Summer of Love

The days rolled together, passing by without a care in the world. Christmas came fast. While the others were studying for the exams in January, I was worrying over presents. I had yet to go shopping for everyone. When I woke this morning it didn’t take me long to realize that this would be the first Christmas without Derek. It hurt, it really did. I managed though. I tried to push it from my mind as I went on with my day.

Sara and Jack had long since left the house. They had gone out to a movie, having finished their shopping weeks ago. Hannah and Fox had gone for a nice long walk through the park. Cian had gone out earlier before I had even woke up. That left me all alone to my own devices so I decided to shop. Being alone gave me a good chance to purchase their gifts and possibly wrap them before they returned.

I strolled down the busy snow covered streets. People bustled by laughing and chatting with their companions. Cars plowed through the freshly scraped streets. Snow fell from the sky, drifting down like cold white feathers. I was thankful that the sidewalks had been cleaned. I stopped in front of the local mall downtown and slipped inside. I embraced the blast of warm air that greeted me and sighed. I reached inside my pocket and withdrew the piece of paper I had brought. Overlooking it, I saw the gifts that I had wanted to get and got to it. First I stopped at Spencer’s to purchase a naughty gift for Sara and Jack. Ever since the store had opened, she had always talked about it. Next I stopped at the bookstore. It didn’t surprised me that both Hannah and Fox were book nerds. Passing by a tiny booth in the center of the mall, I noticed a key-chain with a cat’s eye hanging from it. It reminded me of Jordan for some reason, so I added it to my piles of gifts. I gazed down at the paper and frowned. Beside Cian’s name was blank. I hadn’t figured out what I wanted to get him.

I tried to think of all the things he liked. I focused on past conversations, trying to pin down something he always talked about. I know he liked sports. I know he liked music. I know he liked books. Damn, he pretty much liked everything. I sighed and began checking in to every store I passed. I waited for something to catch my eye, but nothing did. After an hour, I gave up and paused for a lunch break. I nibbled on my sandwich and wondered what would be the best gift I could give him. I thought of what I had given him in the past and realized I wanted this year to be different. It was after all, with the sudden change between us. I wanted it to be special.

I continued my trek around the mall. I looked at everything carefully, thoughtfully. I never knew that finding a gift for him would prove so complicated. I wandered aimlessly around the mall with a sigh. In the distance I saw a flash of blond. Immediately I thought of Jordan and pursued. Sure enough Jordan stood off to the side eying some shirts on display. Girl’s shirts.

I smiled. “Christmas shopping?”

His head snapped up in surprise. “Oh, hey!”

He gazed back down at the shirts and a light blush dusted his cheeks. I lifted an eyebrow as he turned his body to face me. He smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have waited so long,” he laughed.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m doing the same thing.” I thought about the key-chain in my bag. Suddenly it weighed a ton.

His eyes twinkled. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

I gave a shrug and he chuckled. We walked around the mall talking aimlessly about everything and nothing in particular. It surprised me how easy it was to talk to him. He made me laugh and I never felt uncomfortable in his presence. It made me wonder what Cian had been talking about. At that thought I knew he wouldn’t like me with Jordan right now. I dismissed the thought because after all, he was just a friend and I enjoyed his company.

His eyes passed over my bags, and smiled. “I see you’ve done most of your shopping already.”

I nodded. “I just have one left and it’s proving to be the hardest.” I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

“Who is the last person on that list of yours?”

“Cian.”

His smile fell and a look of sadness past over his face. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”

I chewed my lip. “Not particularly.”

He ran a hand through his hair, seeming distressed. “Why? I’ve only met him a few times.”

We continued to walk slowly side by side. “I don’t know. He just made it clear to me that he didn’t like me hanging out with you.”

He looked at me carefully. “So why are you?”

I smiled at him. “You’re a cool guy.”

He chuckled, the tension leaving the atmosphere. “Is that it?”

I pretended to pause and think. He laughed and nudged me with his elbow. I laughed with him as we began our second loop around the mall. I wasn’t even worth it for me to count the times I had done this already.

“I guess he’d be pretty upset if he saw me with you right now, huh?” The tension had returned with a sadness I couldn’t understand.

I frowned. “Probably, but I made it clear I can talk to whoever I want to.”

His lips curled slightly. “I bet he didn’t like that at all.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Not really, but no one tells me what to do without a good explanation.”

“What did he say about me?” Jordan asked hesitantly. I bit the inside of my cheek with a frown.

“Are you sure you want to know that?”

“That bad?”

“It was pretty bad to me.”

“I can handle it.”

I sighed. “Well he said that he doesn’t trust you and that...well you...beat your previous girlfriends.” I mumbled the last part but he had heard.

