A Wag's Life
Chapter 1
5th August 2008:
I was at a party with my best friends and their Husbands and boyfriends. I was at a party with my ex Fernando. And I was at a party with the one guy that was irrevocably in love with me and I felt the same. Yet here I was, the only member of my friends completely single.
For a month Fernando and I had been broken up. And it’d been a difficult month for me. Most days I spent curled up in my room listening to Glee. Singing Get it Right, so many times that I knew the lyrics off by heart. It was my heartbreak song, as stupid as it sounded. However, even though Fernando was across the room in a tuxedo talking with his friends didn’t mean I was going to mope over him. I was free and single.
A smile spread across my features and I started speaking to Alex. “So Alex, I’m way over Fernando.” I informed her.
“You are?” She wondered.
“Yeah, he was just a blip in my life, a blip I loved and hurt sure. But I’m fed up of trying to get him back.” This last month I’d left him a lot of notes, I’d apologised to him so many times. However, the worse time was the day after I hurt his feelings.
Flashback:
I knocked on Fernando’s door and almost immediately he answered. He looked at me for a long moment. “Hey Summer.” He said, trying to sound upbeat, but his heart wasn’t in it. I let out a loud sigh. “I came round because I wanted to give you this back.” I informed him, handing him the small box that contained the engagement ring. He took it from my hand, our fingertips gently brushing against each other’s. “Thanks.” He replied.
“Also, some of your stuff is at my house if you want to get that any time soon. I can put it in a box for you?” I suggested looking down at my feet.
“Yeah.” He said.
Suddenly tears started appearing within my eyes. “I’m so sorry Fernando. How did this happen?”
“I don’t know.”
“If I could take it back…”
“Well, you can’t. You told Phil Jagielka you loved him several times and kissed him right in front of me. You can’t take that back.”
“Is there anything I can do?” I wondered.
“No, the truth is Summer I could probably forgive you for this Phil Jagielka thing and I do. I can handle it, however, I can’t be with you because when I saw the look on your face, as well as his as you told him you loved him I’d never seen that look from you when you told me exactly the same thing. You probably love me and because of that you’ve tried so hard to stay away from him, but I’m not going to keep you apart any longer.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He said and then closed the door…
Present Day:
That was the biggest challenge of my life. It was the worst day I’d had for a long time, but now I was over Fernando, I was going to move on from him. And that’s when my eyes caught a glimpse of the karaoke. I could sing Fernando a song, that’s the way we always get back together. And if that doesn’t work then I’ll move on from Fernando. So just like that I looked for a song I could sing.
And of course I’d been watching Glee and listening to Glee on repeat this past month, I knew there was a song in there that could convey my feelings. However, I refuse to sing Get It Right, I’ve got to part with that song. It’s becoming ridiculous!
It’s in that moment I realised what song I should sing. And after posting my song, ten minutes later I was on the stage looking directly at Fernando and the words were coming out my mouth. “For you, there'll be no more crying… For you… the sun will be shining, and I feel that when I'm with you, It's alright, I know it's right…”
“And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score…
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before...”
After singing that Fernando was smiling, for the first time he seemed so happy, everything was going according to plan. So I continued. “And I wish you all the love in the world, But most of all… I wish it from myself.” It’s in that moment that Phil Jagielka stands behind Fernando, also watching me and smiling. Fernando turns around and looks at him, then looks at me. Suddenly, he must get the idea that I’m singing to Phil Jagielka, so finds a seat to one side and goes and sits down there. “And the songbirds keep singing, Like they know the score, And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before, like never before…”
Suddenly it seemed as though I turned a bad situation worse. I got down from the stage with applause and walked back over to the girls. “That was a nice song.” Abbey told me.
“Thank you.”
“That’s really romantic that you were singing to Phil Jagielka.” I wasn’t singing to Phil Jagielka! Instead of saying that though I just replied with: “I’m getting a drink.”
And just like that I had a drink and then another drink. Followed by another and another… The next thing I know some blond guy joins me at the bar. “Hey.” He says.
“Hi, who are you?”
“Sami Hyypia. We’ve met before.”
“Oh cool, what’s up?”
“I notice you’ve been drinking alone most of the night.”
“Well, maybe I like to drink alone.”
“Maybe, but you’ve been watching Fernando all night. Fancy some help?”
“What kind of help?” I wondered.
“Want to make him jealous.”
“No, I’m not making Fernando jealous.”
“What if I’ve come up with a great plan?”
