All Hope Is Gone

In The Wind

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A tired sigh passed Lori Grimes’s lips as her eyes watched over her sleeping husband and wounded child. Carl had been coming in and out of consciousness for the past day and nothing he had mumbled of did a thing to soothe her maternal nerves. This entire thing was one big mess and all she wanted to do was wall her family up and protect them like a good mother and wife should do. But she was powerless over her choices and had to make do with people prodding in on them, even if they did mean the best.

“Lori…” Andrea’s voice was gentle as it floated into the room, cautious to not wake the father and son.

It took a moment longer for Lori to tear herself away from her two boys but when she did, she immediately noticed an inkling of worry ghosting Andrea’s expression.
“What’s wrong now?” Carefully she closed the door behind her and ushered Andrea into the hallway with her.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I gotta tell you something. It’s been annoying me for days now…” Choosing her words Andrea stole a moment to think. “The other day when Anastasia came back I overheard her and Daryl talking…he asked her if she was going to tell us something.”

Lori rose a brow and shrugged. “Tell us what?”

“That’s the thing. I have no idea. She pretty much told Daryl off and said she wasn’t going to and him knowing was more than enough people. I came outta the RV and asked Daryl what they were talking about but he just blew me off and told me to mind my own business.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I don’t like the idea of this group keeping secrets, what if it’s something that puts us in danger?”

“I don’t think it’s going to be something that bad. Look how long Anastasia has been with us and all she has done for us…even if the world has gone to hell everyone still deserves a little privacy.” Thinking back to her own digressions Lori began to shuffle her feet over the floor.

Andrea nodded. “Yeah I get that, but if it’s such a secrets why tell Daryl Dixon of all people?”

“Believe it or not but you can probably trust Daryl with a secret more than anyone else in this group.” Lori again shrugged. “Listen Andrea, if it’s so important to you just ask her. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I guess. How’s Carl?”

“As good as he can be.” Lori’s answer was short as she turned for the door disappearing behind it moments later leaving Andrea to ponder in the mud about Anastasia’s conversation with Daryl.

* * *


A delicious breeze swept over Anastasia’s bare legs as she enjoyed the smoothness of them sticking out from a pair of faded jean shorts, the bite in the wind not bothering her. The thin silver chain tickled her fingers as she stroked it and a moment of anguish swept over her. Every so often it would come back to slap her in the face. Never again was she going to hear her daughter’s laugh or see her smile. The new world hadn’t made plans like the ones Anastasia had made. She thought about her husband and how no matter what she did to claw and fight for survival she wasn’t going to be rewarded by his touch. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes and threatened to spill over if she didn’t stop thinking.

“I’m going out ta look fer Sophia.” Daryl’s voice crept up from behind her.

She turned her head to the side and nodded. “Be careful out there.”

The note of mourning in her voice made Daryl stop before turning away. Things between them hadn’t been the smoothest since he’d ask if she was going to tell everybody. Daryl just figured she was stupid enough to worry he was going tattle on her to the group. But as he stood there carefully watching her, he noticed she wasn’t angry at him in that moment. “Are ya okay?”

Quickly Anastasia wiped the wetness from her eyes before it could stain her cheeks and turned to face him with a nod. “Just be careful out there.” She moved to walk past him but stopped as his hand curled around her wrist. The strength housed in just that hand made her wonder just how strong this Dixon was.

“I’m always careful.” Daryl saw a twitch in her lips before she tugged her wrist free of his grip.

As Anastasia stood so close to him an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around his neck and pull Daryl into a tight embrace swept over her but before she could act upon it she forced herself to take several steps back. “I know you are…it’s just we’ve lost so many already and I don’t wanna have you added to that list.”

Daryl felt a touch of warmth from her words, like a pool of hot liquid rising in his chest. He stepped forward covering the paces she had taken back from him and gently cupped the side of her face. “I’ll come back.”

She only nodded as a choke of tears caught in her throat and the urge grew stronger but she bit down upon it and watched him as he slid his hand from her face and turned with his crossbow slung over his shoulder.

Glenn had been watching the exchange by the two unlikeliest of people as he sat upon the top of the RV and shook his head.

