When I Think About You

(You'll get the full effect of this chapter if you listen to Standing In Front Of You by Kelly Clarkson. But, you need to start the song when you see the little note that I'll leave. Don't worry, you'll see it.)

"Lil, you need a breather." Cam stated as she plopped down on the bed; her bed.

I answered her by burying my head further into one of her many pillows. Trust me, I would have cried even more if not for the shortage of tears from my tear ducts. So, due ti that shortage, I opted for placing my self in a very angsty state.

"They haven't stopped calling your phone, you know. And Louis just sent you another text." She murmured as she crawled up to lay down next to me on her double bed.

"That's why I put my phone on silent." I snapped at her. "And, it's been... almost a day. They'll get tired of calling me."

"Still, that doesn't change the fact that they're still worried about you.... and the fact that you need a breather." She stated softly; in that tone of hers that seemed too mature for her age.

I let out a sigh, "What did you have in mind?"

"Mum and dad want us to join them for this party tonight." She stated with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Where?" I asked.

"It's on their friend's yacht. You're going to love it there." She said as enthusiastically as possible.

"I bet," I answered dryly. "Can I just stay here?"

"You always have to do it the hard way, don't you?" Cam asked as she placed a hand on the crook of my neck.

"Wha-" I never got to finish my question since in the blink of an eye, I was out cold.

***

"Errgh.." I groaned as my hand automatically flew up to the throbbing spot on the crook of my neck.

"Good, you're awake. I thought that I killed you." Cam said with humor interlacing her voice.

"What did you do to me? And, where am I?" I mumbled with my eyes still closed; my hand still trying to abate the pain that was centered on where Cam placed her hand before I got knocked out.

"You're in the car, dear." Mrs. Deschapel, Cam's mum, said with a warm smile on her face.

"Oh. Hello, Mrs. Deschapel." I mumbled.

"Lil, I've told you time and time again to call me Aunt Ro." She chastised good-naturedly.

"Sorry, Aunt Ro." I whispered.

"How are you feeling, Lil?" Mr. Deschapel asked me from the driver's seat.

"My neck's a little crinked, but I'll live." I answered as I massaged the spot again. "What do they teach you in school here? How to kill people?"

"Self-defense." Cam answered with a smug grin on her face.

"Well, you could have just forced me to wear this..." I looked down at the dress that I was wearing. "wonderful dress."

"You like it?" She asked.

"Like it? I love it! Where did you get this?"

"I designed it especially for you." Cam said with a grin. I reached over and gave her a tight hug.

"I thought you were going to make me wear a potato sack." I said and giggled despite the events that happened yesterday.

"Maybe next time." She answered.

***

"Are you sure that I can drink this?" I asked cautiously as I eyed the martini glass that was in my hands.

"Of course." Cam yelled over the loud music that played in the yacht. "We have parental supervision. It's fine!"

"Well, that's awesome!" I shouted before downing the liquor in one gulp. My throat burned due to the gin, but I just closed my eyes and tried to lose myself to the song as well as the refreshment that was slowly starting to intoxicate me and my senses. Just this once, I won't care about my distaste of liquor and indulge myself. Just tonight.

"Come on, let's dance!" Cam yelled before grabbing my hand and leading me to the dance floor. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson started playing and I danced to the beat with my hands up. Then, this waiter passed by and I grabbed another Martini before downing half of it and raising the glass up and moving to the beat again.

For the majority of the night, I never left Cam's side. I only left her side when I went to get more intoxicated by the liquor that they served. I think you were expecting me to dance with some random guy and start making out with him, but no, I didn't do that. Even though I'm pissed at Zayn for not understanding me, I still loved him too much to do that to him. He is, after all, my fiancé.

By the time that the party was through, Cam was helping me stagger back to the car since I was drunk beyond reason. Let me tell you, when you're drunk, you still know what you're doing, you just lose all your sense of balance and hand-eye coordination. Not to mention the heat that floods your face up to the tips of your ears. And, you just felt the need to laugh.

"That was fun!" I slurred before letting out a loud laugh.

"I told you that you would enjoy it." Cam answered before practically throwing my body in the back seat and taking a seat beside me then closing the door.