“What is it?”
“Me and you sing a song.”
“What song we going to sing?” I wonder…
And before I know it Sami and I are up on stage singing our hearts out, both of us completely drunk. I then began singing to Sami with lots of attitude. “Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.”
He then replied with: “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
“I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.”
“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
After that we sang together: “I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah.” Everyone was laughing like mad, but we didn’t care and I kicked off the next verse for us.
“If you want my future, forget my past.”
He sang:
“If you wanna get with me, better make it fast.”
I sang:
“Now don't go wasting…
He sang:
“my precious time.”
Then we both sang:
“Get your act together we could be just fine. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha). I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends. If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is…”
As I looked out of the corner of my eye, Fernando didn’t look too pleased, however Alex and everyone were jumping around, they loved it when a Spice Girls song came on. Even if Sami couldn’t sing. Sami started the next verse in that moment. “Oh, what do you think about that. Now you know how I feel. Say, you can handle my love, are you for real.”
I replied: “I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try. If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.”
However, the funniest part of the whole song was when Sami did the rapping part solo: “So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face. You got G like MC who likes it on a... Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me, ha you'll see.” He was doing this weird dance around me too appearing from either side of me with a different dance move. He’d go to one side and his hand would be in the air. He’d then go to my other side and doing this rolling move with his arms.
“Slam your body down and wind it all around.” We hi-fived one another after singing that. “Slam your body down and wind it all around.” Sami then did a back flip off the stage, making everyone go wild. I was actually considering whether Sami and I should go on tour! “If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends!” We called and the end of the song came.
Both Sami and I gave the microphones back before moving down to the giggling crowds. Sami and I hi-fived one another yet again and we had an arm around one another trying to keep ourselves from falling over. God knows how he did that back flip under the influence of alcohol! As I climbed into the cluster of people talking and laughing, Fernando appeared in front of me. “Summer, can we talk?” He asked.
“Sure.” I replied and Sami let me go, whilst I followed Fernando out of the party. We stood outside the door and he looked serious. “Look, I understand that your having a good time being single and partying, but could you tone it down a bit? It’s hard seeing you with all these different guys and it’s just making me feel crappy.”
“It’s not like I’m doing anything with guys, just singing with them.”
“Summer…”
“You know that song I was singing earlier, I was singing it to you not Phil Jagielka.”
“It kind of sounded like you were singing it to Phil Jagielka.” He replied and brushed past me back into the party.
And as I walked into the party, Phil Jagielka was standing on the stage with the microphone in his hand. “Umm… This song is dedicated to a girl I love. I’ve tried to leave her alone, to give her some space, but I’m through with waiting.” The song then started playing and Phil Jagielka started singing. Making me surprised at how good a voice he has. “Beauty queen of only eighteen… She had some trouble with herself. He was always there to help her.
She always belonged to someone else…” He gazed right at me through the crowd, watching me for ages. “I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door. I've had you so many times but somehow I want more…”
Suddenly all my thoughts of Fernando and everything else that had been going on today just swept away as I watched Phil Jagielka up there. “I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved. She will be loved…” Suddenly a beam of light came on and was shining down on me, I brought a hand to my head, worried about being the centre of attention in this way. “Tap on my window knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful, I know I tend to get so insecure. It doesn't matter anymore. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that moves us along, yeah. My heart is full and my door's always open. You can come anytime you want.”
Phil Jagielka pointed towards me and smiled at me a little as he sang and I smiled back at him coyly. “I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved. And she will be loved, And she will be loved. And she will be loved.” He was no longer pointing at me and just concentrating on singing the lyrics. “I know where you hide, alone in your car. Know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all. Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls. Oh yeah. Tap on my window knock on my door. I want to make you feel beautiful.”
After singing that it felt as though everyone in the room was staring at me intently. I looked over at Fernando and he took one look at me before walking into the bathroom. “I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. Yeah…. Oh… Oooohhhh…” And it was then that the song finished, he put the microphone back and climbed down the stage. Some dance music came on and Alex went to my side. “If you carry on there’s no way you’re going to get Fernando back.” She informed me, before getting a drink. I realised she was right, I was going to stop this.
Just because Phil Jagielka sang a song to me I wasn’t going to fall into his arms just like that. Whitney Houston-I Want To dance With Somebody was playing in the background. He smiled at me and took hold of my hand. “Phil…” I began. “You should know that…”
“Do you want to dance?” He offered.
