Status: Complete.
Glass
Glass
“I don’t know what happened. I don’t want to talk about it.” I said numbly while simultaneously looking out the window at the courtyard where my old friends are having lunch.
“Raegan, you have to talk to me. I know you’re in a lot of pain right-“
“Shut up! You don’t know what I’ve been through; you don’t know who I am! You don’t know who I was before I was this freak!” I yelled towards the counselor, David Jonhston. I sat there silently, pulling on the brittle hairs I had left after ripping so many out.
“Stop doing that to yourself, Raegan. It’s more than a nervous tick now. It’s a problem.”
“I’m a problem.” I said matter-o-fact.
“You are not a problem, Raegan. What has happened to you is.”
“Nothing happened to me.”
“That’s not what we have heard from the medical department. You have vaginal tearing, swelling and bruising, along with-“
“Stop! Stop, okay! Something happened!”
“And would you care to tell me what exactly that was?”
“No.”
“Why not, Raegan?”
“Because it’s unnatural. It’s wrong.” I started shivering and scratching at my arms. They’ve got multiple bruises lining the outer edges and even the slightest touch brings me back to the party.
“Come on, Ray! It’ll be so much fun! There’ll be all the upperclassmen and fireworks and I heard Stevie’s parents are even going out of town. That means no adults! Period!” Kata exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement and wearing a grin stretched across her face.
“Fine, fine. But we’re coming home after. I am not staying the night at some boy’s house I don’t even know.”
“Yes! Thanks for finally agreeing!” Kata squealed before squeezing my hand and taking my lips on her own.
“Yeah, yeah, knock it off. My parents are home, you know.”
“Why can’t you just tell them? We’ve been official for almost two years. I hate how they think we’re just friends. I love you, Ray.”
“I love you too. But, my parents are incredibly strict on the whole Catholicism thing and I think they’d drown me in holy water if I told them I was a lesbian.”
“Fine. But moving on, what are we going to get you to wear? You’ll never get a second glance in a T-shirt and capris, Raegan. You’ve got to put out some sexy!” Kata exclaimed and started digging through my closet.
“I don’t own sexy, Kata. I own T-shirts and capris.” I look down at my faded green shirt from Old Navy and the washed out jeans I’m wearing with a hole in each knee and one in the back of my thigh.
“Yes, you do. And I’m about to help you unravel it!” Kata screeched right before she pulled my shirt from my torso and threw it onto my floor.
“Kata, what are you doing? I told you, my parents are-” I was interrupted by a sweet strawberry scent forced upon my lips and a tongue pushing into my mouth.
“Mm” I moan, gently taking Kara’s hips into my hands and migrating lower.
She pushed me onto my soft blue comforter, entangled her hands in my cocoa colored chestnut hair and pulled just enough to get me to let another moan escape. I could feel myself getting wet, and she must have sensed it because she began to unbutton my jeans and slide the zipper down enough to get her hand into my pants.
“Kata, I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”
“That’s funny, because some other parts of you seem to feel a bit different.” She breathed as she ran her finger past my clit and dove a little deeper.
“Kata, I really don’t think, mmmahha!” I moaned a bit louder than I intended to and she immediately planted her hand upon my mouth.
“Raegan, you have to be quiet. What if your mother hears you?”
As if on cue, my mother pushed open the slightly ajar door and gasped.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she yelled towards us and shielded her eyes with her hand.
“Get off my daughter, you sick bitch! What are you doing to her?”
“Mom, relax. Kata’s not doing anything.” I started to say more but she wouldn’t listen.
“What are you doing, Raegan? Don’t you know that’s a sin? Haven’t we raised you better than that?” My mother asked me, looking baffled and angry at the same time.
“No, mom. It’s okay! I’m in love with-“
“Don’t you dare call me your mother, Raegan Francesca O’Connor. I will have no daughter of mine committing such sins. Get out of my house!”
“But mom-“
“I said out, damn it! You are a disgrace to this family. Leave!” My mother yelled towards me. I didn’t know what to do, so I grabbed my shirt off the floor quickly, forced it over my head and motioned for Kata to follow me.
“I’m so sorry, Raegan,” Kata said as soon as we were out of my house. “I really didn’t think your mom would come in. If I had known, I never would have started anything.”
“It’s not your fault. My mom’s just ignorant. She’ll get used to the idea eventually.”
“Well, until then, do you want to stay with me? You know, at my house?”
I was broken out of my flashback by David, who was waving a hairy hand in front of my face. It smelled slightly like lemons, but I decided not to mention it.