“What are you shaking your noggin’ at, kid?” Dale puffed his words as she climbed the last rung of the RV ladder and took a spot next to the ex-pizza delivery boy.

“Nothing, just I think…I think Daryl may actually be feeling something other than just anger and angrier.” He pointed out as Anastasia finally turned back towards the house seemingly unsure of what to do next.

“It does seem that way since young Anastasia landed in with us.” Dale agreed.

“Have you heard Andrea’s theory about Anastasia yet?” He asked with a slight laugh.

Dale raised his brow. “Yeah I heard it.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think it’s none of my business. That’s what I think.” Dale simply replied as they looked on over the farm and its wide open spaces.

* * *


The metallic sound of sharpener against knife was the soundtrack to the early afternoon as lunch time drew in. All the women were busy putting a spread together pretending that at least this part of the day was just normal. All accept Andrea and Anastasia.
Anastasia sat in front of the RV running the freshly sharpened blade over a chunk of bark when Andrea took a spot next to her.

“Can we talk?” She asked with nerves teetering at the edges of her words.

Looking up Anastasia sheathed her knife and nodded. “What’s on your mind?”

Taking in a deep breath the blonde haired woman replied. “I kind of overheard you and Daryl talking the other day. Now I know it’s none of my business, but I don’t think you should be keeping anything from the group. I ju-“

“Andrea, what Daryl and I were talking about has nothing to do with this group.” Anastasia’s face darkened and her eyes narrowed. “And I don’t appreciate you listening in on my conversations.”

“I only overheard what you were saying.” At the same time Andrea began to react to Anastasia’s offended body language.

“Yeah and no one was forcing you to stand there and listen in. So next time how about you concern yourself about your own woes.” Irritated and angry Anastasia stood from her spot and looked down at Andrea. “And don’t think Daryl is going to tell you either.”

Andrea titled her head back and rolled her eyes as Anastasia turned hard on her heel and stalked off towards the house. “I’ll just have to tell Rick you’re hiding something.” The only reply she received was a flip of the bird and a rather profane string of words thrown in her direction.

Shaking her head Anastasia stomped up the front stairs, her heavy boots echoing over the wood as she found a place to cool down before exploding over some unsuspecting person.

“Hey...what’s got you in a mood?”

She turned at the sound of Carol’s voice and huffed a sigh. “Just Andrea sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong.”

“She’ll do that. Girl means well, but after what she’s been through I guess she is just trying to find her place again.” Carol leant her slender frame against the railing and looked into Anastasia’s face. “You look the same. Like you’re still trying to find yourself.”

“I think we all are. A new world and a new life to adjust to. Everyone has to harden up just a bit…” She turned and looked out over the swaying grass. “Winter is coming in.”

Carol nodded. “It’s none of my business as to why you’re here and I don’t care what you did before you got here, just so you know.” With a glint Carol nodded her head.

“I don’t know about that…”

The women met in a moment of silence before Maggie’s green eyes pierced through the quiet. “Lunch is ready. ‘Round up the fella’s?”

They nodded and left the steps and as they walked Carol folded her arms against the cool. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Nope. It’s not that cold yet.” Kicking the ground in front of her they came to stop as Shane turned at the sound of their footsteps.

“Lunch is on boys.” Carol said with a smile.

Shane smiled with a half grin. “Thanks. Aye Anastasia, you know where Daryl has gotten to?”

“He went out lookin’ for Sophia again. Why?”

“Dammit. Stupid prick. He was supposed to wait till tomorrow when we planned to all go out…” The irritation at his orders being ignored was apparent.

She shrugged. “So what? He’ll be back before then. Meanwhile you never know what he’ll find out there without you lot trampling around behind him.”

Shane’s brow jumped up. “Listen, darlin’ I know how to track down a missing person. Just because Dixon gets you wet in the knickers-“

“Hey!” Anastasia slapped away Shane’s hand as it came up to point in her face. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Shane!”

He scoffed and nodded. “Fair enough, missy.” With a shrug he nudged past Carol and strode towards the house.

“Such a dick.” Anastasia muttered.

“Don’t pay that bully any mind. Come on let’s get something to eat.” With an arm Carol lead Anastasia back towards the house.