“Ok.” I replied shocked and he took hold of my hand and spun me outwards and then spun me towards him. He moved away from me and gripped my hand and we both swung in a circle away from one another before he brought me towards him. Our upper bodies collided and as they did so he lifted me high up in the air my arms went up and then very slowly he brought me down. And as he did so my arms went round his neck, our faces ever so close that we were able to take in one another’s scent. We were inches away from kissing when he asked: “What was you going to say?” I gazed into his sparkling, dark brown eyes and grinned a little. “Nothing.” I say and quickly peck his lips.
“You look amazing tonight.” He told me.
“So do you.” I say leaning my hand on his chest. “When I was singing that song earlier I thought I was singing for Fernando, but maybe it was you after all.” I tell Phil and he looks confused, but once again I kiss him straight away.
Happy to be close to him, amazed that finally something is going on between us after he’s kept his distance for the last month. “Come home with me.” I told him, knowing exactly what I wanted and I took hold of his hand and practically dragged him out of the party. We made our way to my home and when we eventually made it I kissed Phil Jagielka on my doorstep. He pulled away. “I’m not sleeping with you tonight as much as I really want to.”
“Why not?” I wondered.
“Because I love you and because of that I refuse to sleep with you when one of us are drunk and I’m the one that’s not drunk.”
“Ok.” I sigh.
“I’ll sleep on the couch.” He informs me and I stumble into my house. He steadies me and helps me upstairs. After that he moves an arm around me, so I can lean on him whilst going to sit on my bed. He takes off my shoes before tucking me into bed. “Night Summer.” He tells me.
“Night Phil Jagielka.” I tell him happily and he leaves my room, closing the door gently behind him.
So that night I’m lying in bed trying so hard to sleep, but I just can’t. For a whole month I’d been having difficulty sleeping without having Fernando lying next to me. It felt empty and made me feel alone. So around four in the morning, I got out of bed and made my way downstairs slowly before seeing Phil Jagielka lying down on the sofa. I pull up the blanket slightly and climb onto the sofa next to him. He wakes up. “Summer, what are you doing?” He asks. I pull the blanket over us both and move my arms around Phil Jagielka, our foreheads resting against each others. “I missed you.” I say and fall asleep on the sofa, next to Phil Jagielka… Content and happy.
I was at a party with my best friends and their Husbands and boyfriends. I was at a party with my ex Fernando. And I was at a party with the one guy that was irrevocably in love with me and I felt the same. Yet here I was, the only member of my friends completely single.
For a month Fernando and I had been broken up. And it’d been a difficult month for me. Most days I spent curled up in my room listening to Glee. Singing Get it Right, so many times that I knew the lyrics off by heart. It was my heartbreak song, as stupid as it sounded. However, even though Fernando was across the room in a tuxedo talking with his friends didn’t mean I was going to mope over him. I was free and single.
A smile spread across my features and I started speaking to Alex. “So Alex, I’m way over Fernando.” I informed her.
“You are?” She wondered.
“Yeah, he was just a blip in my life, a blip I loved and hurt sure. But I’m fed up of trying to get him back.” This last month I’d left him a lot of notes, I’d apologised to him so many times. However, the worse time was the day after I hurt his feelings.
Flashback:
I knocked on Fernando’s door and almost immediately he answered. He looked at me for a long moment. “Hey Summer.” He said, trying to sound upbeat, but his heart wasn’t in it. I let out a loud sigh. “I came round because I wanted to give you this back.” I informed him, handing him the small box that contained the engagement ring. He took it from my hand, our fingertips gently brushing against each other’s. “Thanks.” He replied.
“Also, some of your stuff is at my house if you want to get that any time soon. I can put it in a box for you?” I suggested looking down at my feet.
“Yeah.” He said.
Suddenly tears started appearing within my eyes. “I’m so sorry Fernando. How did this happen?”
“I don’t know.”
“If I could take it back…”
“Well, you can’t. You told Phil Jagielka you loved him several times and kissed him right in front of me. You can’t take that back.”
“Is there anything I can do?” I wondered.
“No, the truth is Summer I could probably forgive you for this Phil Jagielka thing and I do. I can handle it, however, I can’t be with you because when I saw the look on your face, as well as his as you told him you loved him I’d never seen that look from you when you told me exactly the same thing. You probably love me and because of that you’ve tried so hard to stay away from him, but I’m not going to keep you apart any longer.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He said and then closed the door…
Present Day:
That was the biggest challenge of my life. It was the worst day I’d had for a long time, but now I was over Fernando, I was going to move on from him. And that’s when my eyes caught a glimpse of the karaoke. I could sing Fernando a song, that’s the way we always get back together. And if that doesn’t work then I’ll move on from Fernando. So just like that I looked for a song I could sing.
