Dear God.

Jimmy
As much as I didn’t want to, I pushed Ashlyn away from me, “What were you thinking?” She shrugged slightly, “I-I don’t know Jimmy…” I looked her in the eyes and gently placed my hand on her cheek and sighed, “Ash, it’s not that I don’t like you that way, but I can’t do something like this, what about Gaven? You two have been together forever and I don’t want to be the reason you two break up.” She looked down again, “I’m sorry Jimmy,” with that she walked away from me and walked up the stairs to see Johnny.
Matt walked in the room along with Zack and Brian, they all looked at me, Brian was the first one to speak up, “So, we seen Ashlyn in here and uh..” Zack cut him off, “What the hell happened Jim? You let her kiss you!” I shrugged, “Zack, I wasn’t kidding when we were on tour and I told Johnny that I like Ash as more than a friend, there’s a reason I didn’t push her away.”

Ashlyn
“Johnny, I really screwed this up, I kissed him!” Johnny sighed and fell backwards on to his bed, “Sis, I love you and all, but make up your mind, do you want Jimmy or Gaven?” I sighed and looked at him, “That’s easy for you to say! You haven’t even considered telling Matt your real feelings about him!” He shot straight up, “You wouldn’t dare think of telling him! That would be like if someone went and told Zack that Brian likes him and that Brian likes Za-,” he cut himself off and covered his mouth, “You did not hear that from me, got it?” I nodded, “So, Zacky and Brian likes each other?!” Johnny nodded, “They were a little drunk, neither of them thought about it and the next thing that happened was I seen Brian leaving Zack’s hotel room at almost three in the morning, freaking out because of what they did, neither of them remember, but they like each other.”

I nodded, “So, why don’t you try and talk to Mattie about how you feel?” He shook his head, “Ash, I love you girly, I really do, but sometimes you act like the whole world is a fairytale and that every person out there is going to get their wildest and craziest dream to come true, I hate to be the one to break it to you, the world doesn’t work like that and now that you’re an adult it isn’t going to kill you to know what’s real from what’s fake.” There I sat, looking at my older brother who never seemed to care about anyone besides himself, since the day I was born and now he was trying to give me advice and tell me how the world works, as if the twenty some years I have been on this earth meant nothing except the fact that I was here and I had no idea what was going on.

I sat down next to Johnny and hugged him tightly, “You’ll get him someday John, I promise.” He looked at me like I was crazy, “Did you not understand a word of what I just said?” I smiled, “I’m your little sister, am I supposed to listen to you?” He shook his head, “No, I guess not, but it would be nice to have you around a lot more than you already are, you know, just so I have someone to talk to more often than a couple times a week.” I nodded, “Yeah, that would be really nice, wouldn’t it bro?” He smirked, “Well, it might happen if you keep moving things the way you have been with Jimmy, he does like you Ash, he told me before.”

I nodded, “When was this? Was he all drugged up?” Johnny shook his head, “He was sober Ash,” I looked at my phone and sighed, it was 2:43 a.m., I looked at Johnny, “I need to head home before Gaven has another one of his bitch fits, bye bro.” He hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek, “See you later little sister.” I smiled and walked out of his room, down the stairs, said good-bye to the rest of the guys and walked out to my car. I got outside and watched a tall figure walk around the corner, since Jimmy wasn’t in the house I assumed he was outside, I ran after him, “Jimmy!” The figure stopped and turned around, “Ash? What are you doing out here?” I smiled slightly, “I’m leaving and you weren’t in the house and I seen you walk over here so I had to come over and tell you bye.” He nodded slightly and took the cigarette from his mouth and hugged me, “I’ll see you later, alright girly?” I nodded and looked at him, I almost got lost in his gorgeous eyes, he smiled at and leaned down and kissed me gently, “I don’t want this to sound like you’re cheating, but I want us to have a relationship Ash, please?”