Passenger Seat

The concept of time of was distorted on tour. At one moment, everything was so fast paced—go here, go there, load in, load out. It was a never ending cycle of driving and physical labor. But then, just like that, the whole world would slow down. The minutes turned to hours and the weeks seemed more like months. I felt as if I'd been gone from home so much longer than one week.

We were back in the van now, packed like sardines. Brian was driving this time with John beside him. Stephen was asleep, his head resting against the window with his beanie pulled down over his eyes. Josh was listening to his iPod and Jess was dozing on and off as well, her head nestled up against my shoulder. I stared out the window, absently gnawing on the inside of my cheek. I wondered how my parents and my sisters were doing back at home. My parents had blown up my phone with texts and voicemails the first night of tour, freaking out over where the hell I was and if I was okay. Looking back, it probably would have been a good idea to leave them a note with some indication of where I was going.

At first they had wanted me to come straight home. They didn't seem to like the idea of having their daughter ride around the country in a van with four guys. I'd somehow managed to convince them that everything would be okay and although they'd put up a good fight, in the end, they both agreed that I could stay on the tour. As I looked out the window, watching as the sun began to set, I felt my phone buzz in my lap. It was Mac.

You'll never guess who's in our van, he wrote.

I sighed, knowing all too well who he was talking about. I have a feeling I won't care, I replied.

Already over stud muffin Seth? he typed back. Seth was the bass player for Heroes and Underdogs and Mac had somehow gotten it into his head that we belonged together. I'd known Seth for a week now and he'd hung out with my friends and me at all the after parties. He was nice, funny, and an all-around good guy, but still, it had only been one week. There was no way I was diving into anything when I had a job to do. I wasn't looking for any awkwardness or drama if things didn't work out.

Can't be over something you were never into, I answered, hoping to get through to Mac this time. Of course it hadn't. The next time my phone buzzed, there was a picture of Mac and Seth with their tongues out on my screen. How charming, I thought to myself.

"Is that Mac?" Jess asked groggily, her head still nestled against my shoulder. She peered down at my phone, squinting her eyes at the screen.

"Yeah, he's being stupid," I said and tucked my phone away into my pocket, deciding I didn't feel like carrying this conversation on any further. "He thinks I like Seth," I scoffed.

"Why would he think you like Seth?" Brian blurted out from the driver's seat.

"Who invited you into this conversation?" I raised my brows at him, folding my arms over my chest. He glanced up into his rearview mirror and grinned.

"This isn't the biggest van and I'm bored. Please, enlighten me with your boy troubles!" he begged, returning his eyes to the road. Josh had drifted off to sleep at this point, his music still playing loud enough for us to hear. John had also fallen asleep, leaving Brian all alone in the front.

"Fine! It's not that exciting though, I can assure you. Seth comes out to hang by the merch table before his set every night. It's not like we stare lovingly into each others eyes. We just talk and watch everyone play," I explained casually. I was hoping that Jess and Brian wouldn't be like Mac. I had just graduated high school after all and I was over all the read-between-the-lines romance crap.

"So you don't like him?" Jess asked mid-yawn. I was silent for a moment, drumming my fingers on my phone.

"I like him," I finally admitted. "But I barely know him. I don't know…" I sighed, gently throwing my head back against the headrest. "I don't want a tour hook-up."

"Well get to know him. See where it goes. You wouldn't want to wonder, right?" Jess replied. Brian cleared his throat, ready to jump in.

"I don't know, Dana. Like you said, you don't really know him. None of us really know any of them. I'd lay low and keep it casual if I were you. Play it safe," he said. I watched him carefully; it was one of those rare moments when Brian wasn't goofing around and was actually acting sincere. He seemed to know what he was talking about and I found myself thinking that, maybe, he was right. Maybe playing it safe would be the smart thing to do. Glancing down at my lap, I unlocked my phone screen and went to my recent texts. The picture of Mac and Seth instantly popped up. I stared at it for a beat before locking the screen again. Maybe Brian was right. Then again, maybe Jess was right too.