And of course I’d been watching Glee and listening to Glee on repeat this past month, I knew there was a song in there that could convey my feelings. However, I refuse to sing Get It Right, I’ve got to part with that song. It’s becoming ridiculous!
It’s in that moment I realised what song I should sing. And after posting my song, ten minutes later I was on the stage looking directly at Fernando and the words were coming out my mouth. “For you, there'll be no more crying… For you… the sun will be shining, and I feel that when I'm with you, It's alright, I know it's right…”
“And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score…
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before...”
After singing that Fernando was smiling, for the first time he seemed so happy, everything was going according to plan. So I continued. “And I wish you all the love in the world, But most of all… I wish it from myself.” It’s in that moment that Phil Jagielka stands behind Fernando, also watching me and smiling. Fernando turns around and looks at him, then looks at me. Suddenly, he must get the idea that I’m singing to Phil Jagielka, so finds a seat to one side and goes and sits down there. “And the songbirds keep singing, Like they know the score, And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before, like never before…”
Suddenly it seemed as though I turned a bad situation worse. I got down from the stage with applause and walked back over to the girls. “That was a nice song.” Abbey told me.
“Thank you.”
“That’s really romantic that you were singing to Phil Jagielka.” I wasn’t singing to Phil Jagielka! Instead of saying that though I just replied with: “I’m getting a drink.”
And just like that I had a drink and then another drink. Followed by another and another… The next thing I know some blond guy joins me at the bar. “Hey.” He says.
“Hi, who are you?”
“Sami Hyypia. We’ve met before.”
“Oh cool, what’s up?”
“I notice you’ve been drinking alone most of the night.”
“Well, maybe I like to drink alone.”
“Maybe, but you’ve been watching Fernando all night. Fancy some help?”
“What kind of help?” I wondered.
“Want to make him jealous.”
“No, I’m not making Fernando jealous.”
“What if I’ve come up with a great plan?”
“What is it?”
“Me and you sing a song.”
“What song we going to sing?” I wonder…
And before I know it Sami and I are up on stage singing our hearts out, both of us completely drunk. I then began singing to Sami with lots of attitude. “Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.”
He then replied with: “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
“I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.”
“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
After that we sang together: “I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah.” Everyone was laughing like mad, but we didn’t care and I kicked off the next verse for us.
“If you want my future, forget my past.”
He sang:
“If you wanna get with me, better make it fast.”
I sang:
“Now don't go wasting…
He sang:
“my precious time.”
Then we both sang:
“Get your act together we could be just fine. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha). I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends. If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is…”
As I looked out of the corner of my eye, Fernando didn’t look too pleased, however Alex and everyone were jumping around, they loved it when a Spice Girls song came on. Even if Sami couldn’t sing. Sami started the next verse in that moment. “Oh, what do you think about that. Now you know how I feel. Say, you can handle my love, are you for real.”
I replied: “I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try. If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.”
However, the funniest part of the whole song was when Sami did the rapping part solo: “So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face. You got G like MC who likes it on a... Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me, ha you'll see.” He was doing this weird dance around me too appearing from either side of me with a different dance move. He’d go to one side and his hand would be in the air. He’d then go to my other side and doing this rolling move with his arms.
“Slam your body down and wind it all around.” We hi-fived one another after singing that. “Slam your body down and wind it all around.” Sami then did a back flip off the stage, making everyone go wild. I was actually considering whether Sami and I should go on tour! “If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends!” We called and the end of the song came.
Both Sami and I gave the microphones back before moving down to the giggling crowds. Sami and I hi-fived one another yet again and we had an arm around one another trying to keep ourselves from falling over. God knows how he did that back flip under the influence of alcohol! As I climbed into the cluster of people talking and laughing, Fernando appeared in front of me. “Summer, can we talk?” He asked.
“Sure.” I replied and Sami let me go, whilst I followed Fernando out of the party. We stood outside the door and he looked serious. “Look, I understand that your having a good time being single and partying, but could you tone it down a bit? It’s hard seeing you with all these different guys and it’s just making me feel crappy.”
“It’s not like I’m doing anything with guys, just singing with them.”