“What were you thinking about, just there?” David asked me.
“Nothing.”
“It most definitely was not nothing, Raegan. You were smiling so brightly until a few moments ago when your entire face just went outcast. What happened?”
“Kata.”
“What about Kata?”
“She was with me before the party.”
“Oh, so now there’s a party? You didn’t mention there was a party.” He added.
Of course there was a fucking party.
“Okay, where do the directions say to go to now?” Kata asked me, looking over from the driver’s side briefly.
“It says turn left on Maple Avenue and it’s the fourth house on the left…” I say.
“There it is! I’m so excited! Aren’t you?” Kata asks me, and I can’t lie to her.
“Not really,”
“Why?”
“Because of earlier…”
“Will you stop fretting over that? You look hot, okay? Go have some fun!”
Kata was right about one thing: I look hot. I’m wearing her blue bikini top with the jewels on the sides and a pair of her shortest dark blue jean shorts with the little cuffs on the ends. She also curled my hair, did my make up like a rock star and lent me some huge hoop earrings.
When we walked to the backyard, we got more attention than I was hoping for. A few guys who were already drunk wolf whistled at us, and one guy called out, “Hey, baby! You want to grab a bed now or later?”
A while later, everyone had calmed down. Well, on that aspect at least. Now, a bunch of us were sitting in a circle playing spin the bottle. This guy, Alec, spun it and it landed right on Kata. She tried to smile, but I know she was nervous. This guy was a senior, with tan skin and a prick haircut. He looked sex hungry, and she wasn’t the type to put out.
“Come here, babe. Let’s get a room early, huh?”
“Um, I thought it was just a kiss...” Kata said nervously.
“That’s not how we play here, honey. You’re playing with the big boys. You in or out?”
That’s when I knew there was a problem. Kata couldn’t refuse a challenge; it was against everything she believed in.
“I’m in.”
The game continued until another guy, one of Alec’s friends, walked over with a bag with something in it, some lighters, and some weird looking vase thing.
“You guys want to?” he asked the group.
There were several murmurs and then everyone quieted down and began breathing in from the vase. They were passing it around the circle, everyone lighting it when it got to them. When the purple and blue swirl patterned vase got to me, I froze. I’ve never used a lighter, and I don’t even know what this is. It’s kind of heavy, and it smells like oil and herbs and skunk all at the same time. I look around, and the girl next to me looks really impatient.
“What do I do with this?” I ask, sounding stupid.
“It’s her first time! A guy I learn to be Ryan says loudly. “Stevie, why don’t you help her out?” So Stevie walked across the circle and sat next to me.
“Okay,” he said. “This is what you do. Put your mouth on the top, and wait until I light it.”
He lit this thing on the side of the vase that looked like glass and something that looked like a spice started burning.
“Now,” Stevie continued, “Breathe in as much as you can. If it starts to hurt, ignore the burn and keep going.”
I did as he told me, but I couldn’t breathe much in. The back of my throat felt like it was smoked raw and I started coughing like I had the flu. I tried to pass it to the girl next to me, but Stevie told me to go again. We repeated the steps we just had, and I once again breathed in until my throat felt fiery and raw. This time I coughed much less, and the girl next to me gladly took the vase and the lighter.
I start to feel really light headed, and when I close my eyes and open them again I see colors I don’t normally see. The vase gets passed around the circle a bunch of times, I lost track after around seven. By now, I feel great. My arms and legs are tingling, and I can’t stop giggling. I don’t even think anything’s funny.
“Hey, Raegan. Why don’t you come with me? We can grab pizza or something.” Stevie says, holding his hand out to me.
I realize how hungry I am and quickly agree, taking his hand and falling back down onto the grass. Stevie fell with me and landed on top of me, eye to eye. He looked at me for a minute and then looked at my lips.
“You want to?” he asks me in a deep whisper.
“Do I want to what?” I ask, confused at what he’s saying.
Stevie gets off of me and helps me onto my feet, I’m having trouble walking in a straight line, but by the time we get up to the house I’m getting better. He leads me into a room with sheets a mess and a night light the only light on in the room.
“Why don’t you sit down while I get the pizza? He says to me.
I agree, and sit down on the bed and lean against the headrest, my feet trying to reach the end of the bed. Stevie walks over to the door, shuts it, and walks back towards me.
“I thought you were going to get pizza?” I asked him.
“We can wait till later, okay?”
“Okay...” I mumble, slipping onto the bed in that comfortable haze you only get while high.
