Life Happens

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the guys. Vic’s probably cooled off by now.” Mike said, getting up from the couch in the back lounge and opening the door to the rest of the bus.

“Alright, I guess we put the awkward introductions off long enough,” I sighed, reluctantly standing up and following Mike down the hall of bunks towards the front lounge. This was the part of meeting new people that I hated the most. I mean this was awkward enough for normal people but I always managed to make it a million times worse.

“You’ll love them.” He said, turning around, flashing me smile before we reached the front.

“Love who?” Jaime asked, once we reached the lounge. I could already tell he was probably the most friendly out of all the guys. He was the only one who had bothered to say hi when I first walked on the bus. Most of the other guys just stared.

“I was talking about you guys but, I don’t know anymore.” Mike laughed, sitting down next to the guys. I stood there awkwardly for a second before Mike pulled my arm, making me sit next to him. “Anyway, this is Grace. She’s who I got to fill in for Mai.”

“Yeah, we met. We’re best friends already.” Jaime said, flashing a big cheesy smile at me. I couldn’t help but smile back. It was contagious.

“She’s my bff.” Mike challenged playfully, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. The guys were all laughing or smiling at their lighthearted confrontation. I swear their entire moods were contagious, I actually felt comfortable around new people for once. “Anyway, apparently you met Jaime but, that’s Casey, you already know Vic, and this is Tony.”

“Cool,” I mumbled, nodding and smiling while Mike was pointing out all the guys. They all seemed nice enough, just regular guys. Honestly I was expecting guys with huge rock star egos. Glad, I was wrong.

“Now that we’re all acquainted and everything…are we gonna start this tour off right or what!?” Casey yelled, leaning around the counter and pulling out multiple bottles of different kinds of alcohol.

All the guys let out a chorus of yells and laughs, while getting up and grabbing a cup of something. Well, everyone except Tony. I looked over at him and he looked away, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Here Grace, drink this.” Mike said, handing me a cup filled with some sort of brown liquid. Drinking wasn’t usually my thing, I didn’t like being not in control. It didn’t feel right.

“Uh,”

“Don’t worry, it’s not that strong.” Mike whispered in my ear, I smiled gratefully and took a sip. I couldn’t even taste the alcohol. “Drink up Tone!”



Music was playing and everyone was having fun. I looked at my cup and swished the drink around. I could feel a slight buzz but, I wasn’t even close to the guys. I got up and walked over to the bunks, grabbing my headphones and sketchpad from my backpack. It was the perfect time for Seahaven and drawing nonsense.

“All I’m saying is just stop. I don’t care, just stop. It’s done.”

I stopped just as I was about to reach for the door handle. I thought all the guys were up front but, I guess not. Someone was in the back lounge having a serious conversation from what I could tell. Obviously I wasn’t the only one looking for some privacy.

“Did you hear that?” God, I turned around and Tony was towering over me.

“No, I was just…” I mumbled, struggling to find the words. It was like my entire vocabulary had disappeared. “I,”

Tony didn’t wait for the rest of my answer, he walked around me and back into the front of the bus. I felt like I a five year old in trouble. Way to make a good first impression, Grace. I dropped my stuff on the couch and opened up the sketchbook. The urge to draw was gone, I felt bad. Tony had practically caught me eavesdropping, even though I really didn’t mean to.

That was one of the things I hated most about myself, I cared too much about what everyone else thought. I know everyone cared to a certain extent but, with me everything was in extremes. I couldn’t balance anything for shit. I finished the drink, in my hand. I could feel the self-loathing creeping up at the edges. This is why I didn’t drink, I was a fucking emotional drunk.

Even as the thoughts when through my head, it didn’t stop me from pouring myself another drink. I knew I shouldn’t but, I was hoping the alcohol would ease my mind. I didn’t want to be in one of “those” moods, they were torture.



“It rained today, inside of me…winds of dismay, they blew me away.”

“Great song,”

I looked up and Tony was leaning against the doorframe, I hadn’t even noticed the door open. Weird, maybe I was just too drunk to notice.

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.” I mumbled, looking back down at the mess of doodles and lyrics on the page. I was probably the only self-conscious drunk on the planet, I quickly turned to a blank page.

“ Yeah…” He trailed off, sitting down, clutching a bottle of Jameson. He opened it and took a long drink, I could still hear the guys talking and laughing in the front. I guess the back was reserved for the burnouts.

“Mind if I have a drink?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence. I was and probably will always be an awkward drunk. It was probably in my genetic makeup. Tony handed me the bottle and I took a big gulp. I flinched, feeling the alcohol burn down my throat.

“Not a big drinker?” I looked over and Tony was practically staring. I handed him the bottle back but, he continued to stare.

“Not really, it’s just one of those days.” I said effortlessly, usually I thought out every word before I’d let it slip past my lips. Why was I telling him this? I guess, alcohol induced word-vomit. “you know…”

“Yeah, I know about those days….” He trailed off. “Where no matter what happens, everything feels like shit. Like laying in bed, doing nothing is the only option.”

I looked over, stunned. Tony knew, I guess I wasn’t the only one who was fucked on this bus. I held my hand out and he gave me the bottle. I really didn’t feel all that drunk but, once I made a slight movement the room started to spin. This was something I hadn’t felt in awhile.

“When nothing you do feels right, it’s like somethings missing but, you don’t know what it is.”

I knew exactly what feeling he was talking about. It was how I felt a majority of the time. It sucked and I felt bad that Tony felt that way. It wasn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. It was poison.

“Yeah, I know those feelings.”