Heavy

"I want you to be honest with me." 

"About what?"

"The foundation."

Gerard and I were at a park. The clouds, overhead, were thick and gray; it was going to rain. We sat side by side, and I wanted to know why he was wearing the foundation. He and I...we agreed to see where this friendship would take us. We agreed to be completely honest, hold nothing back, with each other.

"It's embarrassing." He answered quietly.

"Do you believe I'll laugh?" I ask.

"No, I just...I feel embarrassed if I tell you."

I nodded, not wanting to pressure him. I had, had a feeling of what had happened, but I couldn't have been sure. I really wanted to help Gerard, just because he had become a real good friend...someone that was becoming closer and closer to me.

"I'll be here...waiting, when you're ready to tell me...if you want to tell me." I say to him.

He looked at me and smiled, "Thanks, October."

I gave him a nod. I mean every word I say to him, because I really did like him. And, he didn't deserve to have the option to cut himself, he didn't deserve to feel the way he did.

"I'm sorry..." I murmur quietly.

He looked over at me again, and we caught eyes. He had this look...this look that tore me up inside. He looked so helpless, so sad, so pathetic. I hate to say pathetic, but that's what it was. It was pitiful and I wanted to take him in my arms.

"You're sweet." He said to me a second after, he then looked down, "Really...I shouldn't even..." he trailed.

"Shouldn't even what?" I ask, scooting closer to him.

He didn't answer; a thunder clap sounded over our heads. We don't flinch, but we look at each other wondering what the other was thinking.

"I should get you home." He murmured as another lightening bolt hit the sky.

"Okay."

Together, Gerard and I started our journey towards my house. We were both silent, but it hadn't been awkward. I wanted more than anything to hold his hand, but I was a pussy. Afraid of the reaction. Afraid of losing him.

Towards my neighborhood, the rain started off slow. Gerard, he pulled me under his arm, and I made another stupid little squeal sound. He chuckled; "Your sweater doesn't have a hood, I don't want you to get soaked."

I was nervous, "Uh, it's okay...my house is right there." I pointed towards Elsa's car that was parked in the drive way.

"Oh," he said disappointedly; he went to let me go, and I didn't want him to.

"But, it's okay. I, uh, like this. You smell nice."

His body seemed to relax even more, "Thanks. You smell like a garden."

I gave short, nervous giggle, "It's the herbal shampoo Elsa buys for me." Again, the blood rushed its way from my feet to my head.

"It's nice."

"Thank you."

The rain started to come down, and we began to sprint towards my home. We both started to laugh, too, which made me feel even more close to him. Once on the porch, we both watched the rain, still laughing like idiots.

"One thing I hate about Washington, it rains randomly." Gerard said.

"You aren't originally from here?" I asked, a bit out of breath.

"Nah...I'm from New Jersey. I've only lived here for two years." He leaned against the porch frame, "I can't wait to go back."

That's when a new fear set in, and it bothered me so. I feared that he would go away, and it bothered me because I already, so quickly, grown attached to him. I don't like growing attached, people tend to leave me.

Suddenly...I wanted Gerard to leave me alone. I wanted him to go. I didn't want him around anymore. This bothered me too. I really didn't want him to, but at the same time, I did.

Before I could say anything, the door opened, and Elsa appeared. I frowned, slightly, and mostly to myself, and Elsa smiled. "Come in." She says.

I want to hit her, and I don't even know why.

Gerard and I step into my house, and I kick my wet shoes off. Elsa tells him to do the same, and then we follow her into the living room.

"What did you learn?" Elsa asked.

"Not much." I said, looking down, "You know how I am."

"We talked a lot about blood cells." Gerard covered for me, and I found my appreciation for him.

"You will get an A, yes?" Elsa asks me.

I nod slowly, "Probably."

Gerard nudged me, "A+." He chuckled.

I shook my head, "Don't push your luck."

When I looked at him, I saw his cheap foundation coming down. I made a gesture, pointing my own face. I saw a purplish bruise coming through, and I leaned in front of him, blocking view, "Uh, El, can you get me a snack?" I turn to her quickly.

She nods, looking over to Gerard, "Snack?"

"No thanks." Gerard said quickly.

Elsa went off into the kitchen, and we both got up, I made him follow me to the first floor bathroom. Inside, I closed the door behind us, and opened the cabinet, where Elsa kept her liquid foundation. "I think you can pull it off." I said to him as I grabbed it.

"She's a darker shade than me." He mumbled.

"Well, it's gonna have to work." I smiled at him, to make him feel at ease.

Gerard didn't say a word to me, I had him sit on the toilet seat while I wiped his old foundation off. The damage was greater than I anticipated. My jaw slacked once I had wiped off the foundation; the bruise went from under his eye to his temple. I felt my breathing hitch and I couldn't even move, all I did was stare at it.

"Gerard..." I whimper.

"Don't stare...please." He grumbled back.

"Who did this?" I knew who had, but I still asked.

"My dad." He answered.

I frowned heavily, moving to stand between his legs. I poured a bit of the concealer onto my fingers and moved in towards Gerard's face. I couldn't believe that my fingers started to shake when I touched him; his face was warm, his eyes looked up at me, mine were focused on covering the bruise. My whole body froze, only slightly, as I gently applied the make up. Gerard's breath hit against the underside of my jaw; the overwhelming feeling to kiss him took over.

Oh, God, I wanted him so bad. 

I tried my best not to think with my teenage hormones and help my friend. I moved quick and gentle, then I finished; I gave him a tight smile and moved back. That's when our eyes locked and I could feel the desire between us heat up.

Without hesitation, Gerard leaned in, stopping only mere inches from my lips. My breathing was erratic, I wished he had hurried up and done something, anything! I hadn't cared what, just anything to break the scary adrenaline flowing through my veins.

After thinking this, he leant forward and pressed those wonderful lips to mine. I swore, I morphed into a puddle, and from the bottom of our feet, I watched us kiss. Almost like an outer body experience.