Stevie smiled at me and got on top of me, removing his shirt as he did so.
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
“You.”
With that, he presses his lips against mine and pushes his rough tongue into my teeth. I try to resist but he’s far heavier than me, and I’m still light headed. Stevie moves his hands over my chest and begins to fondle my size C chest, unclasping my bra and moving his face down. He slobbers on my breasts, biting harder than Kata ever does. Then, he starts kissing my stomach as he takes my shirt completely off.
“Stop, what are you doing?” I say in a panic. He ignores me.
He fumbles to unbutton my shorts and gets his hand caught in my zipper. He whimpers a bit then keeps going, sliding my shorts off of my legs completely.
“God, you’re wet.” He says before plunging his lips onto my underwear. He bites me a few times, licking my stomach and tracing his slippery tongue on the inside of my thighs. Before I can stop him, he’s pulling down my navy blue thong and throwing it onto the bedroom floor. He looks at me with a smile and then licks my lips and moans. He pushes his tongue into my pussy and sucks on my clit.
“Stop!” I yell, but it does no good.
Stevie slips off his shorts and leaves just his boxers on, a huge erection showing. He slips those off easily and gets back on top of me, positioning his member so it’s near the entrance of my pussy.
“Tell me you want me.” He says in a seductive voice.
“Get off of me!” I yell.
“Tell. Me. You. Want. Me.” He says louder.
He pushes himself into my opening and I can hear myself screaming.
“What, Ray? Do you want me to stop? What do you say?”
“I want you, I want you!” I yell, fighting the tears that are trying their hardest to slip down my cheeks.
“I know, baby, you’re so wet. You love this.” I can’t help it, I start crying and screaming at the same time. I can feel him pushing inside of me, I know I’m bleeding. I’m a virgin.
“Tell me you love it!” he yells, slapping me across the face. It would leave a mark.
“I love it, Stevie. God, I love it!” I yell between sobs. He grabs my arms and squeezes them until they’re bruised black and blue with finger marks all around my arms.
“I know you do. Am I making you climax? I can tell I am, because you’re moaning so loud. You’re coming, Raegan. It’s so sexy.”
I try to fight him off of me but I can’t. I eventually just lie there limp and he seems happy with it. He starts twitching a little and finally he pulls out of me and sets his member on my stomach. A white creamy liquid erupts from his head and spurts onto my stomach and chest. I’m completely disgusted, but I can’t say anything. Stevie winks at me and walks out the door, leaving me on the bed; bleeding, broken.
“And then what happened, Raegan?” David asked me.
“What happened after what?” I ask, holding my arms to my stomach and trying to wipe off the come even though I’ve showered dozens of times since then. I can still feel it.
“What happened after he left?” David presses.
“I said that out loud?” I ask, baffled.
“Yes, Raegan. You were yelling for over a half hour.”
“Shit,” I whisper. “Shit, where was I?”
“Stevie just left you in the room. What happened after that?”
“I…” I try to speak but nothing comes out. The few words that do come out are near silent.
“I went looking for Kata. I saw Alec leaving a bedroom and I walked as quickly as I could over to him.
‘Where’s Kata?’ I asked him.
‘She’s in hell where she belongs. She’s a fucking dyke, Raegan. I can’t believe no one slit that bitch’s throat before me.’ He smirked at me, as if he’s just done the world a favor. As if he was going to get a gold star for murdering my best friend.
I went into the room he left and saw my girlfriend lying on the ground with gashes across her chest, her face, her neck and her legs. Her stomach was bleeding the most and carved in it was ‘lesbo.’ Then I looked next to her naked body and saw a smashed open beer bottle. She had glass shards in her neck and on her face. I was stunned, I couldn’t speak. I ran out of the house and amazingly found the car she drove here with me. I wanted to call my parents, but they kicked me out. I wanted to call Kata, but she was dead. I didn’t know who else to call, so I just grabbed a sweatshirt in the back seat and lay down. I couldn’t fall asleep, so I just waited until morning. My older sister called me asking where I was, and I managed to get out a general address. She started yelling at my mother to get in the car and drive right over. I asked her what was wrong and she told me there were several reported rapes last night and a murder. She told me to run as far as I could towards home and they would get me from there. I couldn’t, though. That rape was me. That murder was Kata. I couldn’t do it. I let out a whimper and hung up the phone. When I tried to get up, I just fell and passed out. And now I’m here, talking to you about why I’m so fucked up. I’m ignoring my old best friends that were sitting outside in the courtyard because they think I’m deranged and I’m drinking water out of this plastic cup because I swear, if I ever see glass again, I’m fucking gone.”
