Another Seguin Story...

My first kiss happened when I was 14. Riley and some of the other hockey boys invited me to some party with the people from their school. It was horrible. All of them left me and flirted with all the other girls at the party. Of course they were all cheerleaders or looked like one. By the end of the night they were all making out with one. I was so pissed off. I had to leave the party. I had to be anywhere but here.

Just as I was about to cross the street. Someone grabbed my arm

“Wait Scar!”

I turned around.

It was Riley.

“Where are you going?” He asked
“Home.” I said as I shoke his arm off me
“Why? Don’t leave?”
“Don’t leave? Why do you care. You’re to busy making out with those whores anyways”
“Don’t be like that Scar, C’mon just come inside.”

I was crying now.

“Seriously, go fuck yourself. Don’t every talk to me again” I said between sobs
“Scarlet please don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I’m sorry lets go home. Don’t cry”
Riley begged.

I hated seeing him like that. I did something spontaneous. I kissed him.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. All this time I liked him so much. It felt so right to do it. It was almost uncontrollable.

Riley took a few steps back. He face was filled with shock and disgust. He ran back inside.

I regretted kissing him immediately.

Kissing Carson was my 2nd kiss ever. My first real one. I wondered how many girls he has kissed. Probably a lot. I wondered how he felt about it. Was it spontaneous? Was its just another kiss to him? Was it uncontrollable? Like it was when I kissed Riley? There’s no way he’s thinking as much into it as I am.

I am stupid. I need to clear my mind from this. It was stupid. I knew in my heart it probably meant nothing to him. That crushed me. But I had to stop thinking about it. The first game of the season is today. I had to get in my zone. I had to forget everything. Scouts from colleges might be there. Fans were going to be there. Maybe my Dad might show. Ha! Who was I kidding? He hasn’t been to a game since I was 10. But still. I looked for him every single game.

This was my last season. If I don’t do well every single game, who knows where I might be? Worst case I might end up playing for the Woman’s teams. Which isn’t too bad. But It was settling for second best, and I couldn’t do that.

We were in the locker room about to skate out and start the game. I was so pumped. I skated out of the tunnel. The sound of the crowd cheering. I missed that so much. It felt so good to be back here again.
Just as the ref dropped the puck, I looked slightly to my left and saw Carson.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Too many thoughts.
Game. Carson. Kiss. Skating. He likes me. Puck. FOCUS SCARLET.
As much as I tried I couldn’t. I dropped so many passes. Made so many stupid mistakes.
It was the end of the 1st period. I was so frustrated. Replaying all the mistakes. Fuck. Worst period of my life!
Just as we were about to go back out again, Riley put his hands on my shoulders.
“Scarlet, I don’t know know whats going on. You need to focus. Get in your zone. Focus Scarlet. Focus. You’re on the ice, nothing else matters.”
He hit his head against mine.
I kept repeating his words, Focus. Get in the zone. Nothing else matters.

That night I scored a hat trick. Of course leave it up to Riley to fix everything. I ended up ditching dinner with Carson to go celebrate with my boys. Which I half regretted. Who knows which one would have been better. I thought about him most of the time. But at the end of the day my boys come first.