breath, snapping back to reality. I realized what I was doing and immediately started to panic again. I threw the razor in the sink, running my wrist under cool water. When it and the tool of my destruction came clean, I tossed it back in the cabinet.

I hated that that was what I automatically resorted to when I was stressed, that it was a habit. It was almost like there was another side to me, a darker side that enjoyed the pain. The other side liked that it relieved the stress, but was embarrassed about the scars it left. My mom had never found out. She never pried.

I dried myself and set to pulling myself together. I wiped the tears that I suddenly felt streaming, threw on some sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt to hide my new wounds. I made sure my hair was dry before going downstairs to start breakfast for my mom and I. I felt hunger burning at the pit of my stomach, bringing to mind how long it had been since I’d eaten last.

I heard clumsy footsteps echoing through the living room; the sound of slipper souls against carpet. I realized my mom was up, just in time to help.

“Good morning, pea pod.” She said, a smile in her voice. “Sorry I flaked on our movie last night. Momma needed some sleep apparently.”

***

I felt like a loser waiting for the bus on Monday morning, but my mom wouldn’t let me get a driver’s license until I was 18. There were a couple highlights to the bus though. A free ride and my best friend Luna Mae.

The bus came roaring up, door opening and allowing me into it’s warmth. Lune Mae was already sitting there with her iPod, white buds in her ears. I suspected she was listening to her music pretty loudly because she hadn’t heard me when I plopped down and greeted her. I yanked bud out of her ear at which she emitted a ‘whoa’ and whipped around to face me.

“Sorry.” She apologized sheepishly.

“It’s okay.” I assured, giggling as I handed her ear bud back to her.

“It’s cold outside.” She stated as she put her iPod into her backpack.

“That’s kind of the point of winter.” I pointed out.

“I know, but you’d think spring would be rolling around by now.” She replied. “Anyway, how was your weekend?”

“Oh, you know.” I shrugged. I wanted so badly to tell her what happened. Nothing had stopped me before. But this was too big of a thing to just tell someone on the bus. “Nothing you’d want to hear about. What about you?”

I listened as Luna Mae told me all about her weekend and before I knew it, the bus came to a halt at the High School and we got off. I struggled to get my backpack on, stumbling off the bus as I got my arm through the strap. I tripped over my own foot, face nearing the concrete. But an arm came into contact with my waist, roughly bringing me upright.

“Watch your step.” They said. I looked up from my 5 foot stature to be met with a familiar pair of steel gray eyes. Embarrassment swept over me and I pulled myself from his arms. “Hey, you’re the screamer girl.” He smiled.

“Just because she has a lip piercing does not make her a screamer.” Luna Mae said from beside me in disgust.

“Never mind him.” I told her and motioned for her to start walking again, fixing my clothes from my almost-fall.

“Wait!” He called. “Not even a thank you?”

“Fine. Thank you.” I said coolly. “But I didn’t need your help.”

“That was weird.” Luna Mae laughed, eying me.

“And today is off to a great start.” I sighed sarcastically.

“Where do you know him from? I’ve never seen him before.”

“We met briefly at a gas station.” I explained.

“You dirty girl!” She giggled.

“No! It’s so not like that. He offered me a ride home.”

“So then why do you hate him so much?” She pried.

“I just…,” I faltered, trying to put it into words. “I don’t like it when guys feel like girls need their help all the time. Like the whole of the female population would be doomed without them. Us women have worked too hard for our rights to be driven over by men again.”

“Ah.” She nodded as we entered the school. “I’ll catch you later. I’m meeting up with Landon before school. He’s going to help me with my math.”

“Bye.” I turned around, waving as she parted ways with me. I turned back around and right into a hard chest. I felt my nose get squished in the impact and I retracted quickly. I brought a hand to my nose to ease the throbbing, pulling it away to find blood in my palm.

“Fucking amazing.” I groaned.

“I suggest you start working on your situational awareness.” A familiar voice chuckled, as my bleeding nose was funny.

“I suggest you stay away before I kill your baby maker.” I replied, hovering my foot threateningly. He raised his hands like he was surrendering.

“But I need to pass on these beautiful genes!” He fake whimpered, gesturing to his body.

“Then get away.” I growled, stomping my foot back on the ground. His face went serious, grey eyes piercing into mine like on the day I met him.

“What’s your first hour?” He inquired.

“Mrs. Harris.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Great. So I’ll take you to the nurse. I mean, it’s the least I can do for bloodying your nose. Then you can show me to first hour. We’ll both have an excuse to be late.” I thought about it for a minute. With blood currently dripping from my nose and my hand, it didn’t take long. Maybe if I did something nice, my day would start looking up.

“Come on.” I sighed.

"I'm Gavin, by the way." He told me. He stuck his hand in my direction, but pulled it away when I threatened him with my bloody hand.
"And you are...?"

"Fiona." I replied.

"I'm sorry I gave you a bloody nose." He apologized, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Just those abs of steel, what are you going to do?"

"Not be right there when I'm trying to walk?" I suggested.

"Or maybe you should watch where you're going." He countered.

"Well what were you doing facing me?" I asked. Before I could answer, my foot got caught on something and I went flying. And just like the first time today, an arm wrapped firmly around my waist, repositioning me.

"That's right." He chuckled. "I was going to tell you that your shoe is untied. Here, let me get it." Gavin kneeled in front of me, tying the frayed shoe laces to my converse.
"Ever heard of new shoes? A lot of girls your age love to go shopping for them, you know."

"Shut up. Don't be dissing on my shoes." I scolded. "And I don't know if your pretty boy brain can comprehend this, but not everyone can just go shopping for shoes any time they want. Some people actually have to," I cut off to gasp. "Work for their things."

He popped back up, mussing with my hair. "Sounds like you've got a good enough handle on it for the both of us."

"Arrogant dick." I muttered under my breath.

"Quite the colorful tongue you've got there."

"Oh bite me."

"Sorry, I'm no Edward Cullen."

"The Cullens only drink animal blood."

"My point exactly."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"And how would you know?" I asked angrily, clenching my teeth.

"Hate is too strong a word to use to describe your feelings for someone upon first meeting them." He shrugged. "You wouldn't tell me you loved me, would you?"

My heart thudded at his choice of simulation. "No, I suppose I wouldn't."

"Point made." He smirked.

"We're here." I announced pointlessly as I walked through the door to the nurses office. I was in here quite regularly; school accidents were no new thing to me.

"Hello Fiona." The nurse, Mrs. Lorium, greeted warmly. She looked between Gavin and I, gasping when she noticed my nose.

"Not even a day here and you're already beating girls?"

"Mrs. ...," he hesitated, reading her name tag, "Lorium, violence is no joking matter." The smile fell from her face like a balloon that just popped and she became very serious.

"I apologize. Would you like me too take a look at the stick up your ass?" She quipped. Gavin's jaw nearly hit the floor at hearing the old woman swear.

"I just need you to make sure my nose isn't broken, but nice one!" I complimented, giving her delicate hand a high-five.