When I Think About You

"Wake up, Lil. Wake up." Someone spoke up from above me and shook me awake.

"H-huh?" I blurted out; sleep still clouding my mind.

"You're getting married today." I opened my eyes a crack and smirked up at my mother who was absolutely beaming. Really, she was brighter than the sun.

"That's good." I answered, still half asleep.

"I think she's still sleeping." Louis' voice rang out in the room.

"What time did you sleep last night?" Cam asked; her voice frantic.

"I... sdfghjkasdgmnbkerrrrghhh..." That response didn't even make sense to me.

"What?" My mum asked with a laugh.

"Give her a good slap in the face." Louis egged someone on. I cracked an eye open and furrowed my eyebrows.

"You're such an arse." I grumbled before opening my other eye.

"Oh, we don't have time for this right now. You, Louis, go and help Zayn fix himself." Mum ushered Louis out of the room which made me grin and poke my tongue out at him.

"But, he's a big boy-" Louis whined, but, we never got to hear the rest of his rant because mum shut the door as soon as he was out of the room.

"Now, for you... go and take a shower. I'll send your make-up artist in here so you can get started. We leave for the chapel in two hours," My mum said hastily before kissing my cheek and hugging me tightly. "Oh, I can't believe that my baby's getting married!"

"Don't cry, mummy.. you're making me teary..." I said softly as I hugged my mum back and buried my face in the crook of her neck; just like I always did when I was a little girl.

She broke away from the hug and wiped her eyes before smiling down at me and kissing my forehead, "I'll be helping Eleanor, Danielle, and Doniya in the next room, okay? Call me when you're done showering."

So, shower, I did. I scrubbed each crevice on my body and wrapped a bath robe around me before stepping out of the shower and just looking at myself in the mirror.

"This is it, Lil. Your official forever with Zayn starts today. Don't forget your vows... and... don't trip. You can do this.." I pep talked myself as tears welled up in my eyes.

"Lil? Are you okay?" Cam asked from outside the bathroom.

"Y-yeah!" I managed to answer; but, with a hoarse voice which sent Cam rushing into the bathroom.

"Why are you crying?" She asked softly as she walked towards me and wrapped her arms around me.

I shook my head as I hugged her back; tears freely falling from my eyes.

"Tears of joy?" She whispered with a light laugh; sniffling at the end.

I nodded wordlessly.

"Lil?" Louis' familiar voice asked from my bedroom. I wiped my tears and walked out there with Cam beside me.

"Yeah, Lou?" I asked softly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked; looking at Cam and sending her a silent message. She nodded and gave me one last hug before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

"Sure. What is i-" I couldn't continue my question since Louis literally just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to his chest before burying his face in my shoulder and sniffling a bit; making my eyes well up with tears.

"I'm gonna miss my baby sister." He said softly; making me shed more tears.

"I'm only getting married, Lou. It's not like I'm gonna leave you forever. I'll always be your baby sister." I tried to reassure Louis without stuttering; tried being the key word. I sounded like a retard because I was sniffling and sobbing as I spoke and hugged him tighter.

"I know that I've never been the best big brother... and that I've never said it enough to you... but, Lil, I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for believing in me when everyone else doubted me. Thank you for being my baby sister. God knows that I couldn't have asked for a better one than you."

His words were enough to make me completely bawl my eyes out. So, I buried my face into his chest, since he was a lot taller than me, and cried to my heart's content.

"You're wrong." I whispered through sobs.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"You're wrong. You're the best big brother in the whole universe and you'll always be the best big brother in the whole universe."

"And, why is that?" He asked with a chuckle; holding me closer to him.

"Because you're the Sass Master from Doncaster; putting the ass in sass ever since 1991. I love you, Lou."

***

After an hour and a half of primping, styling, brushing, touching-up, and everything that had to do with hair and make-up, I was finally set to wear my wedding gown. My make-up artist for today, Christina, smiled and applied a bit more blush to my cheeks before letting me get up off the chair that I was sitting on.

"Chris, can you call my mum for me?" I asked softly.

"Of course, Lil. I'll be right back." She answered and practically ran to the next room and returned with my mum behind her; looking so fab in her silver dress.

"Mummy! You look so lovely!" I exclaimed before admiring my mother who was only 39, turning 40.

"Is it time to put the dress on?" Cam barged into the room with El, Dani, and Doniya which made me laugh lightly.

"Yes," I answered softly. "Have any of you seen Zayn?"

"He wanted to come in here when he went down, but Liam, Niall, and Harry had to drag him off to the chapel." Danielle answered with a grin. I chuckled and reached out to give her a Tommo hug.

"When did you arrive?" I asked conversationally.

"This morning." She answered as they slipped my dress off the mannequin in the corner and walked back to me; helping me put it on after I shamelessly removed my bathrobe and tossed it to a corner.

Once the lacing at the back was tied securely by none other than Cam, they all stepped back and looked at me with awestruck expressions on their faces.

"My baby... you look so beautiful!" My mum gushed before wiping her tears from her eyes. I smiled and bit my bottom lip so that I could keep my tears in so as not to ruin my make-up. The girls all shed a few tears of their own and we were startled out of our emotional moment when three knocks sounded on the door.

El stepped away from the group and opened the door for the person who was on the other side. Louis stepped in the room dressed in a tux, and, I'm guessing that he had suspenders under that blazer. He smiled at me and opened his arms before giving me a Tommo hug which made all the ladies in the room chastise him for wrinkling my gown.

"You look so beautiful!" Louis praised. He's being awfully nice today.

"Thanks! You're looking dapper yourself." I answered with a laugh as he twirled slowly as if flaunting himself.

"I do try." He answered cheekily which made me roll my eyes.