“Raegan, you have to talk to me. I know you’re in a lot of pain right-“
“Shut up! You don’t know what I’ve been through; you don’t know who I am! You don’t know who I was before I was this freak!” I yelled towards the counselor, David Jonhston. I sat there silently, pulling on the brittle hairs I had left after ripping so many out.
“Stop doing that to yourself, Raegan. It’s more than a nervous tick now. It’s a problem.”
“I’m a problem.” I said matter-o-fact.
“You are not a problem, Raegan. What has happened to you is.”
“Nothing happened to me.”
“That’s not what we have heard from the medical department. You have vaginal tearing, swelling and bruising, along with-“
“Stop! Stop, okay! Something happened!”
“And would you care to tell me what exactly that was?”
“No.”
“Why not, Raegan?”
“Because it’s unnatural. It’s wrong.” I started shivering and scratching at my arms. They’ve got multiple bruises lining the outer edges and even the slightest touch brings me back to the party.
“Come on, Ray! It’ll be so much fun! There’ll be all the upperclassmen and fireworks and I heard Stevie’s parents are even going out of town. That means no adults! Period!” Kata exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement and wearing a grin stretched across her face.
“Fine, fine. But we’re coming home after. I am not staying the night at some boy’s house I don’t even know.”
“Yes! Thanks for finally agreeing!” Kata squealed before squeezing my hand and taking my lips on her own.
“Yeah, yeah, knock it off. My parents are home, you know.”
“Why can’t you just tell them? We’ve been official for almost two years. I hate how they think we’re just friends. I love you, Ray.”
“I love you too. But, my parents are incredibly strict on the whole Catholicism thing and I think they’d drown me in holy water if I told them I was a lesbian.”
“Fine. But moving on, what are we going to get you to wear? You’ll never get a second glance in a T-shirt and capris, Raegan. You’ve got to put out some sexy!” Kata exclaimed and started digging through my closet.
“I don’t own sexy, Kata. I own T-shirts and capris.” I look down at my faded green shirt from Old Navy and the washed out jeans I’m wearing with a hole in each knee and one in the back of my thigh.
“Yes, you do. And I’m about to help you unravel it!” Kata screeched right before she pulled my shirt from my torso and threw it onto my floor.
“Kata, what are you doing? I told you, my parents are-” I was interrupted by a sweet strawberry scent forced upon my lips and a tongue pushing into my mouth.
“Mm” I moan, gently taking Kara’s hips into my hands and migrating lower.
She pushed me onto my soft blue comforter, entangled her hands in my cocoa colored chestnut hair and pulled just enough to get me to let another moan escape. I could feel myself getting wet, and she must have sensed it because she began to unbutton my jeans and slide the zipper down enough to get her hand into my pants.
“Kata, I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”
“That’s funny, because some other parts of you seem to feel a bit different.” She breathed as she ran her finger past my clit and dove a little deeper.
“Kata, I really don’t think, mmmahha!” I moaned a bit louder than I intended to and she immediately planted her hand upon my mouth.
“Raegan, you have to be quiet. What if your mother hears you?”
As if on cue, my mother pushed open the slightly ajar door and gasped.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she yelled towards us and shielded her eyes with her hand.
“Get off my daughter, you sick bitch! What are you doing to her?”
“Mom, relax. Kata’s not doing anything.” I started to say more but she wouldn’t listen.
“What are you doing, Raegan? Don’t you know that’s a sin? Haven’t we raised you better than that?” My mother asked me, looking baffled and angry at the same time.
“No, mom. It’s okay! I’m in love with-“
“Don’t you dare call me your mother, Raegan Francesca O’Connor. I will have no daughter of mine committing such sins. Get out of my house!”
“But mom-“
“I said out, damn it! You are a disgrace to this family. Leave!” My mother yelled towards me. I didn’t know what to do, so I grabbed my shirt off the floor quickly, forced it over my head and motioned for Kata to follow me.
“I’m so sorry, Raegan,” Kata said as soon as we were out of my house. “I really didn’t think your mom would come in. If I had known, I never would have started anything.”
“It’s not your fault. My mom’s just ignorant. She’ll get used to the idea eventually.”
“Well, until then, do you want to stay with me? You know, at my house?”
I was broken out of my flashback by David, who was waving a hairy hand in front of my face. It smelled slightly like lemons, but I decided not to mention it.
“What were you thinking about, just there?” David asked me.
“Nothing.”