"Are you two ready to go?" Mr. Deschapel asked as he looked at Cam and I through the rear view mirror.

"Yes, dad." Cam answered.

"Well, buckle up then. If you feel like you're going to puke your insides out, just yell stop and I'll stop so you can run outside and vomit." He said with a chuckle. He is, hands down, the coolest father alive.

And then, we set off back to the castle.

"Mr. D- I mean, Uncle Drew, can you stop by Hotel-de-Sers for a bit?" I asked softly; suddenly feeling sober as my thoughts were invaded by Zayn and the boys.

"Of course, Lil." He answered with a small smile.

"Thank you." I mumbled sincerely.

Not an hour later, Mr. Deschapel pulled up in front of Hotel-de-Sers. I placed my hand on the door latch and took a deep breath before looking at Cam.

(Start the song now. :D)

"Can you come with me? Please." I whispered helplessly.

"Sure. Mum, dad, this won't take too long." Cam bid and her parents gave me an encouraging nod as I stepped out of the car with wobbly feet. Cam slung an arm around my waist to steady me and we started out trek to the penthouse suite which the boys and I occupied.

"I just need to check on them." I whispered with tears pricking my eyes. I closed them and wiped the stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

"What if someone sees you?" Cam asked as I swayed from side to side; taking her with me.

"I won't know what to do." I mumbled quietly as Cam helped me get out of the metal box that was getting too cramped for me.

Silently, we walked towards the door that led to the inside of the luxurious penthouse. I pressed my ear to the wood and my breath caught in my throat when Zayn's unmistakable voice rang through the thick barrier.

"I should have been more understanding." He said before presumably burying his head in his hands. My heart broke when I heard a sob.

"You should have tried to understand her!" Louis yelled at Zayn. My eyes involuntarily closed themselves as I tried to reign the tears in. "She's gone and it's all your fault!"

"No," I whispered as the traitor tears flowed down my cheeks.

"I know, Louis! I know!" Zayn shouted before throwing something that shattered; making me flinch. "I need some air."

"Let's go, Cam." I whispered before hurriedly staggering to the nearest corner. I pressed my back against the cool wall and peered around the corner only to see Zayn pacing towards me. I held my breath and closed my eyes, hoping to God that he won't turn the corner. I wanted to run to the elevator, but that was at the other end of the hall that I was in.

And, to my great luck, Zayn didn't appear at my part of the hall. I peered around the corner and saw him leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up. His arms rested on top of his knees as his face was cast downward with tears falling from his eyes.

Now I know what they mean when they say 'so close yet so far'. I wanted to reach out to him and hug him... tell him that what we fought about was stupid. I wanted to kiss him senseless and then smack him for not coming after me at Cam's house. I just.. I wanted to forget that yesterday ever happened, but I couldn't. Not when I wanted to prove myself to everyone. Or maybe... that's just my pride speaking. I sat down on the floor and peered around the corner. He was only a few feet away from me.

"Lil, you know what to do." Cam whispered. I nodded silently and hugged her as she got up and silently walked to the elevator. Thankfully, Zayn was too busy crying to look up and acknowledge her quick presence.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I mouthed as tears continued falling from my eyes. She nodded and waved as the elevator doors closed. Once again, the hall was filled with silence; aside from Zayn's silent sobs and his sniffles which made my heart break with each passing second.

I took a deep breath and released it as I tried to calm my heart, and push my pride back down where it couldn't hurt me or anybody else.

Silently, I crawled around the corner and wordlessly wrapped my arms around Zayn's hunched figure. He looked up at me and full-out sobbed before clutching me close to his chest.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." My personal angel whispered as he sniffled silently.

"You're not." I answered silently before smiling slightly and crawling on to his lap and cradling his face in my hands before placing a gentle kiss upon his lips. He hugged me close to him and then pressed his lips to mine again; making me smile slightly. Then, we silently just sat there, with me on his lap, crying silently in each other's arms. I leaned my head on his chest and inhaled the musky scent that I dearly missed.

"I'll never leave you alone." I whispered before closing my eyes and slowly succumbing into the well-needed sleep that my body was craving.