***

"Stop fidgeting, Lil. You're going to wrinkle your dress." Louis chastised as we sat in the bridal car outside the chapel. I looked up at him and sighed before balling my hands up into fists and looking out onto the chapel that was decorated very beautifully.

I bit the inside of my bottom lip and looked at Louis; sure that my nervousness was showing, both in my body language and in my eyes.

"I'm really nervous, Lou." I whispered quietly.

"Don't be, Lil. You're going to be fine." Louis reassured with a smile before placing his hand on my cheek, under the thin veil that covered my face, and stroking it lightly with his thumb.

"But, what if someone speaks up during the ceremony?" I asked softly.

"Then, the gun in my pocket will be put to good use." He answered with a grin which made me laugh.

"You're not being serious, are you?"

"If only I knew how to handle a gun. But, Lil, if someone even dares to put a stop to this wedding, I'm going to march back down the aisle from Zayn's side and bitch slap the fool who wants to ruin my baby sister's wedding." He answered; smiling that infectious smile of his.

"Lou, Lil, places." Cam said as she opened the door on Lou's side. He smiled and helped me out of the car before helping me up to the chapel doors which were closed for the time-being.

"Just relax. It's going to be fine. You look beautiful." Louis reassured me for the umpteenth time which made me release a shaky sigh.

Suddenly, the doors opened and my bridesmaids started filing into the chapel one-by-one. One of mine and Lou's little cousins was the flower girl, so she entered after all the bride's maids. And then, I heard the murmurs of awe when Duchess -Yes. Duchess; my dog- trotted down the aisle with flowers tied to her legs; kind of like bracelets.

"Aw! She's so cute." Someone gushed from the inside of the chapel. I took a deep breath and looked up at Louis who placed my hand on his arm before nodding at me with a teary smile on his face. My eyes welled up and I smiled at him before nodding back and taking a step towards my forever.

I felt all eyes on me as we entered everyone's line of sight. It was really nerve-wracking; having almost 400 people standing there, looking at you like you're a really shiny, new toy. I walked slowly, trying to ease my nervousness, but, I tripped on the carpet which caused everyone in the chapel to laugh quietly. Louis chuckled from beside me and wiped the tears that were threatening to roll down his cheeks. For the first time in a very long time, I actually saw my brother cry in front of me; let alone in public. Yeah, I can hear him sob and I can feel his tears on my shoulder when he cries, but, I don't really see him cry.

I smiled and reached up to wipe the stray tear that Louis didn't manage to wipe away with his fingers. He laughed lightly and got something from the inside of his blazer's pocket before handing it to me. I looked down at his hand and saw that it was a white handkerchief with an 'L' embroided on it. It was the very handkerchief that I spent a week embroiding for him for his 9th birthday.

"Give this back to me later, okay?" He said playfully before gently dabbing my tears away and pressing the handkerchief into my hand. I nodded and wiped the tears that rolled down my cheeks at my brother's sweet gesture.

We started walking forward again and I looked up at the altar where four people in black tuxedos stood. Three of those people had tears in their eyes and were constantly wiping them away, while the fourth person... held his tears in which made his beautiful eyes glossy. His lips held a gentle smile which radiated pure happiness and a bit of smugness. My gaze flitted back to his eyes and I was thoroughly mesmerized at all the emotions that were swimming in them; but, none stood out more than love and adoration which made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

Zayn stepped towards me and held his hand; palm up. Louis stopped a few feet from Zayn and gave me a hug before slowly putting my hand in Zayn's; albeit, a bit reluctantly.

I looked up at Zayn and gave him a teary smile which he returned with a wide grin which made my heart freeze in my chest.

"I love you." He mouthed.

"I love you, too." I answered quietly before stepping up to the altar and listening to the pastor.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." I couldn't hear anything else other than the loud beating of my heart in my chest and the sweet nothings that Zayn whispered in my ear once in a while. I don't even remember why we stood up, sat down, or even knelt down... But, what shook me out of my reverie was when the priest said something about repeating after him for the vows...

"We have our own vows, pastor." I whispered and smiled up at the pastor.

"Alright, then. You may proceed." He answered.

I grasped the ring that Cam held out to me and looked into Zayn's eyes before blushing madly. I hope I don't mess up.

"Zayn, today I become your wife, and you become my husband. But, it's more than just that for me. Today is the start of my official forever with you. A forever that I've been waiting for for my whole life. I promise to respect you as a whole person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in to my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting. I promise you with all my heart that I will always love you through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, and everything in between. I'm not going to say ''til death do us part', because that's just too morbid for such an occasion... and, I know that even in death, I will still continue to love you unconditionally. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you so much."

I slipped the ring on his finger and he smiled up at me before taking the ring from Louis.

"Lil, Though life may not always be as perfect as it is at this moment, I vow to always keep my love as pure as it is today. I promise to be there for you in your laughter and your tears, in your sickness and your health, in your comfort and your fears, for when we win and the very very rare occasion when we lose, when Manchester United is winning, and when they are losing, for richer or poorer... when you buy your £500 Giorgio Armani jeans, for even poorer when I've been shopping a lot," I playfully rolled my eyes as everyone in the chapel laughed. "I love you so much, Lil. And, I know that all these feelings that you make me feel when I think about you will never ever go away. I love you so much and I couldn't have asked for a better best friend, girlfriend, fiancé-now-wife, and mother of my child. I love you so much."

He slipped the ring on my finger and I couldn't help but get this feeling in the pit of my stomach; I felt like I was complete.

"You may now kiss the bride." The pastor stated.

"And please, keep it PG-13." Harry teased from behind Zayn which made me laugh quietly as Zayn lifted my veil up and cupped my cheeks before sealing our wedding vows and this whole wedding ceremony with a tender kiss.

Welcome to forever, Lil.