He groaned and covered his face in his hands. “Why does everything think that? I went to open the door and didn’t realize she was standing behind it and hit her in the face. It was an accident!”

He looked so upset and hurt that my heart gave a tug. Feeling bad for him, I slipped an arm through his as we paused by a bench. I pulled him to sit down beside me and faced him. He refused to meet my eye with that boyish face. I wondered what it would be like to be viewed as a woman beater when you were innocent. To have people glare at you and whisper as you past. To have girls and woman alike look at you in disgust or fear.

I rested a hand on his shoulder. “If it makes a difference, I don’t believe that for one second.”

Those green orbs met mine and he managed a smile. “Thanks.” His voice was gruff.

I rubbed his arm with my hand and smiled. I sat back with a sigh and watched the people rush around in the countdown to Christmas. It was silent for a moment until he rose to his feet. Confused, I watched as he turned to me. He smiled and held out his hand.

“Let’s go find that gift.”

Surprised, I smiled and accepted his hand. He helped me to my feet but didn’t release my hand. He dragged me from store to store, asking about Cian. He asked about his personality and what he liked. I told him everything I knew and he held up appropriate items for me to decide on. I shouldn’t have been surprised at how good he was at this. He led me inside a unique jewelers and showed me to the chains. I stared at the different kinds from thick rope to thin, gold to silver. My eyes past over a simple threaded silver chain. It would match perfectly with his looks. I smiled when I noticed the pendant hanging from the end. In sterling silver, the dragon curled with wings unfurled and jaw open. He was my protector.

I purchased the chain and tucked it away safely in my purse. We were finally able to leave the mall and get a breather.

The breeze was cool, our breath misting in front of us. “Thanks for the help.”

He smiled and tucked his hands in his pockets. “No problem at all. I had nothing better to do anyway.”

I laughed and touched his arm before turning away. I was heading to the street when he caught up with me.

“Would you care for some company?” he asked.

I smiled and gestured back to the mall. “I thought you were here to do some shopping?”

He gave a shrug. “I can always come back another day.”

I smiled at his sweetness and gave a nod. We started down the street through the light layer of snow. Cars sped by on their usual routes. Horns honked and sirens sounded. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like in the country. Would it be silent and peaceful or would I miss the noise from the city?

“What are you thinking about?” Jordan asked curiously.

I smiled. “I was just thinking what it would be like in the country.”

He nodded. “I lived in the country once when I was little. It was quiet and peaceful unlike all the noise and crowds here.”

I looked at him in surprise. “You grew up in the country?”

“I sure did.”

“I’ve never been in the country. My life consists the city and that’s about it. Hopefully when I can afford a car I can go one day.”

It was his turn to be surprised. “You’ve never been outside the city?”

I shook my head as we rounded the corner and stopped at the lights.

He blinked. “That’s almost unheard of. I’ve never met someone who has never been to the country.”

I laughed and gave a shrug. “I’ve never had a need to leave.”

“Never had the sense of adventure?” The light flashed the white walking man and we stepped onto the street.

“Not really. I’ve been preoccupied with my life here. Besides, I don’t have much free time as you’ve must have noticed,” I chuckled.

He shook his head, smiling. “Well, one day we’ll go and I’ll show you what you’re missing.”

I was tempted to take him on his offer. Though, I knew if Cian ever found out, he’d kill me. Then again, it was a free country and I could what I wanted. Jordan was just a friend, no different from Jack or Fox.

I smiled. “Sure, I’d like that.”

He returned the smile and branched off into a different topic. It ranged from world issues, to religion. We had landed on the subject of whether ghosts existed or not by the time we reached my house.

“They do so exist!” I laughed. “I know what I’ve seen!”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, are you sure you weren’t just hallucinating?”

“Um, I’m positive I wasn’t.”

“Sure, sure...”

“I’m serious!”

He laughed, his eyes sparkling as we came to a stop at my gate. His eyes surveyed my house as he sighed. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but I wasn’t going to pry. If he wanted to, he would. I opened the gate and stepped inside, turning with a smile to close it.

“Thanks for helping me today and keeping me company. I had fun,” I said honestly.

He managed a smile and ducked his head. “I did to and you’re more than welcome. See you around.”

He treated me to a mock salute and headed off down the sidewalk. Smiling and shaking my head, I turned and mounted the steps. I dug through my purse and pulled out my keys. I slipped them into the lock and turned before opening the door. Closing it behind me, I surveyed the house and saw no one had returned. Smiling, I kicked off my shoes and flew up the stairs. I dropped the bags on my bed and began rummaging through my closet. I grunted with satisfaction when I found the wrapping paper I had hidden there. Needing tape and scissors, I skipped down the stairs into the kitchen. There I saw Cian.

