You Give Me Hope
Problem Child
Brittany-
Drugs, alcohol and self harm are the only things I have in life. No, not drugs like meth, coke and heroin. Prescription drugs. Like Xanax or whatever I was put on for my anxiety or depression at the time. Then there was pot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m a typical “druggie” whatever you want to call me; I don’t give a flying monkey’s ass what you think. There wasn’t one day where I wasn’t high or stoned. The weekends I was always drunk. Seventeen, addicted to drugs and alcohol. that’s how I ended up here. I’m at some rehab clinic in where the fuck ever and this is what they’re making me do. Write out all my feelings in this journal. Whoever reads this, I don’t have a single fuck to give what you think. I’m writing in this thing so I can get the hell out of here. And even though I won’t admit it in person, it does make me feel a little better. People stare at my arms, my scars. I’ve cut too deep in the past. I’m a “problem child”. My mom didn’t want me. I lived with my dad, step mom and step brother. The one night I didn’t go and get completely wasted, I got caught for sneaking out. It was for a good reason though.
“Where the fuck where you? You had us worried sick!” I rolled my eyes at my dad.
“Since when the fuck do you care?!” I spat and tromped up the stairs. That’s how I ended up here. Well, not now. But you’ll see. You see, I kind of attempted suicide after a fight with my brother. Again. After the argument with my dad and step mom, I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut. A light knock sounded from my door.
“Brit?”
“Ri?” I sniffled. I hadn’t seen my brother in two years. Ever since his band got signed in his senior year of high school, he’s been drifting away from me.
“What’s gotten into you?” He asked sincerely.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I scoffed. “Look back on the past two years.”
“Come on, you know I’ve been busy.” He looked down at me.
“Whatever.” I pushed past him. I opened the door leading to the bathroom. “I fucking hate you Rian Dawson.” I slammed the door shut. I slid down the door as tears poured from my eyes. Stumbling to the sink I grabbed my anxiety medication and swallowed a handful. I knew it was a bad combination with the alcohol I just consumed. I felt more than the normal high. My legs buckled underneath me and I fell. That’s the last thing I remember. Blackness.
Jack-
We sat in the back lounge of the bus playing video games. Rian and Alex were watching as Zack and I battled each other in a round of Call of Duty. His phone went off pulling our attention from the game. He answered it as we went back to the game.
“What?! What do you mean she’s in the hospital?!” He shot up looking panicked. Zack paused the game and looked at our best friend. He hung up, his face was pale.
“Ri, what happened?” Flyzik asked from the little hall in between the bunks.
“She tried committing suicide…” His voice broke.
---x---x---x---
My best friend’s little sister attempted suicide. Rian loved her more than anything. Even though they weren’t blood related, he loves her as if they were. When we were growing up, the two were inseparable. She would be at all our shows and practices.
“Dawson?” Our heads all shot up to the nurse.
“Yes. That’s us. Is she okay?” I asked fearing the worst.
Drugs, alcohol and self harm are the only things I have in life. No, not drugs like meth, coke and heroin. Prescription drugs. Like Xanax or whatever I was put on for my anxiety or depression at the time. Then there was pot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m a typical “druggie” whatever you want to call me; I don’t give a flying monkey’s ass what you think. There wasn’t one day where I wasn’t high or stoned. The weekends I was always drunk. Seventeen, addicted to drugs and alcohol. that’s how I ended up here. I’m at some rehab clinic in where the fuck ever and this is what they’re making me do. Write out all my feelings in this journal. Whoever reads this, I don’t have a single fuck to give what you think. I’m writing in this thing so I can get the hell out of here. And even though I won’t admit it in person, it does make me feel a little better. People stare at my arms, my scars. I’ve cut too deep in the past. I’m a “problem child”. My mom didn’t want me. I lived with my dad, step mom and step brother. The one night I didn’t go and get completely wasted, I got caught for sneaking out. It was for a good reason though.
“Where the fuck where you? You had us worried sick!” I rolled my eyes at my dad.
“Since when the fuck do you care?!” I spat and tromped up the stairs. That’s how I ended up here. Well, not now. But you’ll see. You see, I kind of attempted suicide after a fight with my brother. Again. After the argument with my dad and step mom, I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut. A light knock sounded from my door.
“Brit?”
“Ri?” I sniffled. I hadn’t seen my brother in two years. Ever since his band got signed in his senior year of high school, he’s been drifting away from me.
“What’s gotten into you?” He asked sincerely.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I scoffed. “Look back on the past two years.”
“Come on, you know I’ve been busy.” He looked down at me.
“Whatever.” I pushed past him. I opened the door leading to the bathroom. “I fucking hate you Rian Dawson.” I slammed the door shut. I slid down the door as tears poured from my eyes. Stumbling to the sink I grabbed my anxiety medication and swallowed a handful. I knew it was a bad combination with the alcohol I just consumed. I felt more than the normal high. My legs buckled underneath me and I fell. That’s the last thing I remember. Blackness.
Jack-
We sat in the back lounge of the bus playing video games. Rian and Alex were watching as Zack and I battled each other in a round of Call of Duty. His phone went off pulling our attention from the game. He answered it as we went back to the game.
“What?! What do you mean she’s in the hospital?!” He shot up looking panicked. Zack paused the game and looked at our best friend. He hung up, his face was pale.
“Ri, what happened?” Flyzik asked from the little hall in between the bunks.
“She tried committing suicide…” His voice broke.
---x---x---x---
My best friend’s little sister attempted suicide. Rian loved her more than anything. Even though they weren’t blood related, he loves her as if they were. When we were growing up, the two were inseparable. She would be at all our shows and practices.
“Dawson?” Our heads all shot up to the nurse.
“Yes. That’s us. Is she okay?” I asked fearing the worst.
♠ ♠ ♠
Here's the first chapter! what i usually do is a chapter for every comment. so tell me what you think :)