* * *


“So I hear Anastasia has something she wants to tell us.” It didn’t take long for Andrea to pursue her earlier issue as everyone sat down at the table.

Dale’s hands froze on his fork and knife and his gaze sat over Andrea. “I don’t think that’s very appropriate, Andrea.”

“And it is for her to keep a secret from us all?” She asked curtly.

Rick looked over towards Anastasia with a risen brow. “Do you have something you want to tell us?”

Her hands curled so tight around her fork that her knuckles blazed white as she sat in her own mute silence. Anastasia noted the absolute exhaustion in the leader’s voice and chose to stay silent and only shook her head. Hoping it would be enough to shut Andrea up for the moment.

“Oh come on. Are you just going to take that as her answer, Rick?” Andrea was like a dog with an old bone and kept chewing at the matter.”

Rick was thankful that the man of the house and their host, Hershel, wasn’t there to witness what was brewing between the group. Otherwise he was sure Hershel would see them all back out there in the Walker world without a bat of the eyelid. “If she does not want to talk about whatever it is right now, that’s her choice.” He glanced over towards his wife who nodded.

“Just let it drop, Andrea.” Lori agreed.

“Why are you protecting her like that? Don’t you think what she is hiding could potentially put us all in danger?” Her voice grew louder and more abrasive as her issues weren’t being taken seriously enough.

“Yeah man.” Shane rubbed his chin. “What if she’s infected or something?”

“I’m not infected!” Finally Anastasia exploded as she shouted across the table at Shane. Flicking her gaze over to Andrea her eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you ever keep your mouth shut? No one cares what you have to say. Always whining and crying over yourself, try growing a pair and learn to deal with the shit thrown at you.” The last words were a snarl before Anastasia knocked back her chair and stormed out of the kitchen leaving an uncomfortable silence in her wake.

“I told you to leave it alone.” Dale chided Andrea while his chair scraped back against the wooden floor and footsteps followed the sound of Anastasia’s boots.

The urge to scream and break her fists over something solid gripped Anastasia as she stomped through the front door and headed towards her tent. Her intent was to grab up her knife and head out to look for Sophia or a Walker to put down. Just anything to quell the utter rage boiling in her gut.
She stuck her knife into its pouch and an old jacket over her arms before leaving the tent.

“Where are you going?” Dale asked as he followed her steps towards the edge of the farm.

“Somewhere other than here. I swear if I see Andrea again today…” She curled her hands into fists and didn’t have to say anymore.

“So you’re going to go out there all angry and potentially get yourself killed? That doesn’t make much sense, does it?” Dale shook his head and raised his arms.

She glanced back at the old man and eyed him up and down for a moment. “I suppose it doesn’t.” Anastasia let out a frustrated breath. “Why does Andrea have to be such a pain in my arse for? Is it really that important she knows everything?”

“I guess to her it does. The more she knows the more she thinks she can protect everybody. After losing Amy, she’s had a lot to deal with and the only thing she wants is to help keep everybody safe.” Dale replied as he placed a hand over Anastasia’s shoulder.

Anastasia clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “If she brings it up again like that I won’t just walk away from it.” Her warning was apparent and needed no other explanation.

* * *


“He’s been gone too long.” Anastasia muttered to herself as she stood in front of the RV looking over the fields. The golden afternoon sun glowed down upon the waving grass tips and on through the shadows dancing behind the thick line of trees. She ran a hand through her hair and bit down on her bottom lip.

Andrea lay belly down upon the RV looking through the scope of her gun while the men were in a close by group. Dale sat in his garden chair watching as Anastasia paced back and forth. “He’ll be alright. Daryl knows how to take care of himself.”

“He said he’d come back.” She replied. “I think I’m gonna go-“

“We got a Walker!” Andrea shouted from her spot. The sound of her gun readying to fire a shot clicked over as everyone looked towards the field at her cry.

“That’s not a Walker.” It came out as a bare whisper but before Anastasia could repeat herself any louder a gunshot boomed and vibrated through the air.

The figure that Andrea had shot at went down with like a heavy sack. Again she peered through her scope and a breath caught in her throat. Her skin broke out as gooseflesh and a cold sweat coated it. “Oh shit…I think I just shot Daryl.”