He sat at the dining table in silence. His chin rested on the palm of his hand, his eyes trained on the falling snow beyond the window. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking because his face was unreadable. He didn’t even turn to look in my direction.

I forced a smile. “Hey.”

He tilted his head to look at me. His eyes were as unreadable as his expression.

“Hey.”

Feeling awkward and nervous, I opened the fridge and searched for nothing in particular. I grabbed a bottle of water and closed it behind me. Twisting off the cap, I stole a glance his way. He was still watching me carefully.

“Okay...what’s up?” I asked, striding over to sit at the table. I looked across at him pointedly.

He leaned back in his chair and looked down at the tabletop. “I saw you at the mall.”

Immediately my thoughts traveled to Jordan. He must have seen us together. Worse, he might have seen Jordan holding my hand.

I sighed. “Yes, I was Christmas shopping.”

“With Jordan?”

I twisted off the cap to my bottle and took a sip. “He was already there to begin with doing the same thing as me, Christmas shopping.”

“Right.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Is it really going to be this way every time I randomly run into Jordan?”

His eyes pierced mine. “Randomly run into Jordan?” He lifted an eyebrow.

I groaned and pushed my face into my hands, frustrated. “Yes, randomly running into Jordan!”

“If you say so,” he said in disbelief and pushed back from the table.

I slammed my hand down on the table. “Just stop it already! I’ve had enough with this crap.”

He reached into the fridge and removed a bottle of beer. Since when did I allow booze in my house?

He popped off the top and took a swig. His eyes stayed on mine.

My face hardened. “I’m sick and tired of listening to this bull every time something like this happens. Either you deal with it, or you walk.”

His eyes glittered. He set down his bottle and walked over. Bracing his hands on either side of my chair, he leaned down. His face was inches from my own. I knew he was angry.

“Giving me an ultimatum, Misa?” he asked calmly. His breath was warm as it washed over my face.

I wanted to snarl. “I guess I am.”

His eyes narrowed before he pulled away with a sigh. “Why bother with something so serious when there is nothing between us?”

I felt as if I had been slapped in the face. I opened my mouth and felt like a fish out of water when no words came out. He lifted his eyebrows before reaching for his beer. He took another swig before turning and disappearing into the living room. I heard the TV turn on and sport commentary blare in the background.

I sat there in disbelief. My heart slithered up into my throat. My blood was cold in my veins and I felt dizzy and confused. All of those kisses...they meant nothing. My happiness traveled straight down the drain. I swallowed the rising lump in my throat and forced back the tears. They pricked my eyes hotly but I held them in until I made my escape. I moved to the stairs like a robot and began to ascend. The door opened and Sara’s laughter drifted inside.

“There you are! Did you managed to go shopping?”

I felt ready to break down. My knees shook so bad, I thought I was going to collapse on the staircase. I took a deep breath and managed a smile before turning around.

“Oh yeah...I just got back,” I said quietly. I mentally cursed myself when my voice cracked at the end.

Sara tuned in quickly and her eyes searched my face. Hannah exchanged a look with Fox, who stared at me intensely. I tried to smile wider but I couldn’t hold it in. My smile crumpled and my eyes filled with unwanted tears. Before they could escape I tore up the stairs and hurried to my room. Sara and Hannah followed behind and gently closed my door.

“Honey, what happened?” asked Sara softly. She sat on the edge of the bed beside me as the tears streamed down my face.

I swallowed. “I went Christmas shopping and bumped into Jordan.”

She nodded and I took a deep breath. “Cian saw us walking together. Jordan was helping me pick out his gift because I was having trouble.”

Her eyes narrowed. “So what does this have to do with you being so upset?”

I told her. Retelling the story only made me feel worse. I fell back on my bed and sniffled.

“I can’t believe he said that!” Hannah said, her pixie face showing her surprise.

Sara shook her head and nestled beside me. Hannah followed suit. I felt a little better having my friends surrounding me. It didn’t rid me of the hurt I felt in my heart.

“If he wants to be that way, then let him. Don’t let it get to you, Misa.”

“She’s right,” Hannah said softly. She pulled her fingers through my hair soothingly. “Let him figure out he was in the wrong.”

“He’ll come around,” Sara agreed with a nod.

I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath. “I just can’t believe he said that after everything.”

Her face softened and she touched my forehead. “I know, sweetheart.”

I shook my head and sat up. I calmed myself and took another breath to steady my drumming heartbeat.

“Whatever, you guys are right. I’m not going to let it bother me. I have other things to worry about.”

After they left, I hopped into the shower. The hot water was calming and I was thankful for that. When I stepped out, I slipped on a robe and headed downstairs. I found my way to the kitchen with thoughts for dinner. My stomach growled despite having eaten at the mall. I looked through the freezer and fridge for ideas of what to make. When I decided I didn’t feel like cooking, I picked up the phone and ordered pizza.

