When I Think About You

A/N: If anyone's wondering where chapters 39, 40, and 43 are... I don't have the e-mail yet.. but, I'll have them soon. In the meantime, just drop by my inbox and ask me for a summary of those chapters.. I'll try to tell them as best as I can. Sorry for the inconvenience. It's hardly my fault, though.

Chapter 41: Dangerous Waters

"I'll just browse the internet. Promise, I'll be safe here. I won't be bored. If something comes up, I'll call you guys." I said with a reassuring smile as the boys lingered by the front door of our penthouse suite.

"Why won't you come with us, anyway?" Niall asked.

"Because.. It's pretty sunny outside. I don't want to die of heatstroke.. Or worse.. with a sunburn." I answered; exaggeratedly putting the back of my left hand on my forehead and looking up at the ceiling.

"You know, most girls would love to go out to the beach for a tan." Harry pointed out which made me scoff.

"And since when have I been like most girls?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Touché." He muttered and smiled at me.

"Do you promise not to let anyone in?" Zayn asked gently but with an underlying tone of concern.

"I promise. I swear on Niall's overfed goldfish that I will not, under any circumstances, let anyone in; apart from you guys. I'm not 12, you lads." I said with a playful smile before hopping out of my seat and ushering the boys out of the room.

"Now, you lads behave yourselves, okay? No lolly-gagging. And no chocolate while in the car." I directed the last one at Louis who was wearing a white shirt with.. You guess. STRIPES. Ding, ding, ding. We have a stalker! Just joking. LOL.

"Fine." Louis huffed. I gave each of them a hug as well as a kiss ob the cheek; bar Zayn who literally slammed his lips against mine. I giggled and lightly pushed him away.

"Watch out for Glozell. She wants all FIFTH of yous." I said with a laugh while acting all gangsta. To put it lightly, I LOVE THAT WOMAN! "Well, go on.. Or all fifth of yous is gon' be late."

***

After the boys left, I lounged around in the living room with Zayn's Mac on my lap.

@Lil_TommoJANE your an fat n ugly hoar! Die, bitch!

I blinked twice and started typing my reply.

@trulyMaddie1D normally I won't answer this. But, there's a difference between knowing 'your shit' and 'you're shit'.

Some fans came to my aid. God bless them.

@trulyMaddie1D what did @Lil_TommoJANE ever do to you?!

@trulyMaddie1D it's not @Lil_TommoJANE's fault that Zayn loves her.

@trulyMaddie1D if you truly love the boys, you'll accept @Lil_TommoJANE and Zayn's relationship. #trueDirectioner

@Lil_TommoJANE you're a great inspiration to many girls. We love you! ;) #trueDirectioner

As thanks for all those people who defended me, I replied to ALL of their tweets. I looked at the trending tab and saw that #trueDirectioner and Sister Direction were trending.

Wow.. Sister Direction is trending worldwide! I feel so flattered! :D xx #haters gonna hate #trueDirectioner

***

Bù wén bù ruò wén zhï, wén zhī bù ruò jiàn zhī bù ruò zhīzhī bù ruò xíng zhī xué zhìyú xíng zhī ér zhî yî.

I posted that up as my second to the last tweet after talking to tons of fangirls.

Last tweet means: I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand. xx

After spazzing myself all day with the internet, I decided to finally watch some mind-numbing telly. But, even though I was seeing the show, I wasn't understanding it since my brain was busy thinking about what that girl sent me on Twitter.

It had me evaluating/degrading myself. In their eyes, am I really this whore who hangs around the boys too much? Maybe I need to just go back to London; resume school. But.. can I really just leave the boys? Most especially Zayn? I'm sure that Zayn can deal with my absence since he'll always be busy.. But can I deal with being far away from where I really want to be?

"Damn girl." I muttered and punched the empty space next to me since I was sitting in the middle of the sofa.

***

"Lil?" Someone shook me awake. I cracked one eye open and saw Zayn and Louis above me.

"You were crying in your sleep." Louis said worriedly.

"Here's some water." Liam said and handed me a glass of water; it's only now that I realize that I haven't had anything to eat or drink ever since they left this morning. I gulped the water down and Liam got the glass from my shaky hands.

"Why were you crying?" Zayn asked softly as he knelt down beside me on the couch.

"I just.. I was angry." I said in defeat. Zayn has this very irritating gift of telling whether a person is telling the truth or not.

"Why were you angry?" Niall piped up as he munched on some potato chips.

"Because.. this girl from Twitter sent me a hate tweet." I said half-truthfully. Zayn sent me a 'look' that said 'we'll-talk-about-this-later'. I nodded subtly and forced a smile on my face. "But, it's okay now. Just some sleep solved it. Anyone up for KFC?"

***

I laid down in bed with Zayn beside me. He immediately wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him; making me rest my head on his bare chest.

"I want the truth." He said softly as he stroked my hair.

"That girl had me thinking about.. going back to London," Zayn tightened his grip on me and kissed the crown of my head. "She called me a whore.. I mean, what do I look like to other people? Always hanging around you guys..."

"They're just jealous. It only makes sense that you hang out with us.. You're Louis' sister and my better half..." He trailed off which made me kiss his chest. "Don't ever leave me.. Please."

"I can never survive without you." I answered softly before tracing a particularly new tattoo that was next to Zayn's left collar bone. "When did you get this?"

"Last week. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you.." I cut him off.

"No. That's okay. What does it mean?" I whispered and kept admiring the Urdu writing that was inked to his skin forever.

"Be true to who you are.." He whispered and ran a hand down my back which made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"Did it hurt?"

"Getting the tattoo? No. Not at all. Seeing you sad? Yes.. A lot."

"What so you see in your future?" I whispered and trailed my fingers over his chest; a few inches from my face.

"I see.. three children running around in the front lawn. There's me on the front porch.. looking after the kids. Then, a gorgeous woman is bringing me some tea. On her left ring finger is a