“Summer…”
“You know that song I was singing earlier, I was singing it to you not Phil Jagielka.”
“It kind of sounded like you were singing it to Phil Jagielka.” He replied and brushed past me back into the party.
And as I walked into the party, Phil Jagielka was standing on the stage with the microphone in his hand. “Umm… This song is dedicated to a girl I love. I’ve tried to leave her alone, to give her some space, but I’m through with waiting.” The song then started playing and Phil Jagielka started singing. Making me surprised at how good a voice he has. “Beauty queen of only eighteen… She had some trouble with herself. He was always there to help her.
She always belonged to someone else…” He gazed right at me through the crowd, watching me for ages. “I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door. I've had you so many times but somehow I want more…”
Suddenly all my thoughts of Fernando and everything else that had been going on today just swept away as I watched Phil Jagielka up there. “I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved. She will be loved…” Suddenly a beam of light came on and was shining down on me, I brought a hand to my head, worried about being the centre of attention in this way. “Tap on my window knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful, I know I tend to get so insecure. It doesn't matter anymore. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that moves us along, yeah. My heart is full and my door's always open. You can come anytime you want.”
Phil Jagielka pointed towards me and smiled at me a little as he sang and I smiled back at him coyly. “I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved. And she will be loved, And she will be loved. And she will be loved.” He was no longer pointing at me and just concentrating on singing the lyrics. “I know where you hide, alone in your car. Know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all. Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls. Oh yeah. Tap on my window knock on my door. I want to make you feel beautiful.”
After singing that it felt as though everyone in the room was staring at me intently. I looked over at Fernando and he took one look at me before walking into the bathroom. “I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. And she will be loved. Yeah…. Oh… Oooohhhh…” And it was then that the song finished, he put the microphone back and climbed down the stage. Some dance music came on and Alex went to my side. “If you carry on there’s no way you’re going to get Fernando back.” She informed me, before getting a drink. I realised she was right, I was going to stop this.
Just because Phil Jagielka sang a song to me I wasn’t going to fall into his arms just like that. Whitney Houston-I Want To dance With Somebody was playing in the background. He smiled at me and took hold of my hand. “Phil…” I began. “You should know that…”
“Do you want to dance?” He offered.
“Ok.” I replied shocked and he took hold of my hand and spun me outwards and then spun me towards him. He moved away from me and gripped my hand and we both swung in a circle away from one another before he brought me towards him. Our upper bodies collided and as they did so he lifted me high up in the air my arms went up and then very slowly he brought me down. And as he did so my arms went round his neck, our faces ever so close that we were able to take in one another’s scent. We were inches away from kissing when he asked: “What was you going to say?” I gazed into his sparkling, dark brown eyes and grinned a little. “Nothing.” I say and quickly peck his lips.
“You look amazing tonight.” He told me.
“So do you.” I say leaning my hand on his chest. “When I was singing that song earlier I thought I was singing for Fernando, but maybe it was you after all.” I tell Phil and he looks confused, but once again I kiss him straight away.
Happy to be close to him, amazed that finally something is going on between us after he’s kept his distance for the last month. “Come home with me.” I told him, knowing exactly what I wanted and I took hold of his hand and practically dragged him out of the party. We made our way to my home and when we eventually made it I kissed Phil Jagielka on my doorstep. He pulled away. “I’m not sleeping with you tonight as much as I really want to.”
“Why not?” I wondered.
“Because I love you and because of that I refuse to sleep with you when one of us are drunk and I’m the one that’s not drunk.”
“Ok.” I sigh.
“I’ll sleep on the couch.” He informs me and I stumble into my house. He steadies me and helps me upstairs. After that he moves an arm around me, so I can lean on him whilst going to sit on my bed. He takes off my shoes before tucking me into bed. “Night Summer.” He tells me.
“Night Phil Jagielka.” I tell him happily and he leaves my room, closing the door gently behind him.
So that night I’m lying in bed trying so hard to sleep, but I just can’t. For a whole month I’d been having difficulty sleeping without having Fernando lying next to me. It felt empty and made me feel alone. So around four in the morning, I got out of bed and made my way downstairs slowly before seeing Phil Jagielka lying down on the sofa. I pull up the blanket slightly and climb onto the sofa next to him. He wakes up. “Summer, what are you doing?” He asks. I pull the blanket over us both and move my arms around Phil Jagielka, our foreheads resting against each others. “I missed you.” I say and fall asleep on the sofa, next to Phil Jagielka… Content and happy.