Heavy

Gerard had let me stay the night. I didn't even care if my parents had known I was doing unimaginable things with him, but they should have been grateful. Gerard saved me from myself, and it was more than I could have asked from him.

He touched my heart.

He shoved his way through, winning my heart. He took time to know me. He's gentle and kind and funny and sweet and beautiful.

They should be grateful. I've chosen to still be here, I'm still alive. They should have been happy they never had to plan a funeral for their crazy child.

But, no. My mother, she saw faults. She thought that he would take advantage of me. He never did. If anything, I was the one to initiate anything sexual between us.

When he had let me stay, I thought of this intently as we tangled in his bed sheets. I on top of him, kissing him sloppily because I was mad at my mom. I wanted to stab her in the back and the front.

Gerard had caught onto this fast, he had pulled away from me; "October, slow down." His voice was heavy, he was out of breath.

I looked at him, sitting back on my knees, "I'm sorry." I murmur.

"What're you apologizing for?" He looked at me curiously.

"For bothering you." I tell him.

"You ain't bothering me, Sugar."

I sighed, "I needed to get away."

"Are you mad at your mom still?" He took my forearms, gently, and looked at me intently with concern.

I nod, "She just doesn't understand, Gee. You saved me. You helped me."

He smiles widely, I love his child-like grin, "And I'm still helping you."

"I don't understand why she thinks that us having sex or anything at all, would be bad for me."

Gerard licked his lips and looked up at me, "She loves you, she only wants the best for you."

"Yeah...you're right. But, she never even let you explain." I countered quietly, "That's what I'm angry about, and the fact she said you weren't allowed to see me anymore."

Gerard tweaked his lips, "We both know Elsa, or anyone, wouldn't stop us. As soon as your parents are gone again, it'll be us."

I looked at him, with intense love and happiness, "In two years...you think you'll still love me like you do now?"

Gerard nodded, "Yes, I do. I plan to marry you as soon as you turn 18."

My heart thumped erratically, "You don't now how happy that makes me."

"We can runaway, get away from this place." He added, "Only if you want."

"I'd go with you now, if I had a high school diploma." I gave a lame laugh.

"I still don't think we're getting ahead of ourselves, I think we're meant to be."

"Ditto." I said with a smile.

Gerard leant up and kissed me.

With both our minds clear, we made love without any regret or anger. The sex and kisses were given with love and attentiveness for our other half. Gerard is mine just as much as I am his.


I had went home the next day, climbing my fat ass up on the roof and back into my bedroom. I climbed through the window and tossed my backpack on the floor. Gerard had suggested that I go home and make amends with my parents and not bring up our relationship.

I had taken a shower, reluctantly washing Gerard's lovely kisses from my body then I got out and put on some clothes. While I had been drying my hair, there was a knock on my door. I knew that I would have to talk to them at some point, but then, I was so ignorant, my teenage angst bullshit took over my ego.

I put my towel down, went to my door, unlocked it and opened it. My dad, he stood there twirling the end of his beard. I smiled at this, I remember, as a kid, playing with his beard.

"Dad," I greeted him, "I'm sorry about--"

He stopped me, "October, I understand. I understand everything. Can I come in so we can talk?"

I gave my dad a short nod and let him in. He didn't bother closing the door, just let it swing back ajar. He sat on my bed, while I sat beside him.

"October, me and your mom...we're gone a lot. We know that you crave..." He had looked lost for the perfect word, "You crave attention, and Gerard fills that void, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he does." I answer him with as much passion as those three words could form.

"He makes you happy?" I nod, "We only want the best for you. We don't want you to hurt yourself or get yourself into a predicament that you'll regret. Your mom...she loves you, you're our baby girl, and we want to give you the world. Your mom thinks that Gerard will hurt you and won't be able to give you want you need."

I shook my head, "I don't want the world. I want Gerard."

My dad stared at me blankly.

"You guys should thank him. I met him, mere days before I tried to kill myself again. I had bought razors and cut myself at the park. He was there, and he fixed me up, dad. I could have easily killed myself, and this guy saved me!"

My dad smiled, looked down, "He saved you." He seemed to have been talking to himself.

"He never forced me to do anything. He helped me. He makes me want to live life and be happy again. I'm in love with him."

My dad looked at me, "This isn't an overnight thing?" 

"Never. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, dad. I want to marry him, have babies and get old with him." I confessed with a happy smile.

The happiness radiated off of my body.

"I would love to see you accomplish all of that, October."

"Thank you."

"I'll talk to your mom, I'll try and make her ease up on you." He patted my head and ruffled my hair.

"Thanks, dad." He pecked my forehead and left the room.

I had won my dad over. All I needed was my mom, but she's one tough cookie. We're both stupid, stubborn idiots. Winning her over wouldn't come easy. It never did.

And when my dad went to talk to her, she yelled. She yelled so loudly, I hadn't need to come out my bedroom to hear her. My body trembled as she yelled at my father.

"...Billy, are you as crazy as October?! I am not letting my daughter see that man--"

"Will, just listen to her. He has helped--"

"I don't care! Maybe he's the cause of her outrageous behavior lately!"

"Lately? October hasn't had the proper--"

"Then we'll bring her with us! She doesn't think we're good enough parents, we'll see when we bring her with us."

"We can't do that, she's 16!"

"We are. We should've done that in the first place, after she tried killing herself at school."

Winning over my mom wouldn't have happened. Unless Hell froze over.