All Hope Is Gone

“So what do we do now?” Shane growled at Rick. His gun still clasped firmly in his hand.

Rick looked back at his oldest and dearest friend trying to find the right words to say. Truthfully he wasn't sure what he could say to make this any better. “Let's just find somewhere to camp down in till we figure something out.”

Lori stepped in narrowing her eyes at Shane. "Shane just calm down, Rick is doing the best he can."

"Yeah and look where they got us!"

Anastasia took a step back from the group and turned looking down the road they had landed themselves on after driving away from the hopeless mess that was the smouldering CDC.
Wrapping her arms around her body Anastasia slowly shook her head to herself. A time when she had thought there would be something more than what they had been forced to endure had died in flames. As she stood there her thoughts began to sink back to the darkest moment of her life.
Maybe she should have used that knife on herself instead of Dana. If she did at least something that resembled her daughter might still be shuffling around living some kind of life. She was just a little girl who had lost her daddy.

“You okay?” Daryl's voice came from behind her. He had watched as she slid away from the group as they bickered and fought.

Slowly Anastasia shook her head. “What's the point?”

Ruffling his brow Daryl took a step closer and Anastasia could feel heat from his skin brush her own. “The point is ta survive.”

“There is nothing left and no one coming to save us.”

“But what ya said back at the CDC 'bout there being somethin' more...”

“I was wrong.”

“So yer just going to give up? Lay down and die?”

Feeling the life begin to dull from her chest Anastasia turned to face the man pushing her to continue. “I don't have anything to stick around for.” It was a realization that should have dawned on her earlier. In the long run there was nothing left for them now.

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing and took a step back. “Ya have us, this group.”

Her only response was to stare back at him.

“Whatever lady.” Scoffing he kicked the road with his boot and turned back to the group. “Ya best be catchin' a ride with Dale too.”

Lori looked up catching Anastasia shuffling back over to the group and wondered what had been said between Daryl and her.

“So it's settled we find a spot and get set up.”



“Is everything alright? I saw you talking to Daryl on the road today?” Lori took a spot next to Anastasia in front of the smouldering embers that had been their fire moments before.

“As good as it can get.” Forcing a smile and a lie she pulled a borrowed knitted blanket around her arms and shivered. “It gets so cold out here at night time.”

“Yeah it does.” Lori moved her gaze to the dirt beneath them. “If Daryl's giving you any hassles you make sure to tell Rick or Shane and they'll sort it out.”

“No.” Anastasia shook her head. “He isn't. It was just a disagreement of opinions is all.”

“Well he can be a strong headed asshole.”

But Anastasia was starting to think she knew a little better even though Daryl had snapped at her on the road. There was still something that tore him apart from the monster known as Merle. Just a touch of kindness under the thick skin he had built up.

“Well I don't know about you ladies but I am sure missing my heater right about now.” Carol nestled in between the women with a blanket big enough to huddle them all under if they sat close enough.

“Me too.” Lori agreed with a smile. “But I miss clean clothes more.”

“My wash machine. I never thought I would miss that old thing.” Carol replied. “What do you miss, honey?”

Anastasia looked Carol in the eye. The thing she missed the most was her little girl and her husband but deciding not to bring down the mood Carol had brought with her she decided against telling her that. “Oh I miss sex. Really good throw ya against the wall sex. Bed breaking, nails down yer back sex, screaming and begging for it to stop kind of sex.” Her cheeks blushed as she replied. The women next to her gasped with smiled and giggles.

“I haven't had that kind of sex in years!” Carol sniggered.

“Never have I had that kind of sex.” Lori rolled her eyes.

Anastasia found herself smiling along with the women. “Lori once we find a place you ought to ask Rick for some of that.”

Lori raised her brows. “I think I will.”

Daryl looked over at the women as they giggled and swapped stories. He watched as Anastasia put on a show and smiled along fooling them into thinking she was okay.

“You three best be keepin' that ruckus down out here.”

“Sorry Daryl.” Carol waved her hand in the air.

“Yeah sorry Daryl. We was just talking some girl talk is all.” Pitching in Lori winked at Anastasia.

“Girl talk? All you girls ever do is talk and talk. Think ya'd be deflated balloons by now.” He tucked his bows behind his back.

Carol ran a hand over her hair. “Oh with the kind of luck we're having all we have is talk.”

Lori bit her bottom lip and struck with a school girlish attitude she decided to throw the Redneck some bait. “It's just sex talk, Daryl.”

The mention of the word sex pricked at Daryl's ears.

“Yeah what was that you were sayin' Anastasia? Against the wall, bed breaking, screaming, nails down your back and begging kind of sex?”

Blushing harder Anastasia looked up as Daryl turned facing them. “Is that right?”

She felt Carol nudge her shoulder to reply. “Yea that's right.”

