Status: Ready To Go


Worth Something


The person Josh was at school and the person he was when it was only the two of us were completely different. It was because of that I didn’t trust him.

At school he was obnoxious and flirted with disaster. He had pretty much the entire female population at that school hanging off his every word. Though he chose not to date any of them. I think he liked keeping his options open, being able to flirt with anyone and hook up with everyone.

It was these things that made me question how genuine he was, this part of him reminded me so much of Neil. Really many things Josh did reminded me of him. That’s why it scared me that I was stuck with him in this assignment, that I had to share my thought for the song, personal thoughts with him.

Over the course day I had talked myself out of going to my music class I just didn’t want to have to sit so close to him. Have him critics what I thought for this song, I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready for him to ask where I got my ideas from either.

So when lunch rolled around I went and found Josh. He was sitting at a large table in the middle of the cafeteria with all his friends, a girl perched on each side of him. When I approached he didn’t notice me at first though I could tell both girls did, they were glaring daggers at me.

“Josh.” I mumbled quietly standing at the head of the table he was only sitting a couple seats down and he looked up almost instantly as did the rest of the table.
He stood to meet me drawing more attention to me I noticed. And one of the girls grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt, though he approached me anyway.

“What’s up?” he asked shocked I think that I approached him like this. We didn’t interact at school.

“Uummm, I’m not going to be able to make it to music…”

“What?” He instantly cut me off I could tell he was pissed. “You’re just going to bail again?” He laughed but it wasn’t humorous.

“I came to give you this, go through it see what you think, write something maybe…I don’t know.” And with that I turned and left the cafeteria.

Josh’s POV

I knew that if I went back to sit down I would be hounded by a hundred questions so I grabbed my stuff and left. I went to the library sitting at the desk Nina usually sat at during lunch. Her friend was they’re trying to finish some homework before next period.

“Do you need something?” She asked

“No, I just needed somewhere quiet.” I told her she gave me an odd look.

“I don’t know what your deal is with Nina, but just leave her alone.” With that said we were both quiet and I opened up the folded piece of paper to see a few lines scribbled on it in random places, none of it making any logical sense. Though I knew they were just her ideas for the song.

At the top of the page it said ‘Opposites always attract’ and went on to point out other phrases such as… ‘Keeping me awake, its been like this now for days’, ‘I fear it’s too late’, ‘Naughts and crosses, ‘You had your way’, ‘Let me reach the top, force me to the ground’, ‘Torn me down’, ‘I’ll live and let die, all the promises you made’.

I read them over and over again, wondering what they meant and how she came up with them. I wanted to know but I knew she wasn’t going to tell me it was why she was bailing on music class again. She seemed to hate confrontation.

I guess it was too bad that I didn’t. I raced out of the school figuring she was walking home since she didn’t have a car. Reaching mine I shoved the paper in my pocket and light up a smoke heading out of the parking lot.

It didn’t take me long to find her after all she was walking.

“Nina.” I yelled at her, she turned looking at me with dull eyes and I pulled over next to her. “Get in the car.” I yelled and she shook her head. “Just get in Nina.” I yelled

“I don’t want to, why can’t you just leave me alone?” She yelled back

“Because you intrigue me.” I let a smile grace my lips and she glared at me.

“God you are all just the same.” She yelled

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I yelled at her taking the last drag of the smoke.

“It means your male, your flirt with everyone and think you can get away with murder.” She kept walking and I allowed the car to roll along next to her.

“The first day I met you, you told me not to judge you cause I didn’t know a thing about you, well the same goes for you now. You don’t know a fucken thing about me.” I yelled at her pissed.

She stopped walking and I was about to drive off without her when she turned around and got in the car.

There was this inevitable awkward tension in the car, and it was because I was pissed at her. I had never, not once done anything bad to her and yet she was treating me like I had.

“Where are we even going?” she asked, when I didn’t answer she continued, “Okay so your pissed at me I get it, I’m sorry.” Though she didn’t sound sorry.