“It most definitely was not nothing, Raegan. You were smiling so brightly until a few moments ago when your entire face just went outcast. What happened?”
“Kata.”
“What about Kata?”
“She was with me before the party.”
“Oh, so now there’s a party? You didn’t mention there was a party.” He added.
Of course there was a fucking party.
“Okay, where do the directions say to go to now?” Kata asked me, looking over from the driver’s side briefly.
“It says turn left on Maple Avenue and it’s the fourth house on the left…” I say.
“There it is! I’m so excited! Aren’t you?” Kata asks me, and I can’t lie to her.
“Not really,”
“Why?”
“Because of earlier…”
“Will you stop fretting over that? You look hot, okay? Go have some fun!”
Kata was right about one thing: I look hot. I’m wearing her blue bikini top with the jewels on the sides and a pair of her shortest dark blue jean shorts with the little cuffs on the ends. She also curled my hair, did my make up like a rock star and lent me some huge hoop earrings.
When we walked to the backyard, we got more attention than I was hoping for. A few guys who were already drunk wolf whistled at us, and one guy called out, “Hey, baby! You want to grab a bed now or later?”
A while later, everyone had calmed down. Well, on that aspect at least. Now, a bunch of us were sitting in a circle playing spin the bottle. This guy, Alec, spun it and it landed right on Kata. She tried to smile, but I know she was nervous. This guy was a senior, with tan skin and a prick haircut. He looked sex hungry, and she wasn’t the type to put out.
“Come here, babe. Let’s get a room early, huh?”
“Um, I thought it was just a kiss...” Kata said nervously.
“That’s not how we play here, honey. You’re playing with the big boys. You in or out?”
That’s when I knew there was a problem. Kata couldn’t refuse a challenge; it was against everything she believed in.
“I’m in.”
The game continued until another guy, one of Alec’s friends, walked over with a bag with something in it, some lighters, and some weird looking vase thing.
“You guys want to?” he asked the group.
There were several murmurs and then everyone quieted down and began breathing in from the vase. They were passing it around the circle, everyone lighting it when it got to them. When the purple and blue swirl patterned vase got to me, I froze. I’ve never used a lighter, and I don’t even know what this is. It’s kind of heavy, and it smells like oil and herbs and skunk all at the same time. I look around, and the girl next to me looks really impatient.
“What do I do with this?” I ask, sounding stupid.
“It’s her first time! A guy I learn to be Ryan says loudly. “Stevie, why don’t you help her out?” So Stevie walked across the circle and sat next to me.
“Okay,” he said. “This is what you do. Put your mouth on the top, and wait until I light it.”
He lit this thing on the side of the vase that looked like glass and something that looked like a spice started burning.
“Now,” Stevie continued, “Breathe in as much as you can. If it starts to hurt, ignore the burn and keep going.”
I did as he told me, but I couldn’t breathe much in. The back of my throat felt like it was smoked raw and I started coughing like I had the flu. I tried to pass it to the girl next to me, but Stevie told me to go again. We repeated the steps we just had, and I once again breathed in until my throat felt fiery and raw. This time I coughed much less, and the girl next to me gladly took the vase and the lighter.
I start to feel really light headed, and when I close my eyes and open them again I see colors I don’t normally see. The vase gets passed around the circle a bunch of times, I lost track after around seven. By now, I feel great. My arms and legs are tingling, and I can’t stop giggling. I don’t even think anything’s funny.
“Hey, Raegan. Why don’t you come with me? We can grab pizza or something.” Stevie says, holding his hand out to me.
I realize how hungry I am and quickly agree, taking his hand and falling back down onto the grass. Stevie fell with me and landed on top of me, eye to eye. He looked at me for a minute and then looked at my lips.
“You want to?” he asks me in a deep whisper.
“Do I want to what?” I ask, confused at what he’s saying.
Stevie gets off of me and helps me onto my feet, I’m having trouble walking in a straight line, but by the time we get up to the house I’m getting better. He leads me into a room with sheets a mess and a night light the only light on in the room.
“Why don’t you sit down while I get the pizza? He says to me.
I agree, and sit down on the bed and lean against the headrest, my feet trying to reach the end of the bed. Stevie walks over to the door, shuts it, and walks back towards me.
“I thought you were going to get pizza?” I asked him.
“We can wait till later, okay?”
“Okay...” I mumble, slipping onto the bed in that comfortable haze you only get while high.
Stevie smiled at me and got on top of me, removing his shirt as he did so.
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
“You.”