He chuckled and walked over looking over his shoulder at the RV that was already occupied by the rest of the camp. “Last time I had sex like that the bitch stole my wallet.”

Lori and Carol burst out laughing but Anastasia only looked up at Daryl and he could see how her dead eyes stared back at him.

“Come on. Get in the RV. All of ya.”



Morning had come quicker than the slumbering camp would have preferred but as this life would have it they were out of the RV and going about their daily duties.

Anastasia had volunteered to head back into the RV and give it a proper clean out since the night before was a cramed to fit everyone in and she had found herself tucked up next to Daryl. Though as she began to clear away the blankets from where they had lain she thought about how Daryl had huffed at her but still shuffled over allowing her more space.

“I still think ya an idiot for what ya said.”

Anastasia had only rolled her eyes and told him to shut up before tucking her knees into her chest and closing her eyes.

“Gross.” She muttered pulling out a fuzzy apple from under the bed in the back of the RV.
She heard boots coming into the RV but didn't bother to look over and kept about her duties tucking away the blankets and making sure the windows were open to air the space out.

“That's not fair.” Carl stomped into the RV followed by Sophia.

“Well if you hadn't back chatted to your mama like that.” The young girl tutted Carl as they shifted around the little table and chair set up.

Anastasia looked over her shoulder at the kids and their sour expressions. “What's up little ones?”

Sophia was the first to reply. “Carl talked back at his mom!”

“No I didn't!” Carl loudly protested.

“Hey, hey just calm down the both of you.” Making her way over Anastasia dropped the bag of garbage she had been collecting to be thrown out and stood in front of the table. “Why did you chat back Carl?”

“I didn't back chat. I just said I was sick of eating beans and squirrels. Daryl should be catching something else for us. ”

A sigh left Anastasia lips and she turned her attention to Sophia. “And you're in here because?”

“All I did was agree.” The girl folded her arms and slumped back in the seat.

“Well I reckon both your mama's were right to send you kids in here. What you said was rude and disrespectful.”

“Mom said that already.” Carl leaned over the table looking up at Anastasia.

“And I am saying it again. You know you should be thankful we have those beans to eat and even more thankful that Daryl takes his time to go out there all on his own and gather them squirrels for you to eat as well. You ever think that he doesn't want to do that everyday? Ever think he wouldn't mind just sitting around helping out with easier jobs? I bet Daryl tries his damn hardest to bring back something other than those little critters for us all, but you can't hunt something that isn't there.”
Both the children lowered their heads thinking over her words.
“And another thing you kids should know if we didn't have Daryl all you would have is those canned beans.”

“I...I guess.” Raising her head the look on Sophia's face was ashen with shame. “It sure is really nice of him to do that for us all.”

“Yeah.” Carl agreed avoiding Anastasia mother like stare.

“Exactly so next time you see him go and say thank you. It's the least you can do. Also when your mothers come in next you best say to them you're sorry and are really grateful for what you have here.”

“Yes ma'am.” They replied in union.

“Good. Now I'll get out some books and colours for you two to keep busy with while I finish this cleaning off.”

Anastasia quickly dug out the books and laid them in front of Carl and Sophia before turning back to cleaning. The sounds of boots shuffled up behind her. “Kids don't know any better.”

Turning she noticed Daryl leaning against the archway to the bed area of the RV.

“Doesn't mean they can't learn respect and gratitude. Just because this world has gone to shit, we don't have to turn into animals.”

He took a few steps forward. “So you gonna take some of your own advice and be grateful for what you got here?”

Bringing a hand to her locket Anastasia avoided Daryl's stare. “I loved my family. I lived for my family and during the months when Lincoln was in Iraq all I had was Dana and all she had was me. Now they are both gone. I might not have been able to protect my husband but I should have been able to keep my daughter safe. But I couldn't. I failed her as a mother.”

Daryl watched her face with intent wondering where she was going with this.

“But when you found me and we made it to the CDC all that seemed like it was going to just be in the past and there was still hope to be had. Now? Now I am back at square one.” She huffed and ran her hands through her hair. “I just don't know what to do any more or how I am suppose to feel and move through this life. One moment I am running scared. The next I am up and killing those dead shit fucks out there and after that I am lost in a hopeless whim." She threw her hand over her hair and raked the brown strands back. "But you were right though. I have this group who took me in.”

“Glad ya can see that.” He nodded and turned to leave satisfied with her response when Anastasia placed a gently hand over his arm.

Feeling him flinch under her touch she quickly drew her hand back. “Thank you, Daryl.”

“Fer what?”

“For not telling anyone what I did.”

He shrugged. “Like I told you, it ain't my business to tell.”

Nodding she picked up the garbage and moved past him.

“Anastasia?”

“Yeah?” She looked back as he said her name.

“I reckon you woulda been a good mom.”

She blushed. “Thanks.”