Summer of Love

When I woke Sunday morning, I woke to the sound of rain. I sat in silence with my eyes closed and listened to the gentle fall on the roof, the soft sound of droplets hitting the window and felt tranquil. I had always loved the sound of rain. I thought about the day before, about the time I had spent with Cian and found myself blushing all by myself at just the thought of him. I smiled.

I heard the door open a crack, followed by a female sigh. "Ah, I see your awake."

Sara tip toed over, not wanting to disturb the sereneness of the atmosphere and slipped in beside me beneath my warm blanket. She laid with me to listen to the rain and smiled.

"The sound of rain has healing effects, don't you think?" she asked softly, closing her eyes to enjoy the sound and I sighed.

"I believe it does. I've always found peace with the rain...it's just so calming. I don't understand how people can say its so gloomy and depressing," I murmured, opening my eyes to watch the rain run down my window in the dim light.

She chuckled. "Those are just naturally depressed people. Everything to them is depressing."

"So it would seem," I said quietly with a smile, staring out the window calmly.

She opened her eyes and regarded me carefully. "How was your day with Cian? You didn't say much about it when you guys got back."

I smiled to myself and felt the butterflies come to life just thinking about him. I tilted my head to look at her and sighed.

"You know...I had the best time," I said honestly with a smile and she returned it, relieved.

"I'm glad. Where did you go?" she asked curiously and propped her head on her palm to look at me clearly.

I gazed up at the ceiling, reliving the best moments from yesterday. "We went to the Carnival and went on almost all the rides. We found a photo booth."

I reached over to my bedside table and showed her the portrait we had taken and she laughed.

"Oh my god, Misa. He looks like the devil," she said as she overlooked the photo carefully and smiled. "You look so happy and surprisingly, so does he."

I laughed. "Oh, he hated it! He was so embarrassed that I forced him to play dress up."

She gave a snort. "Dress up...who cares? This picture is awesome!"

I sighed and rolled on my side to face her, the smile leaving my face. "I'm so confused when it comes to him. Yesterday...he told me he forced me out of the house so I could remember what having fun was like."

I looked away with a sigh, my face heating with embarrassment. "He said he wanted to see me smile again," I said softly as I traced circles on the bed between us and she blinked in surprise.

"Wow, he must really like you," she said in awe and I blushed furiously, but shook my head.

"He was just being a good friend. We have known each other since we were just kids," I murmured and closed my eyes. Somewhere deep inside me, I wished it were different.

She shook her head and looked at me seriously. "No, he seriously has a thing for you. Think about it, Misa."

I sat up with a sigh, growing depressed just thinking about it. I folded my arms around my knees and drew them to my chest, resting my head on them. The rain continued softly, soothing my growing frustration.

"This is why I'm so confused. He annoys me and picks on me, and then he goes and acts like this. I don't know what to think, what to do," I said honestly and rubbed my tired eyes.

"What you need to do is tell him how you feel. You guys fight like cats and dogs, but it seems to work for you. It's your way of getting along," she said with a shrug and I rolled my eyes with a sigh and stretched my arms above my head before flopping back to gaze out the window.

"I don't really want to say anything. It's too embarrassing and the last thing I want is to get shut down."

"Who says you will?"

"Who says I won't?"

She sighed in exasperation and sat up to look me in the eyes. "You'll never know until you try. If it's what you really want...go for it."

I mulled over her words, not knowing that Cian stood just outside the door, listening to our conversation in silence.

I groaned and rubbed my face. "Ugh, I don't know!" I moaned and frowned into her smiling eyes.

"Just do it. You'll feel a lot better, trust me," she said with a wink and I sighed.

My phone began to ring. I reached for it on my dresser and flipped it open to read the text. I re-read it three more times, my heart racing in my chest at the unexpected request. Jordan had sent me the text. Jordan had my number. Jordan wanted me to meet him at the park across the school at noon.

Surprised, I looked over to my clock and saw that it was already 10:00 and gasped. I shot out of bed, ignoring Sara's curious questions and locked myself in the bathroom to shower and get ready. By the time I had finished, I realized I had left my phone on the bed and Sara had read the message. She looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"What about Cian?" she asked suspiciously and I felt my head swim with confusion and groaned.

"I can't think about that now! I'll be back later!" I cried as I quickly threw on some clothes and bolted out the door. I almost bumped into Hannah in the hallway, but I deftly dodged her, apologized, grabbed my umbrella and slipped my shoes on before bursting out the door and ran. I hadn't noticed Cian sitting in the living room, watching me passively.

When I arrived at the park, I was out of breath and paused to give myself recovery time before checking my watch. I still had time left and decided to rest on a swing. Birds chirped merrily in the cool breeze and colored leaves fell from the trees around the park. Children's laughter rang in the distance and I took a deep breath, enjoying the crispness of the autumn air and the taste of the rain. The scent of wet earth was calming.

