The Apodictic Cure

Miel thought nothing of Brielle skipping out on their meeting the first time- she's done it before- but by the third she began to feel unease. Automatically, her demons tormented her. Probably you're fault. Tired of you. Your selfishness. Just...you. Miel shut her eyes tightly- Shut up, Cat! There was an echoing chuckle throughout her mind. Why? Because I'm right? With a heavy sigh, Miel tried to take Dr. Kress's advice- to pull out of her own mind and concentrate on the world. To move outward instead of inward in times of emptiness.

She studied the ceiling tiles, counting the chips and speckles throughout them. The ceiling reminding her of school- of how she used to space out in class and stare at the ceiling. Thinking of him. And just like in school, the minute his name whisked through her head- her eyes fell right to the floor. Eyes trained on the floor's designs trying to push it all away. Cat began to falter- not in a disappearing way- but in her manner. None of her demons had the strength to act vicious when his name sped through Miel's mind. Not even Cat. Remember... Cat murmured from the black, Remember when we were one, Mimi? When I never existed as a separate entity? Miel heard herself sigh wistfully. She did remember. She remembered having that sassy behavior Cat so thrived on, her snarky comments. Her pride. Her inability to stand down. Even if she had been scared, weak, wrong- she stood tall. It wasn't really arrogance. She humbled herself when it was called for. But...she wouldn't curl away and wish to disappear in her lesser moments, no. When her and Cat were one, when thinking of Cat meant thinking of how she was- she could only think of strength. The vicious she now called Cat these days...that was her strength. The strength that used to have bile rise at the thought of weakness. Thus, the fierceness in her voice. The constant insults.

Do you..Do you ever think you could...be wish me again? Not just...another voice. Cat chuckled again, darker now. The sadness of his name still rang in her nature. Mimi, that's really all up to you. Panic struck Miel, panic at losing Cat. She wanted to be that again. How?! Her own voice echoed in her head, the desperation was crystal clear. Cat laughed again, out right and maliciously. Miel knew her old self well- Cat was hurt. I don't know how, Miel. You shoved me into the darkness the minute everything happened. I didn't want to become a voice, I was happen being one with you. Being a apart of yourself, your personality. Not your disease.

"Mimi?" A voice broke through- Clara's. She stood against the threshold with a look of pure concern. Miel's head felt funny, light and clouded. She didn't know if she could walk, and she had no idea how to hide her emotions. What did her face look like? Make it emotionless. Make it the mask. Miel tried to coach herself, hoping thinking this would have her demons chime in. She depended on them so much now. Without Brielle, she had introverted herself. She hadn't painted her art in the rec room in days. She hadn't socialized with anyone but Clara and Kress.

"Wh-What is it?" Her voice, thankfully, was as level as ever.
"Your meeting. With Dr. Kress."
Miel hopped up and quickly rushed to Dr. Kress. She had distrust the doctor since she came, the first weeks she never talked. Now, after a few months, those few words turned to heartfelt sentences. Confessions even. A demon that wasn't Cat chuckled, dark just like how Cat did- but for other reasons. Careful Mimi, you're getting too close. Be cautious of your habit of...having a taste for..older men. The words were carefully chosen by the illusion to hit a chords in Miel.

She entered his office with a look of concerned disgust. Sitting down, Dr. Kress finally brought up her expression.
"Oh ah...it's nothing." She felt her face burn with a blush. It's becomes I'm lonely. Brielle isn't around. I can't...I can't rely on that. Miel worriedly chided herself with caution.
"Well ah.." Dr. Kress was used to her carefulness in what to reveal, he hoped in only a matter of time she would open up to the new problem she seemed to have developed. "How's...everything been?"

This time, Miel brightened. She almost smiled.
"Cat and I conversed!"
"Cat's the one...?"
"She's the old me." Miel's voice showed her annoyance at the doctor. She had explained each one of them, only 2 were named. But even if Cat was the prime voice, he always forgot what she tormented Miel about.
"Ah, and what was it about?"
"About becoming...one again." Her eyes sparkled with the thought. "She never wanted to be a voice, she wanted to stay...with me."
"Why did she form then?"
That stopped it all. She never told the doctor exactly what happened to her- only Brielle knew it all. It made a shiver run down her spine, she noticeably trembled.
"Just...an event. It shocked both of us but the weaker part of me...is selfish. I separated all the parts that reminded me of...said-event. I stuck in the closest with the skeletons. I'm realizing...that wasn't the best thing. But...I don't know how to....reunite us."

Since Brielle was no where around- Miel had to confide in the man before her. As much as she hated letting so much of her thoughts out to him, she had to. Dr. Kress smiled softly, that same warm smile he showed her since she became his patient.

"I'm sorry to bring it up- but maybe you can't? Maybe realizing all this is creating a new strength. And so this...Cat- she won't be needed by the end. Perhaps she's just suppose to be the old you, transforming into a catalyst? One that makes you...create your own strength."

She didn't like the thought, that panic she felt shot through her again. She felt her heart beat speed up to a sprint. To lose that side of her...meant she would lose a part of him. She felt the stinging in her eyes and knew the tears would come. Dr. Kress remained impassive, but his eyes shone with bright care.

"Miel, don't be scared. With her or without, you'll become strong again."
Miel shook her head slowly, denying it all.
"You don't need to worry."
She felt the doctor's hand settle on her's. Her hands seemed so tiny and fragile against the large hand of the doctor. He patted the tight fists that were in her lap before pulling his hand away.
"You aren't alone anymore, you have to change. You're sticking to ideals of coping that don't apply anymore. You can cope without starving now, without the drugs, without the blood, without the voices. Because you now have people. Brielle being one of the most important ones from what I've seen."
Her tears slowed still, and soon stopped. Her bottom lip quivered as she struggled for control.

"But..Dr. Kress...I'm so good at losing everything I love."