“Can I just ask what the hell I have done for you to hate me?” I asked her

“I don’t hate you Josh.” she sighed

“Well it seems that way.” I snuck a quick look at her and she had her eyes closed

“It’s just that you are always the center of attention and you always have girls throwing themselves at you and you flirt with everyone, it’s a little disgusting. I’m not saying its all a bad thing that is if you want it all the attention I mean. But I don’t want it and I don’t want anything to do with you when you are the center of attention.”

I was so taken back by what she had said, for a moment I couldn’t say anything and just had to concentrate on driving.

We arrived at our destination; it was an open overgrown field with a lake on the outskirts of town. I got out of my car not saying a word to her and headed for the lake. I heard the car door open and then slam shut.

“Where are you taking me, out in the middle of no where to kill me?” She yelled.

“Maybe if you keep being a bitch.” I yelled back.

“Fuck you too Josh.” She laughed jogging to catch up to me. “It’s kinda nice out here.”

“Yea I like to come here to get away from everyone for a while.”

“And why do you want to get away from people?” She asked.

“Cause its kind of nice to be out here on your own sometimes where you can just relax and not worry about having to please anyone else.”

“Then why are you showing me this place, if it’s somewhere for yourself?” I asked

“Sometimes you look like you could use a place like this.” I smiled and she let a small one break on her face as we sat our backs against a large old tree stump.

“Thanks, I’m sorry for being a bitch, I just tend to get defensive fast.” She sighed I nodded.

“So are you willing to talk to me about the lyrics you wrote?” I asked pulling them out of my pocket.

“There not really lyrics.” She sighed.

“They kind of are.” I defended.

“I don’t know, parts of it is about my past relationship…”

“With Neil?” I cut her off and she nodded. “Tell me what happened?” But she shook her head, “Why won’t you?” I asked, it was driving me crazy not knowing because whenever she spoke about it she looked pained, and it was obvious it was affecting her life even now.

“Cause I’m scared you won’t ever look at me the same way again.” She sighed closing her eyes.

“What does that mean, how do I look at you now?” I asked.

“Like I’m worth something.”

“You are.” I told her she shook her head and I let me fingers trail over to play with hers laid out in the grass.

“But I don’t want the whole song to be about some shit relationship, I just want it to be attraction and need and not bitter like some of your songs are.” She said looking at me properly my fingers still trailing over her hand.

“Okay…in that case I am going to get to work trying to make sense out of your nonsense lyrics.” I said waving the piece of paper with her words on it in the air. “So go do something, swim or something, I just can’t write with you sitting here.” She nodded smiling at me and wandered off.

Nina’s POV
I took my cardigan off and went and laid out in the sun near the lake my bare arms and legs spread out on the grass exposed to the sun.

“You’re going to get itchy legs.” I heard Josh yell, indicating the grass on my skins I just held up my middle finger.

“Just write a damn song.” I yelled back and I heard him chuckle.

It was nice, I felt free like I didn’t have to worry about anything, with Josh off in the background and the grass brush up against my legs I could hear the rustling of the wind in the trees and the soft hum of Josh trying to make a tune. I had let my guard down again and for the first time it didn’t feel so bad.

I wondered over to him about an hour later and sat next to him, “Are you gonna show me what you got so far?” I asked and he shook his head.
“Josh,” I whined, “You have to show me what if I hate it?” I asked laughing. He looked at me like a deer caught in headlights.

“If you hate it, you can write the damn thing.” He laughed but you could tell that he cared about what I thought, he handed it over anyway. I read over what he had so far the top of the page read ‘Always Attract’ and I smiled.

“I like it, “ I told him “But, this part, it doesn’t work with the rest, its like I don’t know.” I told him not knowing how to word what I wanted to say.

“Yea I know, I have to fix it a lot, oh and you will sing part of it and I think we will have to have guitar lessons too.” He laughed I just fell back on the grass lying there.

“Fuck” I mumbled and he just laughed at me.
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so i have been absent for quite some time so you get an extra long chapter...but then again my comments have been absent for quite a while.
So Comment, I Will Love You
Also check out my new story Skin & Bones