You Give Me Hope

Brittany-

Jack decided to drag me to Rian’s in his car. I sat in the passenger seat staing out the window as we passed trees, houses and road signs. The car ride was fairly silent. Although, neither of us really made any effort to speak to the other. He sighed heavily. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. I knew that look plastered on his face. That was his ‘deep in thought’ face. He looked confused, hurt and I don’t even know what else. I wanted to hug him and make him feel better but I couldn’t. He pulled up to Rian and Alex’s house and hurriedly made his way into the house. Slowly, I grabbed my bags and walked inside. When I entered everyone stopped and stared at me. Lisa, Alex’s girlfriend, scoffed and Alex shot her a look.

“Well, well, well… Look who it is. If it isn’t the drama queen herself.” She moved in front of me.

“Alex, control your dog.” I heard Jack say as he stood next to me.

“Why don’t you go back to the corner and try to over dose again. Maybe this time we’ll all get lucky. Go cut some more too while you’re at it.” Before she could even finish my fist collided with her nose. It cracked on impact. I let out a triumphant ‘Hmph’ and walked out the door. I made a swift turn on my heel and walked out of my brother’s home. I was almost half way down the street when I heard the door slam. Looking back, I saw Jack get in his car and drive off. It took me about fifteen minutes to walk home. Normally, it would take about five, if I was driving. When I got home, I went inside and to my room. I changed into my black Tinkerbell sweat pants and Jack’s old hoodie. I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. It’s easy to fake a smile, people believe it. I just wanted one person to care. Just one. When I needed to clear my head I would go sit in the tree house. That is exactly what I did. When I reached the top, I saw a dark figure sitting there. I screamed.

“Relax.” Jack chuckled. “It’s just me. I knew you would come here.”

“Way to give me a heart attack.” I climbed up and sat next to him.

“I brought Oreos, peanut butter and Milano’s. Oh yeah and chocolate and gummy bears.” He handed me a bag full of sweets.

“Thanks JackJack.” I gave him a fake smile. He scooted closer to me.

“No problem. Don’t let her get to you. She’s just jealous of how amazing you are.” Luckily it was dark so he couldn’t see my face. I was blushing, hard. “Hey Brit?” I looked at him and replied with a light, ‘hmm’. “Remember when you were thirteen and I was fourteen? On your birthday. We shared our first kiss.”

“Yeah, I remember. We were just cleaning up and you wanted me to come up to the tree house. You told me to close my eyes and you kissed me. You had a bow on your head and said you were my birthday present.”

“It’s kinda funny how we were each other’s first everything.” He ate an Oreo and I caught him staring at me.

“I know. I look like shit.”

“You look beautiful. As always.” He slowly leaned in and placed his soft lips to mine. I pushed him back and he lost his balance on the edge of the tree house before falling the seven foot drop. I jumped down and ran inside. Hiding in the bathroom brought back the night I almost died. The door was pulled open and Jack threw me over his shoulder.

“Put me down.” I hit his back with my fists.

“No I like the view.” I could tell he was smirking and he slapped my ass. He brought me back outside. “We are sleeping out here tonight. Like old times.”

“Ugh. I hate you.” I groaned. It was getting cooler and I just wanted my bed. No matter how much I missed times like this. We would stay up in the tree house on nights we couldn’t sleep or when I had panic attacks.

“Pwease? You’re my bestest fwiend…” He gave me a small pout.

“Fine.” We climbed back up and made our beds. We lie there in silence. I grew cold and pulled the blanket tighter around me.

“Cold?” He shifted next to me. I nodded. He lifted his right arm. “Come snuggle with Bear.” I snickered and did so. He was warm and his scent filled my nose.

“We have a lot of old memories up here, don’t we?” I looked at him.

“Yeah we do.” I was just about to fall asleep when I heard him say something.

“You weren’t just a casual fuck. You were my first and only love.” He must have thought I was asleep and placed his lips to my forehead and pulled me closer to him. I didn’t know how to react. Part of me wanted to kiss him and tell him I loved him too, but I never said ‘love’ I couldn’t. It doesn’t exist.