"You should have replied. I almost didn't come."

Startled, I gave a cry and almost fell off the swing when I pair of strong arms steadied me and I found myself staring up into familiar entrancing emerald green eyes. My face turned bright red and he smiled.

I straightened stiffly with embarrassment and nerves, my eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I had to jump in the shower. I just woke when you text," I said sheepishly.

Holding his umbrella, he stood before me with his hand in his pocket and chuckled. "It's no big deal. Would you like to get lunch?"

I blinked in surprise before giving in with a smile. "Sure!"

Together we made our way to the cafe and were greeted by a surprised Caroline and Tori.

"Misa! This has got to be the first time I've seen you here as a customer!" Caroline said with pleasured surprise and led us to a table near the window. It was as if she knew my love for the rain.

I sipped my chamomile tea and waited for the parfait I had ordered while Jordan lounged back and watched me curiously with that mysterious smile of his.

"Have you thought about my confession, Misa?" he asked, his voice sensual and smooth like honey. I stiffened with surprise and nervousness, my heart breaking out into a sprint and hesitantly met his gaze.

"Um...I've thought about it, yes...but..." I stuttered nervously, feeling like a giant, ugly tomato with my beet red face and he laughed softly and rested his chin on his hands, his eyes dancing.

"You are so adorable, Misa. Now, what is this 'but' business?" he asked curiously, still smiling though something unreadable passed through his eyes. Red flags were raised in my brain, but I didn't acknowledge them.

I looked away nervously and wrung my hands. "Well...you weren't the only one who confessed to me that night."

His eyebrows raised in mock surprise. "Oh?"

I still refused to look at him and missed the glint that flashed in his eye; a hint of possessive jealousy.

"I'm just a little confused right now and...I don't think right now is the best time for me to worry about choosing. Besides, not to be rude...but I barely know you," I admitted shyly, feeling awkward and pinned on the spot. The warning flags flared, but disappeared as soon as they came.

His eyes narrowed as he looked out the window. "It was that friend of yours, wasn't it?"

His voice was calm and casual, but I picked up on the underlying tone that caused intense warnings to ring and this time, I noticed and eyed him carefully.

"That's right," I responded with a tint of frostiness to my voice. He caught on and looked at me with innocent surprise before settling into a mysterious smile.

"That's okay, I understand. With your brother's death and all, it's completely understandable that you are confused. You have enough on your plate right now without having to worry about something as petty as this," he said honestly with a chuckle and regarded me with an ashamed frown. "Forgive me for saying such things the day after your brother had passed away."

He seemed to sincere. The warnings disappeared and he seemed just like the Jordan I remembered and I relaxed into a smile.

"It's okay, I don't really mind," I said shyly and gazed down at my hands like a girl on her first date.

I was surprised when my thoughts immediately traveled to Cian. This wasn't my first date. Yesterday, the time I had spent with Cian was my real first date. My eyes widened and suddenly began to think that being here with Jordan was a bad thing. As handsome and charming as he was, he hadn't tried anything near to what Cian had just to make me happy. Right then in that moment, I needed to be with Cian.

I jumped to my feet, causing everyone to look at me in surprise and I looked down at Jordan apologetically.

"I'm sorry...I have to go!" I said hurriedly and grabbed my umbrella, rushing past my friends and straight out the door into the rain.

I didn't even open my umbrella. Somehow I felt as though I had betrayed Cian. I don't know why, it's not like we were even dating. Something just felt wrong. I ran through the rain, heaving in deep breaths as I flew through the streets to my house and threw open the door. The house was silent and I was alone. I didn't even remove my shoes as I walked into the living room and picked up the note that was left there.

Misa,

Jack and I went to the movies. I went out of my way to make you dinner, so now you have to tell me all the juicy details about your date with Jordan!

Beneath was a message from Hannah, saying that her and Jack had gone out as well for the rest of the day. There was nothing from Cian, but it was obvious he wasn't anywhere to be seen and I felt my heart sink. I was all alone. Suddenly I wasn't hungry and feeling oddly remote, slipped off my shoes and made my way upstairs to my room. I was soaking from head to toe. The only thing that kept the atmosphere from complete silence, was the sound of the rain. However, it was no longer comforting. It only made me all too aware how alone I really was.

I stepped into my bedroom and crawled right into bed to stare blindly out the window. I curled myself into a ball and felt the tears sting my eyes.

I'm all alone. They broke their promise.

Fear filled my heart and I curled tightly into myself, the tears escaping my eyes as I squeezed them closed. I no longer held a clear head and the fear made me irrational. It was obvious I was freaking out about nothing, but I was just so scared to be alone. I was never alone when Derek was here, not really. When he was at University, he called every day and came home on weekends. Now, there was nothing but the sound of the rain and ticking clock behind me.