The doorbell rang. I waited but no one answered it and I sighed. They must be in their rooms. Not caring that I was in my robe, I moved to the door and opened it. Jordan stood there with his hands in his pockets, his green eyes worried.

I stared in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

He looked away and scratched his head. “Your friend just went out and passed me on the street with her boyfriend.” He looked at me hesitantly. “She told me what happened.”

Ah, Sara. I sighed and stepped aside to invite him in. I closed the door behind him as he removed his shoes. I led the way into the living room and gestured for him to sit.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked politely.

He smiled and shook his head. “I’m fine for now, thanks.”

I sat down beside him on the couch and curled my feet beneath me. Running a hand through my hair, I eyed him suspiciously.

“What all did she say?”

He cleared his throat. “She told me that your friend flipped out when you got home after seeing us at the mall together.”

I glowered out the window. “He’s such a jealous prick.”

He chuckled and lounged back, making himself at home. “I would be too.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why?”

He shrugged. “You’re a beautiful woman. It would be hard not to be.”

I mulled it over, turning to look back out the window. It was silent for a few minutes but he didn’t seem to mind. His eyes wandered over the house curiously.

“I don’t know what to do with that boy. He’s so frustrating sometimes,” I admitted after a while.

He smiled wryly. “I can imagine. How are you feeling?”

I turned to him and saw the concern there. His intense stare made me feel as though he could see right through me.

“Well, I’m upset for starters. He has no right to be so controlling.”

He nodded. “That’s completely understandable of course.”

I agreed silently. “I don’t know why he made it into such a big deal.”

“Maybe he’s just jealous. We already know his thoughts about me.”

I sighed impatiently. “That’s nothing, just rumors and nothing more. He’s just being a dink.”

He chuckled when the doorbell rang. I rose from the couch and dug for my wallet in my purse. Opening the door, I smiled at the delivery boy and exchanged money for pizza. Closing the door, I carried it into the living room. I sat down and set it on the table, opening the box. The delicious aroma of melted cheese and spices wafted up into the air. My mouth watered as I took a slice and bit into it hungrily. I gestured to the box.

“Don’t be shy.”

Smiling, he graciously accepted a piece. We ate in silence. When we finished I grabbed some paper towel to wipe our hands. I stepped into the kitchen and began making a pot of coffee when he joined me.

He leaned in the doorway and watched me carefully. “How are you really feeling, Misa?”

I gave a shrug as I scooped out coffee. “I don’t really care much. I have more important things to worry about.”

“Want to go out?”

His question startled me. I paused what I was doing and looked at him. He didn’t smile but watched me carefully. He waited patiently for my response. I thought about how Cian would be even angrier. I steeled myself stubbornly. Let him be angry. He can be angry with himself but I wasn’t about to let him ruin the rest of my night.

I smiled and continued making coffee. “What did you have in mind?”

He seemed visibly relieved. He settled into a smile. “How about a late night movie?”

“Sure, sounds great.”

“It’s a date then.”

I felt my face flush at the mention of a date. He noticed and chuckled quietly. While the coffee brewed, I excused myself to get dressed. I wondered about Cian as I eyed my wardrobe. Was this really the right thing to do? I shook those thoughts from my head and hardened my resolve. He had said something hurtful on purpose so now he could deal with the consequences.

I settled on a simple getup consisting of jeans and a long sleeved cashmere turtle neck. I brushed the knots from my hair and let it dry as it was. I applied a minimal amount of makeup and slipped on some warm socks. I exited my room and turned toward the stairs only to freeze. Cian stood there leaning against the wall, his face hard. He refused to look at me. I lifted my chin determinedly and stepped forward. Without saying a word I passed by him down the stairs. I felt his eyes burning holes into the back of my head the entire way.

I found Jordan in the kitchen cradling a cup of fresh coffee. He smiled when he saw me, his eyes trailing from my head down to my toes. When he finished his eyes met mine and they danced.

“You look good.” His eyes smiled at me from over his coffee mug.

I blushed prettily and ducked my head. “Thank you. Did you have any movie in mind?” I asked to change the subject.

I felt his eyes on me as I moved about the kitchen, cleaning up. “Nothing in particular. I was thinking we’d just go and see what’s playing.”

I smiled at him over my shoulder. “Sounds good.”

I turned to him with a smile. “Almost ready to go?”

He tilted his cup, draining the rest of his coffee and grinned. “I am now.”

I laughed as he set his cup in the sink and followed me to the front door. Cian sat on the stairs with his chin rested on his palm.

“Going out?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I looked at him coolly. “Yes, we are.”

He said nothing more and I didn’t spare him another glance when we walked out the door.