This Tastes Like Poison

I can't wait to visit you. Things have been hectic around here. Marshall's been doing fine. He says he'll be down a few days after me. Anyways, love you, Dad. See you soon.
- Pattyn.

I clicked send but I didn't move. I thought about everything that had happened in my life to get me to where I am today. My dad and I talk all the time and we've developed a better relationship and understanding of each other. I no longer blame him for the past. That part of my life has been dealt with and I like the turn it's taken now. Why dwell on before, right?

I look behind me and over to my bed. My suitcases are piled up and ready to go. All that's left to do is sleep and then before I know it I'll be on my way to Dad's house. I won't lie; planes scare the hell out of me, but there's no other way of getting there unless I take a cruise ship, which will take days. Twenty one hour flight here I come.

I decide that I don't want to spend my last night before I leave stuck inside, so I exit my room and make my way up the stairs and out the door. The warmth immediately hits me, the sun just setting and igniting the sky with brilliant orange and pink colours. It's sheer bliss. I already know that I'm going to miss this place, but it's only a couple of weeks. I'll be back in no time.

I walk along the water's edge for a bit and then head towards my dock. I like to call it mine because besides Max, I'm the only one who comes out here to think. I suck in a breath of fresh air as I think about how much has changed. How much of me has grown. A year ago today, I had just landed in Australia to stay with my brother for the first time. Now, I'm leaving it to go back to a place I once called home. It all seemed strange, but I had to admit that I missed it a lot.

I felt someone standing behind me and smiled as he sat down so that I was sitting between his legs and his arms were wrapped around me. He kissed the top of my head ever so gently and it sent tingles down my spine. "Hey beautiful", he whispered into my ear.

"Mmmm", I sighed as I turned my face towards his. Our lips met, his so warm and soft, letting me drink him in. We kissed for a long time; savouring our last moments together before I left. It became more passionate and longing and we never wanted to stop. And the amazing thing of all was that we didn't have to. His hands were everywhere, exploring every inch of my body.

"I love you, Pattyn". He whispered before trailing kisses down my neck. I pulled him closer to me wanting more and more of him with every kiss. He was my forever. It was the perfect way to start off summer, but I knew I was going to miss him while I was gone. God, I was going to miss him so much.

"I love you, Landon." I whispered back as we began to peel back our clothes. Throwing everything to the side so that we could become one. I let him take me away. Away from everything that ever existed, everything but us. There was me and there was him and that was all I needed. All I wanted.

-----------------------------------------------

Kids were rushing, planes were heard taking off in the distance, everything was just go, go, go. I finally got through security and am boarding the plane; It only took me a million years. I know I'm just grumpy because I hate planes, but whatever, I don't like heights that much. It doesn't matter how many times I've climbed the Sydney Harbour bridge, or how many times I'll ever get to go to the CN Tower. The point is, that I'll always be afraid of heights.

I quickly find my seat and throw my carry-on luggage above my head and onto the holder. I wonder what movie I'll decide to watch. I need anything that will take my mind off of the fact that this plane is taking off shortly and I'll be thousands of meters up in the air with no way down until landing time.

"Aye, Mate. I guess I'm your flight buddy." A tall, very good-looking guy says as he sits down beside me and flashes me a huge smile. I feel my face blush and smile back. "Alright then, you don't talk. That's cool. I'm Jared." He extends his hand over to me and I shake it.

"Pattyn." I say back. I'm not really in the mood for awkward small talk so I turn away from him, ignore the TV, and reach up to my luggage. I pull out my writing book and a pencil. I might as well do something productive besides watch TV.

I start to write.

You light up my, no that's too cheesy. I scratch it out.

Fire spreading through my , I don't like that. I scratch it out but only enough so that you can still see it if you look hard enough.

I try to think of something else to write. Something that will hold a lot of meaning but also keep me busy. I keep thinking but nothing good comes to mind. I feel myself get frustrated as I huff and sit back in my chair, ignoring the book completely. When it comes, it comes. I can't just force it.

"Telly?" The guy, Jared, says beside me. I look over at him and roll my eyes. He stares at me confusingly but doesn't say anything else. He gets the hint that I don't feel like talking right now and goes back to whatever he was doing before. He doesn't even touch the TV, which I find odd seeing as he just asked me about it, but oh well.

I let my mind fill with thoughts of home. Well, my old home anyways. It'll be a lot different, I know that. Debra will be gone; off to who knows where. The house will probably feel bigger because she won't be in it. I wonder if it'll be a good different or a weird aching different. Thinking about my mom, though not a mom at all, still sends an aching pain through my chest. I try my best to push those thoughts away though, they hurt too much. Besides, I'm trying to forget about her, not keep remembering her.

Instead I focus on thoughts of Marshall and the gang. I especially focus on thoughts of Landon. The way his body feels against mine, the way his smile never fails to have my heart beat racing, and the way he's always saying the cutest things to me. I love that boy to the moon and back. He's perfect.

Adam and I are really close now. I mean, he's my best friend. I guess I can say the same for everyone in the house though. We're a family. I can always depend on them. Max and Jake broke up, but they're still close. I don't exactly know what happened there; they just decided to take a break all of a sudden. Marshall is doing really well with surfing and he's been teaching me some stuff too. Yes, I know. I can now officially surf. I'm pretty good at it too and it's great because it gives me something else to do with the guys when I'm bored. Marshall wants to try and get me sponsored but I don't know if that's exactly what I want yet. I'm still in the thinking about it stage.

I feel my eyes start to get heavy as the plane finally takes off. I chew the gum in my mouth and try my best to not have my ears pop. The plane feels like it's jolting to a stop but that's how I know that we're finally way up in the air and sailing smoothly through the clouds. I make sure not to look out the window throughout the whole ride. Instead, to my surprise at how easy it is, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.