Heavy

I had so many questions to ask Frances once she got home. I was shaking, and I could barely concentrate on my work. I put my pencil down and went to make a cup of tea; and when it was finished, Frances walked in.

She put her purse down and sat at the counter. I looked at her with hopeful eyes, and sipped my tea.

"I met him, and he's a cutie." She started, "But..."

The dreadful but.

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"He has a girlfriend." 

My heart sunk. I already wanted to cry.

"He has a girlfriend?"

Frances sighed, "I'm not making this any better."

"Why? What else?"

"They're engaged."

I sighed, "Great."

"But, I'm sure he'll dump her once he sees you! I mean, he looks the same, from what you told me. That pointy turned up nose you told me about, I couldn't believe my luck!"

"You didn't say anything about me?" I asked her curiously.

"I tried to, but it was hard to even talk to any of them. He was kind of mad, and so I talked to the bassist, Mikey--"

"His little brother? His little brother is in the band?"

I knew then that it was my Gerard.

"I guess, he didn't say. He said that Gerard was stressed out about his girlfriend," Frances rolled her eyes slight, "He corrected himself and said fiancée, was coming to visit. I was so excited to tell you about him. So, it is him?"

I nodded, feeling tears burn my eyes, "Yes, yes." I answered quickly.

"I want you to meet him. I just don't know how to get you two together." Frances chewed at her lip, "I'll try though, because I know that you two need to be together again."

"Me, too." I started to cry, "I've missed him so much." I wiped my eyes, "Who would've known he was right across the fucking bridge." I laughed out of frustration.

Frances got off the stool and came over to hug me. I sobbed into her shoulder, trying my best not to ruin her top.


I thought about Gerard for hours on end. Frances went to work the next day, and promised me she would try her hardest to talk to Gerard. My anticipation was making me nervous, and I quickly took my pills, which evened me out a bit.

I actually got some work down, then took Kruger for a walk. When I returned home, Frances called me.

"He wasn't in today, but we're invited to the party tomorrow night." She said excitedly, "The engineer said the guys would be there."

I exhaled, "Oh, wow. I hope he recognizes me."

"I'm sure he'll be surprised at how beautiful you've gotten." Frances often flattered me; I think she did it to keep me from harming myself.

"I hope so."

"Wear that dress you made last week; that purple mini. You looked amazing in it."

I tugged at my bottom lip, "I'm so damn nervous."

"Don't be. By Saturday morning you'll have your man back."

I tried to force myself to believe Frances' encouraging words. I fought my confidence every step of the way. I could only hope that Gerard would want me, even if he had a fiancée.


I sat in my vanity and flat ironed my hair. I tried to make myself look good. I wanted to look pretty, to catch his eye, but I couldn't be sure if he changed his taste in women. The last time I was with him, he loved me in my jeans and t-shirts. How would he feel about me in a mini dress?

I wondered if would remember that I had his jacket still. That wonder comfort blanket was draped on the back of my vanity chair. I wore it everyday in the winter and spring. It held up pretty well after 5 1/2 years. I planned to wear it to that party.

Frances came into my room looking spectacular. She had on this tight black jeans that looked painted on, and a ripped Robert Smith t-shirt. She looked more like Gerard's type, from what I remember.

"Trade me," I told her, "That's what he likes."

Frances looked down at herself, "You sure? What about that purple mini dress?"

"That's not me..." I trailed; it was me now, "Well, what he remembers."

Frances nodded, "Only because I want you to snag your lover. But, you're going to wear that sexy thing on your date."

"Agreed."