With that, he presses his lips against mine and pushes his rough tongue into my teeth. I try to resist but he’s far heavier than me, and I’m still light headed. Stevie moves his hands over my chest and begins to fondle my size C chest, unclasping my bra and moving his face down. He slobbers on my breasts, biting harder than Kata ever does. Then, he starts kissing my stomach as he takes my shirt completely off.
“Stop, what are you doing?” I say in a panic. He ignores me.
He fumbles to unbutton my shorts and gets his hand caught in my zipper. He whimpers a bit then keeps going, sliding my shorts off of my legs completely.
“God, you’re wet.” He says before plunging his lips onto my underwear. He bites me a few times, licking my stomach and tracing his slippery tongue on the inside of my thighs. Before I can stop him, he’s pulling down my navy blue thong and throwing it onto the bedroom floor. He looks at me with a smile and then licks my lips and moans. He pushes his tongue into my pussy and sucks on my clit.
“Stop!” I yell, but it does no good.
Stevie slips off his shorts and leaves just his boxers on, a huge erection showing. He slips those off easily and gets back on top of me, positioning his member so it’s near the entrance of my pussy.
“Tell me you want me.” He says in a seductive voice.
“Get off of me!” I yell.
“Tell. Me. You. Want. Me.” He says louder.
He pushes himself into my opening and I can hear myself screaming.
“What, Ray? Do you want me to stop? What do you say?”
“I want you, I want you!” I yell, fighting the tears that are trying their hardest to slip down my cheeks.
“I know, baby, you’re so wet. You love this.” I can’t help it, I start crying and screaming at the same time. I can feel him pushing inside of me, I know I’m bleeding. I’m a virgin.
“Tell me you love it!” he yells, slapping me across the face. It would leave a mark.
“I love it, Stevie. God, I love it!” I yell between sobs. He grabs my arms and squeezes them until they’re bruised black and blue with finger marks all around my arms.
“I know you do. Am I making you climax? I can tell I am, because you’re moaning so loud. You’re coming, Raegan. It’s so sexy.”
I try to fight him off of me but I can’t. I eventually just lie there limp and he seems happy with it. He starts twitching a little and finally he pulls out of me and sets his member on my stomach. A white creamy liquid erupts from his head and spurts onto my stomach and chest. I’m completely disgusted, but I can’t say anything. Stevie winks at me and walks out the door, leaving me on the bed; bleeding, broken.
“And then what happened, Raegan?” David asked me.
“What happened after what?” I ask, holding my arms to my stomach and trying to wipe off the come even though I’ve showered dozens of times since then. I can still feel it.
“What happened after he left?” David presses.
“I said that out loud?” I ask, baffled.
“Yes, Raegan. You were yelling for over a half hour.”
“Shit,” I whisper. “Shit, where was I?”
“Stevie just left you in the room. What happened after that?”
“I…” I try to speak but nothing comes out. The few words that do come out are near silent.
“I went looking for Kata. I saw Alec leaving a bedroom and I walked as quickly as I could over to him.
‘Where’s Kata?’ I asked him.
‘She’s in hell where she belongs. She’s a fucking dyke, Raegan. I can’t believe no one slit that bitch’s throat before me.’ He smirked at me, as if he’s just done the world a favor. As if he was going to get a gold star for murdering my best friend.
I went into the room he left and saw my girlfriend lying on the ground with gashes across her chest, her face, her neck and her legs. Her stomach was bleeding the most and carved in it was ‘lesbo.’ Then I looked next to her naked body and saw a smashed open beer bottle. She had glass shards in her neck and on her face. I was stunned, I couldn’t speak. I ran out of the house and amazingly found the car she drove here with me. I wanted to call my parents, but they kicked me out. I wanted to call Kata, but she was dead. I didn’t know who else to call, so I just grabbed a sweatshirt in the back seat and lay down. I couldn’t fall asleep, so I just waited until morning. My older sister called me asking where I was, and I managed to get out a general address. She started yelling at my mother to get in the car and drive right over. I asked her what was wrong and she told me there were several reported rapes last night and a murder. She told me to run as far as I could towards home and they would get me from there. I couldn’t, though. That rape was me. That murder was Kata. I couldn’t do it. I let out a whimper and hung up the phone. When I tried to get up, I just fell and passed out. And now I’m here, talking to you about why I’m so fucked up. I’m ignoring my old best friends that were sitting outside in the courtyard because they think I’m deranged and I’m drinking water out of this plastic cup because I swear, if I ever see glass again, I’m fucking gone.”